one In Chinese characters, the number one is laid on its side, unlike the Roman numeral I which stands upright. As you would expect, it is is written from left to right. [1] 一 As a primitive element, the key-word meaning is discarded, and the single horizontal stroke takes on the meaning of floor or ceiling, depending on its position: if it stands above another primitive, it means ceiling; if below, floor. two Like the Roman numeral II, which reduplicates the numeral I, the kanji for two is a simple reduplication of the horizontal stroke that means one. The order of writing goes from above to below, with the first stroke slightly shorter. [2] 二 three And like the Roman numeral III, which triples the numeral I, the kanji for three simply triples the single horizontal stroke. In writing it, think of “1 + 2 = 3” in order to keep the middle stroke shorter. [3] 三 four This character is composed of two primitive elements, mouth and human legs, both of which we will meet in the coming lessons. Assuming that you already knew how to write this kanji, we will pass over the “story” connected with it until later. 四 five As with four, we shall postpone learning the primitive elements that make up this character. Note how the general principle we just learned in the preceding frame applies to the writing of the character for five. [4] 五 six The primitives here are top hat and animal legs. Once again, we glide over them until later. [4] 六 seven Note that the first stroke “cuts” through the second. This distinguishes seven from the character for spoon, in which the horizontal stroke stops short. [2] 七 As a primitive, this form takes on the meaning of diced, i.e., “cut” into little pieces, consistent both with the way the character is written and with its association with the kanji for cut to be learned in a later lesson. eight Just as the Arabic numeral “8” is composed of a small circle followed by a larger one, so the kanji for eight is composed of a short line followed by a longer line, slanting towards it but not touching it. [2] 八 And just as the “lazy 8” is the mathematical symbol for “infinity,” so the expanse opened up below these two strokes is associated by the Japanese with the sense of an infinite expanse or something “all-encompassing.” nine If you take care to remember the stroke order of this kanji, you will not have trouble later keeping it distinct from the kanji for power [2] 九 As a primitive, we shall use this kanji to mean baseball team or simply baseball. The meaning, of course, is derived from the nine players who make up a team. ten Turn this character 45 degrees either way and you have the x used for the Roman numeral ten. [2] 十 As a primitive, this character sometimes keeps its meaning of ten and sometimes signifies needle, this latter derived from the kanji for needle. Since the primitive is in the kanji itself, there is no need to worry about confusing the two. mouth Like several of the first characters we shall learn, the kanji for mouth is a clear pictograph. Since there are no circular shapes in the kanji, the square must be used to depict the circle. [3] ロ As a primitive, this form also means mouth. Any of the range of possible images that the word suggests—an opening or entrance to a cave, a river, a bottle, or even the largest hole in your head—can be used for the primitive meaning. day This kanji is intended to be a pictograph of the sun. Recalling what we said in the previous frame about round forms, it is easy to detect the circle and the big smile that characterize oursimplest drawings of the sun—like those yellow badges with the words, “Have a nice day!” [4] 日 Used as a primitive, this kanji can mean sun or day or a tongue wagging in the mouth. month This character is actually a picture of the moon, with the two horizontal lines representing the left eye and mouth of the mythical “man in the moon.” And one month, of course, is one cycle of the moon. [4] 月 As a primitive element, this character can take on the sense of moon, flesh, or part of the body. The reasons for the latter two meanings will be explained in a later chapter. rice field Another pictograph, this kanji looks like a bird’s-eye view of a rice field divided into four plots. Be careful when writing this character to get the order of the strokes correct. [5] 田 When used as a primitive element, the meaning of rice field is most common, but now and again it will take the meaning of brains from the fact that it looks a bit like that tangle of gray matter nestled under our skulls. eye Here again, if we round out the corners of this kanji and curve the middle strokes upwards and downwards respectively, we get something resembling an eye. [5] 目 As a primitive, the kanji keeps its sense of eye, or more specifically, an eyeball. In the surroundings of a complex kanji, the primitive will sometimes be turned on its side. old The primitive elements that compose this character are ten and mouth, but you may find it easier to remember it as a pictograph of a tombstone with a cross on top. Just think back to one of those graveyards you have visited, or better still, used to play in as a child, with old inscriptions on the tombstones. 古 Used as a primitive element, this kanji keeps its key-word sense of old, but care should be taken to make that abstract notion as graphic as possible. I There are actually a number of kanji for the word I, but the others tend to be more specific than this one. The key word here should be taken in the general psychological sense of the “perceiving subject.” Now the one place in our bodies that all five senses are concentrated in is the head, which has no less than five mouths: 2 nostrils, 2 ears, and 1 mouth. Hence, five mouths = I. [7] 吾 risk Remember when you were young and your mother told you never to look directly into the sun for fear you might burn out your eyes? Probably you were foolish enough to risk a quick glance once or twice; but just as probably, you passed that bit of folk wisdom on to someone else as you grew older. Here, too, the kanji that has a sun above and an eye right below looking up at it has the meaning of risk. [9] 冒 companion The first companion that God made, as the Bible story goes, was Eve. Upon seeing her, Adam exclaimed, “Flesh of my flesh!” And that is precisely what this character says in so many strokes. [8] 朋 bright Among nature’s bright lights, there are two that the biblical myth has God set in the sky: the sun to rule over the day and the moon to rule the night. Each of them has come to represent one of the common connotations of this key word: the sun, the bright insight of the clear thinker, and the moon, the bright intuition of the poet and the seer. [8] 明 chorus This one is easy! You have one mouth making no noise (the choirmaster) and two mouths with wagging tongues (the minimum for a chorus). So think of the key word, chant, as monastery singing and the kanji is yours forever (see frame 12). [11] 唱 sparkle What else can the word sparkle suggest if not a diamond? And if you’ve ever held a diamond up to the light, you will have noticed how every facet of it becomes like a miniature sun. Thiskanji is a picture of a tiny sun in three places (that is, “everywhere”), to give the sense of something that sparkles on all sides. Just like a diamond. In writing the primitive elements three times. [12] 晶 goods The triplication of a single element in this character indicates “everywhere” or “heaps of.” When we think of goods in modern industrial society, we think of what has been mass-produced—that is to say, produced for the “masses” of open mouths waiting like fledglings in a nest to “consume” whatever comes their way. [9] 品 spine This character is rather like a picture of two of the vertebrae in the spine linked by a single stroke. [7] 呂 prosperous What we mentioned in the previous two frames about 3 of something meaning “everywhere” or “heaps of ” was not meant to be taken lightly. In this kanji we see two suns, one atop the other, which, if we are not careful, is easily confused in memory with the three suns of sparkle. Focus on the number this way: since we speak of prosperous times as sunny, what could be more prosperous than a sky with two suns in it? Just be sure to actually see them there. [8] 昌 early This kanji is actually a picture of the first flower of the day, which we shall, in defiance of botanical science, call the sunflower. The sense of early is easily remembered if one thinks of the sunflower as the early riser in the garden, because the sun, showing favoritism towards its namesake, shines on it before all the others [6] 早 rising sun This character is a sort of nickname for the Japanese flag with its well-known emblem of the rising sun. If you can picture two seams running down that great red sun, and then imagine it sitting on a baseball bat for a flagpole, you have a slightly irreverent—but not altogether inaccurate—picture of how the sport has caught on in the Land of the Rising Sun. [6] 旭 generation We generally consider one generation as a period of thirty (or ten plus ten plus ten) years. If you look at this kanji in its completed form—not in its stroke order—you will see three tens. When writing it, think of the lower horizontal lines as “addition” lines written under numbers to add them up. Thus: ten “plus” ten “plus” ten = thirty. Actually, it’s a lot easier doing it with a pencil than reading it in a book. [5] 世 stomach primitive elements that make up this character: flesh (part of the body) and brain. What the kanji says, if you look at it, is that the part of the body that keeps the brain in working order is the stomach. To keep the elements in proper order, when you write this kanji think of the brain as being “held up” by the flesh.[9] 胃 nightbreak While we normally refer to the start of the day as “daybreak,” Japanese commonly refers to it as the “opening up of night” into day. Hence the choice of this rather odd key word, nightbreak. The single stroke at the bottom represents the floor or the horizon over which the sun is poking its head. [5] 旦 gall bladder on the left, the body, and on the right, nightbreak. But if we give a slight twist to the traditional biblical advice about not letting the sun set on your anger and change it to “not letting the night break on your anger” (or your gall), the work is done. And the improvement is not a bad piece of advice in its own right, since anger, like so many other things, can often be calmed by letting the sun set on it and then “sleeping it off.” [9] 胆 span “Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...” goes the song of the Fiddler on the Roof. You can almost see the journey of the sun as it moves from one horizon (the floor) to its noonday heights in the sky overhead (ceiling) and then disappears over the other horizon—day after day, marking the span of our lives. [6] 亘 concave You couldn’t have asked for a better key word for this kanji! Just have a look at it: a perfect image of a concave lens, complete with its own little “cave.” Now all you have to do is learn how to write it. [5] 凹 convex Maybe this helps you see how the Japanese have no trouble keeping convex distinct from concave. Note the odd feeling of the third stroke. If it doesn’t feel all that strange now, by the time you are done with this book, it will. There are very few times you will have to write it. [5] 凸 olden times A walking stick is needed for days of olden times, since days,too, get old—at least insofar as we refer to them as the “good old days.” The main thing here is to think of “good old days” when you hear the key word olden times. The rest will take care of itself. [5] 旧 oneself You can think of this kanji as a stylized pictograph of the nose, that little drop that Mother Nature set between your eyes. The Japanese refer to themselves by pointing a finger at their nose, giving us an easy way to remember the kanji for oneself. [6] 自 The same meaning of oneself can be kept when this kanji is used as a primitive element, but you will generally find it better to give it the meaning of nose or nostrils. white The color white is a mixture of all the primary colors, both for pigments and for light, as we see when a prism breaks up the rays of the sun. Hence, a single drop of sun spells white. [5] 白 As a primitive, this character can either retain its meaning of white or take the more graphic meaning of a white bird or dove. This latter stems from the fact that it appears at the top of the kanji for bird, which we shall get to later. hundred The Japanese refer to a person’s 99th birthday as a “white year” because white is the kanji you are left with if you subtract one from a hundred. [6] 百 in The elements here are a walking stick and a mouth. Remember the trouble your mother had getting medicine in your mouth? Chances are it crossed her mind more than once to grab something handy, like your grandfather’s walking stick, to pry open your jaws while she performed her duty. Keep the image of getting something in from the outside, and the otherwise abstract sense of this key word should be a lot easier than trying to spoon castor oil into a baby’s mouth. [4] 中 thousand This kanji is almost too simple to pull apart, but for the sake of practice, have a look at the drop above and the ten below. Now put the elements together by thinking of squeezing two more zeros out of an eyedropper alongside the number ten to make it a thousand. [3] 千 tongue The primitive for mouth and the character for thousand naturally form the idea of tongue if one thinks of a thousand mouths able to speak the same language, or as we say, “sharing a common tongue.” It is easy to see the connection between the idiom and the kanji if you take its image literally: a single tongue being passed around from mouth to mouth. [6] 舌 measuring box This is the character for the little wooden box that the Japanese use for measuring things, as well as for drinking saké out of. Simply imagine the outside as spiked with a thousand sharp needles, and the quaint little measuring box becomes a drinker’s nightmare! [4] 升 rise up Our image here is made up of two primitive elements: a sun and a measuring box. Just as the sun can be seen rising up in the morning from—where else—the Land of the Rising Sun, this kanji has the sun rising up out of a Japanese measuring box— the “measuring box of the rising-up sun.” [8] 昇 round We speak of “round numbers,” or “rounding a number off,” meaning to add an insigni3cant amount to bring it to the nearest 10. For instance, if you add just a wee bit, the tiniest drop, to nine, you end up with a round number. [3] 丸 As a primitive, this element takes the meaning of a fat man.　Think of a grotesquely fat man whose paunch so covers the　plate that he is always getting hit by the pitch. Hence a round　baseball player becomes a fat man. measurement This kanji actually stood for a small measurement used prior to the metric system, a bit over an inch in length, and from there acquired the sense of measurement. In the old system, it was one-tenth of a shaku. The picture, appropriately, represents one drop of a ten (with a hook!). [3] 寸 As a primitive, we shall use this to mean glue or glued to. There is no need to devise a story to remember this, since the primitive will appear so often you would have to struggle hard not to remember it. specialty Ten...rice fields...glue. That is how one would read the primitive elements. Now if we make a simple sentence out of these elements, we get: “Ten rice fields glued together.”|A specialty, of course, refers to one’s special “field” of endeavor or competence. In fact, few people remain content with a single specialty and usually extend themselves in other fields as well. This is how we come to get the picture of ten fields glued together to represent a specialty. [9] 専 Dr. At the left we have the needle; at the right, the kanji for specialty, plus an extra drop at the top. Think of a Dr. who is a specialist with a needle (an acupuncturist) and let the drop at the top represent the period at the end of Dr. [12] 博 The primitive form of this kanji eliminates the needle on the left and gets the meaning of an acupuncturist. fortune telling This is one of those kanji that is a real joy of simplicity: a divining rod with a mouth—which translate directly into fortune telling. 占 above The two directions, above and below, are usually pointed at with the finger. But the characters do not follow that custom, so we have to choose something else, easily remembered. The primitives show a magic wand standing above a floor—“magically,” you might say. Anyway, go right on to the next frame, since the two belong together and are best remembered as a unit, just as the words above and below suggest each other. [3] 上 below Here we see our famous miraculous magic wand hanging, all on its own, below the ceiling, as you probably already guessed would happen. [3] 下 The two shapes given in this and the preceding frame also serve to 3x the use of the primitives for ceiling and floor, by drawing our attention successively to the line standing above and below the primitive element to which it is related. eminent The word eminent suggests a famous or well-known person. So all you need to do—given the primitives of a magic wand and a sunflower—is to think of the world’s most eminent magician as one who uses a sunμower for a magic wand (like a flower-child who goes around turning the world into peace and love). [8] 卓 morning On the right we see the moon fading off into the first light of morning, and to the left, the mist that falls to give nature a shower to prepare it for the coming heat. If you can think of the moon tilting over to spill mist on your garden, you should have no trouble remembering which of all the elements in this story are to serve as primitives for constructing the character. [12] 朝 only When we run across abstract key words like this one, the best way to get an image it to recall some common but suggestive phrase in which the word appears. For instance, we can think of the expression “it’s the only one of its kind.” Then we imagine a barker at a side-show advertising some strange pac-man like creature he has inside his tent, with only a gigantic mouth and two wee animal legs. [5] 只 shellfish To remember the primitive elements that make up this kanji, an eye and animal legs, you might be tempted to think of it as a pictograph of a shellfish with its ridged shell at the top and two little legs sticking out of the bottom. But that might not help you recall later just how many ridges to put on the shell. Better to imagine a freakish shellfish with a single, gigantic eye roaming the beaches on its slender little legs, scaring the wits out of the sunbathers. [7] 貝 When used as a primitive, in addition to shells, the meanings　oyster and clam will often come in handy. upright Now take the last primitive, the shellfish, and set a magic wand over it, and you have the kanji for upright. After all, the clam and the oyster are incapable of walking upright. It would take a magician with his wand to pull off such a feat—which is precisely what we have in this kanji. [9] 貞 employee How do we get a mouth over a shellfish to mean an employee? Simple. Just remember the advice new employees get about keeping their mouths shut and doing their job, and then make that more graphic by picturing an office building full of whitecollar workers scurrying around with clams pinched to their mouths. [10] 員 see The elements that compose the character for see are the eye firmly fixed to a pair of human legs. Surely, somewhere in your experience, there is a vivid image just waiting to be dragged up to help you remember this character.... [7] 見 newborn baby The top part of the kanji in this frame, you will remember, is the character for olden times, those days so old they needed a walking stick to get around. Western mythical imagination has old “Father Time” leaning on his sickle with a newborn babe crawling around his legs, the idea being that the circle of birth-and-death goes on. 児 beginning “In the beginning...” starts that marvelous shelf of books we call the Bible. It talks about how all things were made, and tells us that when the Creator came to humanity she made two of them, man and woman. While we presume she made two of every other animal as well, we are not told as much. Hence two and a pair of human legs come to mean beginning. [4] 元 page What we have to do here is turn a shellfish into a page of a book. The one at the top tells us that we only get a rather short book, in fact only one page. Imagine a title printed on the shell of an oyster, let us say “Pearl of Wisdom,” and then open the quaint book to its one and only page, on which you find a single, radiant drop of wisdom, one of the masterpiece poems of nature. [9] 頁 As a primitive, this kanji takes the unrelated meaning of a head (preferably one detached from its body), derived from the character for head. stubborn The root of all stubbornness goes back to the beginning, with two brothers each stubbornly defending his own way of life and asking their God to bless it favorably. Abel stuck to agriculture, Cain to animal-raising. Picture these two with their giant, swelled heads, each vying for the favors of heaven, a stubborn grimace on their faces. No wonder something unfortunate happened! [13] 頑 mediocre While we refer to something insignificant as a “drop in the bucket,” the kanji for mediocre suggests the image of a “drop in the wind.” [3] 凡 defeat Above we have the condensed form of bound up, and below the familiar shellfish. Now imagine two oysters engaged in shell-to-shell combat, the one who is defeated being bound and gagged with seaweed, the victor towering triumphantly over it. The bound shellfish thus becomes the symbol for defeat. [9] 負 ten thousand Japanese counts higher numbers in units of ten thousand, unlike the West, which advances according to units of one thousand. (Thus, for instance, 40,000 would be read “four ten- thousands” by a Japanese.) Given that the comma is used in larger numbers to bind up a numerical unit of one thousand, the elements for one and bound up naturally come to form ten thousand. 万 phrase By combining the two primitives bound up and mouth, we can easily see how this character can get the meaning of a phrase. After all, a phrase is nothing more than a number of words bound up tightly and neatly so that they will fit in your mouth. [5] 句 texture Ever notice how the texture of your face and hands is affected by the wind? A day’s skiing or sailing makes them rough and dry, and in need of a good soft cream to soothe the burn. So whenever a part of the body gets exposed to the wind, its texture is affected. (If it is any help, the Latin word hiding inside texture connotes how something is “to the touch.”) [6] 肌 decamron (10 days) There simply is not a good phrase in English for the block of ten days which this character represents. So we resurrect the classical phrase, decameron, whose connotations the tales of Boccaccio have done much to enrich. Actually, it refers to a journey of ten days taken by a band of people—that is, a group of people bound together for the days of the decameron. [6] 旬 ladle If you want to bind up drops of anything—water, soup, lemon-ade—you use something to scoop these drops up, which is what we call a ladle. See the last drop left inside the ladle? [3] 勺 bull`s eye The elements white bird and ladle easily suggest the image of a bull’s eye if you imagine a rusty old ladle with a bull’s eye painted on it in the form of a tiny white bird, who lets out a little “peep” every time you hit the target. [8] 的 neck horns...nose. Together they bring to mind the picture of a moose-head hanging on the den wall, with its great horns and long nose. Now while we would speak of cutting off a moose’s “head” to hang on the wall, the Japanese speak of cutting off its neck. It’s all a matter of how you look at it. 首 fish guts The kanji shown here actually represents the “second” position in the old Chinese zodiac, which the Japanese still use as an alternate way of enumeration, much the same way that English will revert to Roman numerals. Among its many other meanings are “pure,” “tasteful,” “quaint,” and—get this!—fish guts. Since it is a pictograph of a fishhook, let us take this last as the key-word meaning. [1] 乙 riot In a riot, manners are laid aside and tempers get short, even in so courtesy-conscious a land as Japan. This kanji shows whathappens to a rioting tongue: it gets “barbed” like a fishhook, and sets to attacking the opposition, to hook them as it were. [7] 乱 straightaway Begin with the top two primitives, needle and eye. Together they represent the eye of a needle. Below them is a fishhook that has been straightened out and its barb removed so that it can pass through the eye of the needle. [8] 直 tool Here is the full kanji on which the last frame is based. If you can think of a table full of carpenter’s tools of all sorts, each equipped with its own eye so that it can keep a watch over what you are doing with it, you won’t have trouble later keeping the primitive and the kanji apart. [8] 具 true Here again we meet the composite element, eye of the needle, which here combines with tool to give us a measure of what is true and what is not. [10] 真 craft The pictograph of an I beam, like the kind used in heavy construction work, gives us the character for craft in general. [3] 工 As a primitive element, the key word retains the meaning of craft and also takes on the related meanings of I beam and artificial. left By combining the primitive and the kanji of the last two frames and reading the results, we get: by one’s side...craft. Conveniently, the left has traditionally been considered the “sinister” side, where dark and occult crafts are cultivated. Note how the second stroke droops over to the left and is longer than the first. [5] 左 right When thinking of the key word right, in order to avoid confusion with the previous frame, take advantage of the double meaning here, too. Imagine a little mouth hanging down by your side—like a little voice of conscience—telling you the right thing to do. Here the second stroke should reach out to the right and be drawn slightly longer than the first. [5] 右 possess The picture here is of someone with a slab of meat dangling by the side, perhaps from a belt or rope tied around the waist. Think of it as an evil spirit in possession of one’s soul, who can be exorcized only by allowing fresh meat to hang by one’s side until it begins to putrefy and stink so bad that the demon departs. Take careful note of the stroke order. [6] 有 bribe To the left we have the primitive for a shellfish, and to the right the kanji we just learned for possess. Keep the connotation of the last frame for the word possess, and now expand your image of shells to include the ancient value they had as money (a usage that will come in very helpful later on). Now one who is possessed by shells is likely to abandon any higher principles to acquire more and more wealth. These are the easiest ones to bribe with a few extra shells. [13] 賄 tribute A tribute has a kind of double-meaning in English: honor paid freely and money collected by coercion. Simply because a ruler bestows a noble name on a deed is hardly any consolation to the masses who must part with their hard-earned money. Little wonder that this ancient craft of getting money by calling it a tribute has given way to a name closer to how it feels to those who pay it: a tax. [10] 貢 paragraph To the right we see a head and to the left an element that means craft. When we think of a paragraph, we immediately think of a heading device to break a text into parts. (Think of the elaborate heads often seen at the start of medieval manuscripts and the task becomes easier still.) Just where and how to do it belongs to the writer’s craft. Hence, we define paragraphing as the “heading craft” to remember this character. [12] 項 sword Although this character no longer looks very much like a sword, it does have some resemblance to the handle of the sword. As it turns out, this is to our advantage, in that it helps us keep distinct two primitive elements based on this character. [2] 刀 In the form of the kanji, this primitive means a dagger. When it appears to the right of another element, it is commonly stretched out like this リ and takes the sense of a great and flashing saber, a meaning it gets from a character we learn later. blade Think of using a dagger as a razor blade, and it shouldn’t be hard to imagine cutting yourself. See the little drop of blood clinging to the blade? [3] 刃 cut To the right we see the dagger and next to it the number seven whose primitive meaning we decided would be diced. It is hard to think of cutting anything with a knife without imagining one of those skillful Japanese chefs. Only let us say that he has had too much to drink at a party, grabs a dagger lying on the mantelpiece and starts dicing up everything in sight, starting with the hors d’oeuvres and going on to the furniture and the carpets...[4] 切 seduce A sword or dagger posed over a mouth is how the character for “beckoning” is written. The related but less tame key word seduce was chosen because it seemed to fit better with the—how shall we put it?—Freudian implications of the kanji. (Observe if you will that it is not sure whether the long slender object is seducing the small round one or vice versa.) [5] 召 The primitive meaning remains the same: seduce. Just be sure to associate it with a very concrete image. shining Let the key word suggest shining one’s shoes, the purpose of which is to seduce the sun down on them for all to see. [9] 昭 rule The character depicts a clam alongside a great and flashing saber. Think of digging for clams in an area where there are gaming rules governing how large a find has to be before you can keep it. So you take your trusty saber, which you have carefully notched like a yardstick, crack open a clam and then measure the poor little beastie to see if it is as long as the rules say it has to be. [9] 則 vice- The key word vice- has the sense of someone second-in-command. The great and flashing saber to the right (its usual location, so you need not worry about where to put it from now on) and the wealth on the left combine to create an image of dividing one’s property to give a share to one’s vice-wealthholder. [11] 副 separate In the Old East, the samurai and his saber were never separated. They were constant companions, like the cowboy of the Old West and his six-shooter. This character depicts what must have been the height of separation-anxiety for a samurai: to be bound up with a rope and unable to get at his saber leaning only a few feet away from him. Look at that mouth bellowing out.|Note the order in which the element for tied up is written—just as it had been with the character for ten thousand.[7] 別 street The picture here is of a street sign on a long pole: Hollywood and Vine, if you please, or any street that immediately conjures up the image of a street sign to you. [2] 丁 We change the meaning to signify a nail or a spike. Should it happen, that you find the pictographs get jumbled, then think of jerking a street sign out of the ground and using it as a nail to repair your garage roof. village Street signs standing at the corner of the rice fields depict the　village limits. (Remember what was said earlier: when used as　a primitive, a kanji may either take its primitive meaning or　revert to the original meaning of its key word.) [7] 町 can Remember the story about the “Little Engine that Could” when you hear this key word, and the rest is simple. See the determined little locomotive huffing and puffing up the mountain—”I think I can, I think I can....”—spitting railroad spikes out of its mouth as it chews up the line to the top. [5] 可 place on the head The key word is actually a formal metaphor meaning “humble acceptance.” two primitive elements in the order of their writing: nail...head. As in “hitting the nail on the head.” Now one presumes that most people can handle metaphors, but if you were to run into a dimwit working in a hardware store who only knew the literal meaning of things, and were to ask him, in your best Japanese, to place on your head a nail, he might miss the point and cause you considerable torment. [11] 頂 child This kanji is a pictograph of a child wrapped up in one of those handy cocoons that Japanese mothers fix to their backs to carry around young children who cannot get around by themselves. The first stroke is like a wee head popping out for air; the second shows the body and legs all wrapped up; and the final stroke shows the arms sticking out to cling to the mother’s neck. [3] 子 As a primitive, the meaning of child is retained, though you might imagine a little older child, able to run around and get into more mischief. cavity Probably the one thing most children fear more than anything else is the dentist’s chair. Once a child has seen a dentist holding the x-rays up to the light and heard that ominous word cavity, even though it is not likely to know that the word means “hole” until it is much older, it will not be long before those two syllables get associated with the drill and that row of shiny hooks the dentist uses to torture people who are too small to fight back. [4] 孔 complete Learn this character by returning to 子　and the image given there. The only difference is that the “arms” have been left off (actually, only tucked inside). Thus a child with its arms wrapped up into the back-sack is the picture of a job successfully completed. [2] 了 woman You have probably seen somewhere the form of a squatting woman drawn behind this character, with two legs at the bottom, two arms (the horizontal line) and the head poking out the top. A little farfetched, until you draw the character and feel the grace and flow of the three simple strokes. Remembering the kanji is easy; learning to write it beautifully is another thing. [3] 女 fond The phrase “to be fond of someone” has a natural gentleness about it, and lends a tenderness to the sense of touching by giving us the related term “to fondle.” The character likens it to a woman fondling her child. [6] 好 likeness Pardon me if I revert to the venerable old Dr. Freud again, but his eye for symbolism is often helpful. For instance, the fact that things like the mouth of a cave served as natural ritual substitutes for the opening through which a woman gives birth. Hence, in order to be reborn as an adult, one may have to pass through the psychological equivalent of the womb, that is, something that bears a likeness to the opening of the woman from whom you were born. [6]|woman...mouth 如 mama Look closely at this kanji and you will find the outline of the kanji for woman in it, though it has been expanded to make space for the two breasts that make her a mama. Likening this sound to a baby nursing at its mother’s breast has afforded some scholars of comparative linguistics a way to explain the presence of the same word across a wide range of language groups. [5] 母 As a primitive we shall add the meaning of breasts in accord with the explanation given above. Take note of the fact that the form is altered slightly when this kanji serves as a primitive, the final two dots joining together to form a longer stroke. pierce If one is asked to think of associations for the word pierce, among the first to come to mind is that of piercing one’s ears to hold earrings, a quite primitive form of self-mutilation that has survived into the 21st century. The kanji here is read, top to bottom: mother...oyster. All you need to do is imagine piercing an ear so that it can hold a mother-of-pearl you have just wrested from an oyster. [11] 貫 elder brother By now kanji like this one should “look like” something to you even though it is more of an “ideogram” than a “pictograph.” The large mouth on top and the human legs below almost jump off the page as a caricature of elder brother, the one with the big mouth (or if you prefer a kinder image, the one who “has the say” among all the children). [5] 兄 As a primitive this character will take the meaning of teenager, in accord with the familiar image of the big mouth and the gangling, clumsy legs. overcome In this frame we get a chance to use the kanji we just learned in its primitive meaning of teenager. The needle on top indicates one of the major problems confronting the teenager growing up in today’s world: drugs. Many of them will fall under the shadow of the needle at some time during those tender years, but only when a whole generation rises up and decides that “We Shall Overcome” the plague, will the needle cease to hang over their heads, as it does in this character. [7] 克 little The sense of little that this character represents is not the same as “a little bit.” That meaning comes in the next frame. Here little means “small” or “tiny.” The image is actually of three little drops, the first of which (the one in the middle) is written larger so that the kanji has some shape to it. The point of writing it three times is to rub the point in: little, little, nothing but little. [3] 小 The primitive of the same shape keeps the same meaning. Written above a horizontal line, its form is slightly altered, the last two strokes turning inwards. few First we need to look at the fourth stroke, the drop at the bottom that has been extended into a longer diagonal stroke leaning left. This happens because a single, isolated drop will never appear beneath its relative primitive in its normal size, for fear it would drop off and get lost. As for the meaning, let the tiny drop indicate a further belittling of what is already little—thus making it a few of something little. [4] 少 large Here we have a simple pictograph of a person, taking up the space of an entire character and giving it the sense of large. It should not be too hard to locate the two legs and outstretched arms. [3] 大 As a primitive, we need a different meaning, since the element representing the human person will come up later. Hence, this shape will become a large dog or, if you prefer, a St. Bernard dog. In frame 238 we will explain why this choice was made. many “Many moons ago,” begins much of Amerindian folklore—a colorful way of saying “Once upon a time” and a great deal of help for remembering this kanji. Here we have two moons (three of them would take us back to the beginning of time, which is further than we want to go), lacking the final stroke because they are partially hidden behind the clouds of time. [6] 多 evening Just as the word evening adds a touch of formality or romanticism to the ordinary word “night,” so the kanji for evening takes the ordinary looking moon in the night sky and has a cloud pass over it. [3] 夕 The primitive keeps the same meaning and connotation as the kanji. eventide In the next lesson we will meet the character for morning-tide and the element for drops of water. Meantime we have a perfect blend of picture and idea in this kanji to play on the English word for nightfall, eventide: drops of water inching their way up the shore in the evening. [6] 汐 outside On the left, the primitive for evening, and on the right, that for the magic wand. Now, as every magician worth his abracadabra knows, bringing your magic wand out into the evening air makes your magic much more powerful than if you were to stay indoors. Hence, evening and magic wand takes you naturally outside. [5] 外 name Perhaps you have heard of the custom, still preserved in certain African tribes, of a father creeping into the tent or hut of his newborn child on the night of the child’s birth, to whisper into its ear the name he has chosen for it, before making his choice public. It is an impressive naming custom and fits in tidily with the way this character is constructed: evening...mouth. At evening time, a mouth pronounces the name that will accompany one throughout life. [6] 名 stone With a mouth under a cliff, what else could we have here but the entrance to a secret cavern, before which a great stone has been rolled so that none may enter. Perhaps it is the hiding place where Ali Baba and his band of thieves have stored their treasures, in which case that magic word known to every school child who ever delighted over the tales of the Arabian Nights should be enough to push the stone aside. But take care—the cliff is steep, and one slip will send you tumbling down. [5] 石 The stone is a quite common primitive element, which is not restricted to great boulders but used of stones or rocks of any size or shape. resemblance The word resemblance should suggest, among other things, a son’s resemblance to his father. A “chip off the old block” is the way we often put it, but the character is more simple. It speaks of a little bit of flesh. [7] 肖 When used as a primitive, the sense of resemblance is replaced by that of spark or candle. (If you want an explanation: the kanji for moon also carries a secondary sense of fire, which we omitted because we are keeping that meaning for other primitives.) nitrate The word nitrate should immediately suggest a beaker of nitric acid, which, as every high-school chemistry student knows, can eat its way through some pretty tough substances. Here we imagine pouring it over a rock and watching the sparks fly as it bores a hole through the rock. [12]|stone...resemblance 硝 smash We begin with the two elements on the right, baseball and needle. Since they will be coming together from time to time, let us give the two of them the sense of a game of cricket in which a needle is laid across the wicket. Then imagine using a rock for a ball. A smash hit would probably splinter the bat in all directions, and a smashing pitch would do the same with the needle wicket. [9] 砕 sand Good sand for beaches has few or no stones in it. That means that all of us whose feet have been spoiled by too much time in shoes don’t have to watch our step as we cavort about. [9] 砂 plane Long before the invention of the carpenter’s plane, people used knives and machetes (or here, sabers) to smooth out their woodwork. If you have ever seen the process, you will have been amazed at the speed and agility with which the adept can plane a hunk of wood into shape. Indeed, you can almost see the sparks fly from their sabers. [9] 削 ray There are really only 2 primitives here, little and human legs. The 4th stroke that separates them is added for reasons of aesthetics. Now if you have wondered what those little particles of “dust” are that dance around in the light-rays that come through the window and fall on your desk, try imagining them as little and disembodied human legs, and you should have no trouble with this character. [6] 光 plump “Plump” is one of those delightful English words that almost sound like their meaning. No sooner do you hear it than you think of a round and ample-bodied person falling into a sofa like a large drop of oil plopping into a fishbowl—kerrrr-plump! [4] 太 utensil The picture in this kanji is not a pleasant one. It shows a large and fluffy St. Bernard dog stretched out on a table all stuffed and stewed and garnished with vegetables, its paws in the air and an apple in its mouth. At each corner of the table sits an eager but empty mouth, waiting for the utensils to arrive so the feast can begin. [15] 器 stinking This character is a bit friendlier to the animal world. Our friend the St. Bernard is alive and well, its nose in the air sniffing suspiciously after something stinking somewhere or other. [9] 臭 exquisite The primitive for woman is on the left (there and at the bottom of another primitive is where you will always find her), and to the right the element for few. When we refer to a woman as exquisite, we mean to praise her as the sort of person we meet but few and far between. To be pedantic about it, the Latin word at the root of the word exquisite carries this sense of “seeking out” the rare from the ordinary. [7] 妙 focus When we think of focusing on something, we usually take it in a metaphorical sense, though the literal sense is not far behind. It means to block out what is nonessential in order to fix our eye on a few important matters. The kanji suggests picking up a few things and holding them before one’s eye in order to focus on them better. [9] 省 thick When we refer to someone as thick-skinned or thickheaded, we are usually quick to add—even if only under our breath—something about their upbringing, since we cherish the belief that by nature people are basically tender and sensitive. The Japanese character for thick depicts a child abandoned out on the wild cliffs, exposed to the heat of the sun, and thus doomed to develop a head and skin as thick as the parent who left it there. [9] 厚 strange The elements we are given to work with here are St. Bernard dog and can. Since the latter is too abstract, let us return to its elements: a mouth with nails. Now all we need do is create a fictitious “Strange But True” column in the Sunday funnies, featuring a St. Bernard whose mouth has been nailed shut because he was hitting the brandy keg around his neck too hard. [8] 奇 stream We have taken the image of a river stream over into English to describe things that fall down in straight lines, or ripple along in lines. All of this is more than evident in the kanji given here, a pictograph of a stream. [3] 川 As a primitive, this character adds to the meaning of stream the more vivid image of a μood. Note, however, that there are certain small changes in the writing of the element, depending on where it appears relative to other elements state Here we see drops of land (little islets) rising up out of a stream, creating a kind of sandbar or breakwater. Ever wonder how the state-line is drawn between states separated by a river? If there were little drops of land as in the kanji, there’d be nothing to it. [6] 州 obey In primitive language, this character would read stream...head. And that turns out to be convenient for remembering its meaning of obey. Either one obeys the person who is head of an organization or else obeys by following the stream of opinion (“current” practice, we call it). Both these senses come together in this kanji. [12]. 順 water This character, which looks a bit like a snowflake, is actually a pictograph of water—not any particular body of water or movement of water, but simply the generic name for water. Should you have any difficulty remembering it, simply think of a walking stick being dropped vertically into the water, sending droplets out in all four directions. Then all you need to learn is how to write it in proper order. [4] 水 icicle The appearance of the primitive for water in its full form tells us that we have something to do with water here. The extra drop to the left, added as a second stroke, changes the picture from a splash caused by a walking stick dropped into water to form an icicle. If you hold an icicle up to the light, you can usually see little crystallizations of five-pointed stars inside of it, which is the shape we have in this kanji. [5] 氷 eternity This kanji also uses the full form of water, though its meaning seems to have nothing at all to do with water. Remember what William Blake said about seeing “infinity in a grain of sand and eternity in an hour”? Well, reading this character from top to bottom, we see “eternity in a drop of water.” [5] 永 spring Call to mind the image of a fresh, bubbling spring of water, and you will probably notice how the top of the spring you are thinking of, the part where the “bubbling” goes on, is all white. Happily, the white is just where it should be, at the top, and the water is at the bottom. [9] 泉 We will keep this image of a spring when using this kanji as a primitive, but not without drawing attention to a change that distinguishes the primitive from the kanji. The final 4 strokes are abbreviated to the three small drops: the kanji for little. meadow Though the kanji is broad enough to embrace both meanings, the meadow here is not a flatland plain but a mountain meadow in the Austrian Alps. Simply think of little springs bubbling up across the meadow to form a sort of path that leads you right to the brink of a precipitous cliff. Now if you can see Schwester Maria skipping along merrily, dodging in and out of the springs, and then falling headlong over the cliff, you have a ridiculous story that should help fix this kanji in memory. [10] 原 petition A meadow and a head are all we are given to work with in the kanji for petition. Since the key word already suggests something like a formal request made of some higher power, let us imagine a gigantic Wizard-of-Oz head located in the middle of the flowery meadow we used in the last frame. Then just picture people kneeling hopefully before it, petitioning for whatever it is they want. (The scarecrow wanted brains, the lion, courage, and the tin man a heart. What about you?) [19] 願 swim The primitive to the left represents water. To the right, we see the kanji for eternity. Knowing how much children like swimming, what could be a better image of eternal bliss than an endless expanse of water to swim in without a care in the world? [8] 泳 marsh Unlike the meadow with its cliffs, the marshlands are low and near a source of water that feeds them until they get soggy through and through. Why certain land becomes marshy is probably due to the fact that it felt thirsty, and so tried its best to seduce the water over to its side. But, like most inordinate seductions, the last state of the victim is worse than the first. Hence the slushy marsh. [8] 沼 open sea This kanji could hardly be simpler. The key word open sea readily suggests being out in the middle of a great body of water. Thinking of it in this way should avoid confusion with the kanji for “open,” which we will meet later on. [7] 沖 creek Unlike the river, the ocean, the lake, and the pond, the creek is often no more then a dribble of water trickling down a small gully. While the geological history of the larger bodies of water is hard to surmise sometimes, all of us know from our childhood how creeks are made. You probably even dug one or two in your time. All you need to do is find a mainstream of water somewhere and dig a little path into dry land. The creek is thus a lesson in water-craft, as this kanji would agree. [6] 江 soup To make soup, one begins with water and then starts adding things to it, often leftovers from the icebox. This is how the thick soup or stew called “seven-in-one” is made. This kanji does it three better, giving us a ten-ingredient soup. [5] 汁 tide Before we get to explaining this character, take a look at it and see if you can figure out the primitive elements on your own....On the left is the water—that much is easy. On the right we have only one primitive, the kanji for morning. See how an apparently complex kanji falls apart neatly into manageable pieces? 潮 source With the advice of the last frame in mind, it is easy to see water and meadow in this character for source. Both in its etymology (it has a common parent with the word “surge”) and in popular usage, source suggests the place water comes from. In this kanji, it is under the meadow, where we just saw it breaking the surface in those bubbly little springs. [13] 源 lively When we speak of a lively personality or a lively party, we immediately think of a lot of chatter. This kanji depicts the idea of lively by having tongues babble and splash around like flowing water. [9] 活 extinguish Among the many things water is useful for is extinguishing fires. First of all, take the water at the left as the drops of water that are used to depict water in general. In the best of all possible worlds, the most efficient way to extinguish a fire would be to see that each drop of water hits one spark of the conflagration. An unthinkable bit of utopian fire fighting, you say to yourself, but helpful for assigning this key word its primitives. [10] 消 but of course This key word is a connector used to link contrasting phrases and sentences together with much the same flavor as the English phrase but of course. Just picture yourself ready to go off on your first date as a teenager, and having your mother grill you about your manners and ask you embarrassing questions about your hygiene. “Did you have a good shower?” “But of course...,” you reply, annoyed. So water and teenager combine to give us but of course. [8] 況 river The character in this frame represents a step up from the stream we met; it is a full-sized river. The water to the left tells us what we are dealing with, and the can at the right tells us that our “little engine that could” has now become amphibious and is chugging down the Mighty Mississip’ like a regular riverboat. [8] 河 overnight When you stop at an inn for an overnight rest, all you expect is a bit of 'water' for a wash and a set of clean 'white' sheets to wrap your weary bones in. [8] 泊 lake Water...old...flesh. You have heard of legends of people being abandoned in the mountains when they had become too old to work. Well, here is a legend about people being set adrift in the waters of a stormy lake because their flesh had gotten too old to bear the burdens of life. [12] 湖 fathom Connoting the measurement of the depth of water, the key word fathom begins with the water primitive. To its right, we see the compound-primitive for rule which we learned in the sense of a “ruler” or “measure.” Hence, when we rule water we fathom it. What could be simpler? But be careful; its simplicity is deceptive. Be sure to picture yourself fathoming a body of water several hundred feet deep by using a ruler of gargantuan proportions. [12] 測 soil I don’t like it any more than you do, but this kanji is not the pictograph it is trumped up to be: a mound of soil piled on the ground. All I can recommend is that you memorize it as it is. Anyway, it will be occurring with such frequency that you have almost no chance of forgetting it, even if you try. [3] 土 As a primitive, the sense of soil is extended to that of ground because of its connection with the kanji for the same (frame 515). From there it also takes the added meanings of dirt and land. spit We have here a rather small mouth (it is always compressed when set on the left) next to a much larger piece of dirt. It is not hard to imagine what you might do if you got a mouth full of dirt. As least I know what I would do: spit it out as fast and far as I could! [6] 吐 pressure One of the things that causes the erosion of soil is the excessive pressure of the topsoil on the lower soil. This can be caused by any number of things from heavy rainfall to heavy buildings to the absence of sufficient deep-rooted vegetation to hold the layers together. Here we see a steep cliff without a tree in sight. The slightest pressure on it will cause a landslide, which you can almost see happening in this character. [5] 圧 cape The cape pictured here is a jut of land like Cape Cod. The 'soil' on the left tells us we have to do with land, and the 'strange' on the right tells us it is a cape where unusual things go on. Put a haunted house on it, an eerie sky overhead, and a howling wind rustling through the trees, and you have yourself a picture of Cape Strange (or, if you prefer, Cape Odd). [11] 埼 hedge The hedge depicted in this frame is the miraculous hedge of briar roses that completely 'spanned' the castle grounds in which Sleeping Beauty lay for a hundred years, so that none but her predestined beloved could find his way through it. [9] 垣 squared jewel The kanji key word, square jewel, depicts a mammoth precious stone, several feet high, made by piling up large heaps of soil on top of one another. Not something you would want to present your betrothed on your wedding day, but a good image for remembering this rare character, used chiefy in personal names nowadays. [6] 圭 As a primitive, we shall use this character to mean ivy, that creepy vegetation that covers the surface of the 'ground' to form a sort of “second” 'ground' that can get somewhat tricky to walk on without tripping. seal Think of the key word seal as referring to a letter you have written and are preparing to close. Instead of using the traditional wax seal, you 'glue' a sprig of 'ivy' on the outside. In this way the elements 'ivy' and 'glue' give you a curious and memorable way to seal your secret letters. [9] 封 horizon After seeing a constant horizon of water, water everywhere for months at sea, could there be anything more delightful to the eyes than to look astern and see the ivy-clad cliffs of land on a new horizon? Of course, you’d need the eyes of a stellar telescope to recognize that the vegetation was in fact ivy, but the phrase “ivy-clad cliffs” has such a nice ring to it that we won’t worry about such details. [11] 涯 buddhist temple You have heard of people “attaching” themselves to a particular sect? Here is your chance to take that metaphor literally and imagine some fellow walking into a Buddhist temple with a fervent resolve to attach himself to the place. Since there is plenty of unused 'land' laround the precincts, he simply picks out a suitable patch, brushes the soles of his feet with 'glue', steps down firmly, and so joins the Buddhist temple as a “permanent member.” [6] 寺 time “What is time?” asked St. Augustine in his memoirs. “Ask me not, and I know. Ask me, and I cannot tell you.” Here we have the kanji’s answer to that perennial riddle. Time is a 'sun' rising over a 'Buddhist temple'. It sounds almost like a Zen kõan whose repetition might yield some deep secret to the initiated. At any rate, imagining a monk seated in meditation pondering it might help us remember the character. [10] 時 level The level this key word refers to is not the carpenter’s tool but rather the even surface of a thing. It pictures soil being scooped up into a ladle and then made level (apparently because one is measuring soil). The excess drops of soil are brushed off the top, which accounts for the added drop at the ladle’s edge. [7] 均 fire Just as sitting before a fire enlivens the imagination and lets you see almost anything you want to in the flames, this kanji is so simple it lets you see any sort of fire you want. It no longer makes a good pictograph, but I invite you to play with the form—first writing it as shown below and then adding lines here and there—to see what you can come up with. Everything from matchbooks to cigarette lighters to volcanic eruptions to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah have been found here. [4] 火 It is best to keep to the meaning of a fireplace (or hearth) or a raging conflagration like a forest fire for this kanji’s primitive meaning. Another primitive element for fire will mean flames, cauldron, cooking fire, or an oven fire. inflammation A fire belongs in the hearth, not over it. When the fire spreads to the rest of the house, we have an inflamed house. And as with any inflammation—including those that attack our bodies—the danger is always that it might spread if not checked. This is the sense behind the reduplication of the kanji for fire. [8] 炎 anxiety The existential condition of anxiety that arises from the inevitable frustration of our worldly passions is contained in this character. The 'head' is set 'afire', causing deep torment of spirit (and a whopper of a headache). [13] 煩 thin The primitives in this kanji read: water...inflammation. Taking inflammation in its medical sense, the first water-related inflammation that pops into mind is dehydration, the principal symptom of which is that it makes one shrivel up and look very, very thin. If that is hard to remember, try thinking it backwards: a very thin chap passes by and you imagine him suffering from (being inflamed with) dehydration (hence the element for water). [11] 淡 lamp Since it is very hard to read by the fireplace without going blind from the flickering of the flames or burning up from the heat, our ancestors invented a way to 'nail' down a bit of that 'fire', just enough to light up the text of their evening newspapers and no more. Voilà! The lamp. [6] 灯 farm Looking at the primitives, a fireplace and a rice field, we find the essential ingredients for a farm: a warm hearth to sit by at night, and a well-plowed field to grow one’s crops in by day. [9] 畑 disaster Of all of nature’s disasters, this kanji picks out two of the worst: floods and fires. To recall the disposition of the elements, think of nature’s solution to nature’s own problem: a great flood pouring down over a great forest fire. [7] 災 ashes The kanji for ashes naturally includes the primitive for fire, or more specifically, a fireplace. Now what do you do with that bucket of ashes you have just cleaned out of the fireplace? You walk to the edge of a cliff and tip it upside down, watching as they are swept away in the wind like a swarm of gray mosquitoes. Thus the fire, once it has turned to ashes, ends up at the bottom of the cliff. [6] 灰 spot If you look into the flickering of a fire for a long time and then turn aside, you will see spots before your eyes. Although nobody ever thought of such a thing before—as least as far as I know, they didn’t—imagine using those spots as a technique for fortune-telling. The old witch sits before her cauldron and watches the spots that show up when she turns to look at you, and from that tells your fortune. [9] 点 illuminate Although the range of possible meanings that the kanji for illuminate can have is about as rich as the connotations of the English word, we need to focus on just one of them: to make something shine. If you glaze a pot and put it into the oven to fire it, you in fact illuminate it. Hence the kanji for illuminate compares the kanji for shining with the primitive element for the oven’s fire. [13] 照 fish The composition of this kanji shows three elements, which we list in the order of their writing: bound up...rice field...cooking gire. We can join them together by thinking of a three-part story: first a fish is caught and bound up on a line with its unfortunate school-mates; when the fisherman gets home, he cuts off the head and tosses it, with the entrails, out into the rice fields for fertilizer; and the rest he sets in a skillet over a cooking fire for his supper. [11] 魚 fishing To the story we have just made about fish, this kanji for the profession of fishing adds yet another element before the others: namely the water, where the fish was happily at home before being caught, disemboweled, and eaten. [14] 漁 ri it’s a Japanese word for measuring distances. One ri is about 4 kilometers or 2.5 miles. The kanji depicts how the measure came to be used. Atop we see the rice field, and below the element for land. Those four sections you see in the rice field are actually measurements of land, much the same as farm-sections in the United States have given us the notion of a “country mile.” The land division based on the size of a rice field is called a ri. [7] 里 To get a more concrete primitive meaning for this kanji, we shall refer to it as a computer, a meaning deriving from the kanji for logic, which we will meet in Lesson 12. black Like most things electrical, a computer, too, can overheat. Just imagine flames pouring out of it and charring the keyboard, the monitor, and your desk a sooty black color. [11] 黒 black ink Besides meaning black ink, this kanji also appears in the word for an inked string that is pulled taut and snapped to mark a surface, much the same as one might used a chalked string. Here it is used to mark off the dirt with black lines for a football game (played, I presume, on a white field). [14] 墨 carp These are the same carp you see in Japan’s famous carp streamers. Only here we find a small home computer or two strung on the line by a father anxious for his son not only to have the courage and determination of a carp swimming upstream, but also the efficiency and memory of a 'computer'. Ugh. [18] 鯉 quantity Think of quantity as having to do with measuring time and distance, and the rest is simple: you have a quantity of time in the new day that begins with 'nightbreak', and a quantity of distance in the rural 'ri'. [12] 量 rin One rin is equal to about 1/1000 of a yen—or rather was worth that much when it still made economic sense to mint them. While inflation took its toll on this kanji as a monetary unit, it survived the meaning of something “very, very tiny.”|The kanji shows a cliff with a computer under it, apparently because it has been pushed over into the abyss by someone fed up with the thing. The total market value of one home computer that has fallen for several hundred feet: about one rin! [9] 厘 bury When we speak of burying something (or someone, for that matter), we usually mean putting them under ground. Only here, we are burying our beloved computer that has served us so well these past years. Behind us a choir chants the “Dies irae, dies illa” and there is much wailing and grief among the bystanders as they pass by to shovel a little dirt into what will be its final resting place. R.I.P. [10] 埋 same The primitives show us one and mouth under a hood. Let us take the key word to connote the sameness that characterizes the life in community of the monk. They all have the same habits, including the “habit” they wear on their backs. Here we see the monk’s cowl, drawn down over the eyes so that all you can see is a mouth. But since monks also speak their prayers in common, it is but a short step to think of one mouth under a hood as the kanji for the sameness of monastic life. [6] 同 As a primitive, this will mean monks dressed in a common habit. den The key word den refers to an animal lair hollowed out in the side of a mountain. Now if we keep to the image of the monastic life as an image for same, we can picture a den of wild beasts dressed up in habits and living the common life in a mountain cavern. To bring in the element of water we need only give them a sacred “puddle” in the center of their den, the focus of all their pious attentions. [9] 洞 trunk The word trunk refers to the 'part of the body' that is left when you have “truncated” all the limbs. I can hardly think of any reason for doing so, unless one were lumberjacking corpses and needed to have them all properly pruned and made the 'same' so they could be floated downstream without causing a body-jam. [10] 胴 yonder Something referred to as “over yonder” is usually far off in the distance and barely within sight—like a wee drop in the distance—and is usually an expression used in giving directions or pointing something out. Then we find a sort of transparent helmet with no eyes or nose, but only a prominent mouth under it, obviously an extraterrestrial. And what is it jabbering on about with its mouth open like that? Why, about his spaceship way over yonder with its fuel tank on empty. [6] 向 esteem Above we see the primitive for 'little' attached to one of those 'glass canopies' you might use to display a family heirloom. The littleness is important, because what is in fact on display is the shrunken, stuffed, and mounted 'mouth' of an esteemed ancestor. We may be used to esteeming the words our forebears leave behind, but here we also esteem the very mouth that spoke them. I leave it to you to imagine a suitable place in your room for displaying such an unusual conversation piece. [8] 尚 character Here is the character for character itself. Not just kanji, but any written character from hieroglyphs to Sanskrit to our own Roman alphabet. It shows us simply a child in a house. But let us take advantage of the double-meaning of the key word to note that just as a child born to a Japanese house is given characters for its name, so it is also stamped with the character of those who raise it from infancy on. [6] 字 guard The notion of guarding something easily brings to mind the image of someone standing guard, like the royal soldiers in front of Buckingham Palace or the Pope’s Swiss Guard. The whole idea of hiring guards is that they should stick like 'glue' to your 'house' to protect it from unwanted prowlers. So go ahead and glue a guard to your house in imagination. [6] 守 perfect In order not to confuse the key word perfect with others nearly synonymous in meaning, pull it apart to have a look at its native Latin roots. Per-factum suggests something so “thoroughly made or done” that nothing more needs to be added to it. Now look at the kanji, which does something similar. We see a 'house' that has been made perfectly from its 'beginnings' in the foundation to the roof on the top. [7] 完 proclaim Under the primitive for house we meet the kanji for span. Think of the key word in its religious sense of missionary preaching: “proclaiming the good news to all nations” and “shouting it from the housetops.” That should be enough to help you remember this simple kanji, used in fact both for advertising and missionary work. [9] 宣 wee hours As the key word hints, the kanji in this frame refers to the late evening or early morning hours, well after one should be in bed asleep. It does this by picturing a house with a candle in it. The reason is obvious: whoever is living there is “burning the candle at both ends,” and working night after night into the wee hours. [10] 宵 relax To be told that the place of the 'woman' is in the 'house' may not sit well with modern thought, but like all cultural habits the Chinese characters bear the birthmarks of their age. So indulge yourself in a Norman Rockwell image of relaxing after a hard day’s work: the scruffy and weary woman of the house slouched asleep in the living room chair, her hair in curlers and a duster lying in her lap. [6] 安 banquet To carry on from the last frame, we note the entire 'day' of work that comes between a 'woman' and her 'house' in preparing for a dinner banquet, pictorially “interrupting” her relaxation. [10] 宴 draw near Let the idea of drawing near suggest something dangerous or eerie that one approaches with fear and trembling. Here we see a 'strange house'—perhaps the haunted House of Usher that Edgar Allen Poe immortalized, or the enchanted Gingerbread House that lured Hansel and Gretel to draw near. [11] 寄 wealth Here we have the original character on which the primitive element for wealth is based. In keeping with the story introduced back then, note how all the wealth is kept under the roof of the same 'house'. [12] 富 savings To avoid confusing this frame with the last one, try to think of savings as actual money. The only difference is that our currency is not paper bills but 'shells', a not uncommon unit of exchange in older civilizations. The 'nail' under the roof of the 'house' points to a hiding place in the rafters on which one strings up one’s shells for safekeeping. [12] 貯 tree Here we see a pictograph of a tree, showing the main trunk in the long vertical stroke and the boughs in the long horizontal stroke. The final two strokes sweep down in both directions to indicate the roots. Although it may look similar at first sight to the kanji for water, the order in which it is written is completely different and this affects its final appearance. [4] 木 As a primitive, this kanji can be used to mean tree or wood. In those cases where the last two strokes are detached from the trunk, we shall change its meaning to pole, or wooden pole. grove Learn this frame in connection with the next one. A grove is a small cluster of trees. Hence the simple reduplication of the kanji for tree gives us the grove. [8] 林 forest A forest is a large expanse of trees, or “trees, trees everywhere,” to adopt the expression we used back in frames 22 and 23. [12] 森 Japanese Judas Tree Unless you are a botanist, you are not likely to know what a Japanese Judas-tree looks like, and probably never even heard of it before, but the name is sufficiently odd to make remembering it easy. Using the primitives as our guide, we define it as a tree with ivy growing down its branches in the shape of a hangman’s rope. [10] 桂 oak This kanji calls to mind the famous myth of the “golden bough.” As you may recall, what made the sacred oak in the forest of Diana the Huntress outside of Rome “golden” were the white berries of the mistletoe that grew in the branches of the tree, presumably appearing yellow when the light of the sun shone through them.[9] 柏 frame You might think of the frame this character refers to as the sort of frame we have created by drawing a dark line around this kanji and its explanation. Then think of that line as made of very thin 'wood'; and finally note how each time the line bends it forms a 90° angle, thus giving us the 'nine' and the 'ten'. [8] 枠 treetops As the days grow shorter and shorter, or so the northern European myth goes, the fear grows that the sun will take its leave of us altogether, abandoning the world to total darkness. Fixing 'candles' to the branches of evergreen 'trees', it was believed, would lure the sun back. [11] 梢 shelf One often thinks of books as “good 'companions',” but here it is the shelf we store them on that is the companion. The reasons should be obvious: it is made of the same stuff, 'wood', and spends a lot more time with them than we do! Here again, be careful not to let the rationality of the explanation get in the way before you turn it into a proper story. [12] 棚 apricot Since apricots can be eaten just as they fall from the trees, picture this mouth agape at the bottom of a tree (just as the elements have it), waiting for apricots to fall into it. [7] 杏 paulownia Since you probably don’t know what a paulownia tree is, we shall let the key word suggest the phrase “the Little Brothers of St. Paulownia” and it is a short step to associate the 'tree' with the 'monks' to its right. (For the curious, the name of this oriental tree really comes from a Russian princess, Anna Pavlovna.) [10] 桐 plant You have no doubt seen how people practicing the Japanese art of bonsai take those helpless little saplings and twist them into crippled dwarves before they have a chance to grow up as they should. The more proper way to plant a young 'tree' and give it a fair shake in life is to set it into the earth in such a way that it can grow up 'straight'. [12] 植 wither What makes a tree begin to wither up, and perhaps even die, is a kind of arteriosclerosis that keeps its sap from flowing freely. Usually this is due to simple old age, as this character shows us. Be sure to picture a wrinkled 'old tree', withering away in a retirement center so that the commonsense explanation does not take over. [9] 枯 crude As all magicians who have passed their apprenticeship know, one makes one’s 'wand' out of a hazel branch and is careful not to alter the natural form of the 'wood'. For the magic of the wand derives its power from its association with the hidden laws of nature, and needs therefore to be kept in its crude, natural state. [6] 朴 town The character for village was associated with rice fields. That for town, a step up on the evolutionary path to cities, shows a circle of 'trees glued' together to measure off the confines of a town. [7] 村 inter- The prefix inter- stirs up associations of cooperation among people. From there we read off the elements: tree...eye. Those two words call to mind the scriptural proverb about first taking the tree out of one’s own eye before helping your neighbors with the splinter in theirs. What more useful rule for interhuman relationships, and what more useful tool for remembering this kanji! [9] 相 desk We need to fix imagination here on two things to learn the kanji for desk: the wonderful rough 'wood' of which it has been hewn and the 'wind' that blows across it, sending your papers flying all over the room. These two elements, written in that order, dictate how to write the character. [6] 机 book Recalling that books are made of paper, and paper made of trees, one might think of a book as a slice of a tree. Can you see the “cross-cut” in the trunk of the tree? Picture it as a chainsaw cutting you out a few books with which to start your own private library. [5] 本 tag The tags you see hanging on 'trees' in public places in Japan are helpful to identify what sort of trees they are. Next time you see one, imagine the bit of wire that fixes the tag to the branch as a large 'fishhook'. really imagine it, illogical as it is, and you will never have trouble with this kanji again. [5] 札 calendar Look at this character in reverse order. First: days, an appropriate enough way to begin a calendar. Next: grove of trees growing under a cliff. Due to nature, the trees would be stunted under such conditions, unless they were strong enough to keep growing upwards until they passed through the layers of rock and soil. Now imagine that in those little boxes marking off the days on your wall calendar, you see that process taking place: 365 time-lapse pictures of that grove of trees each month. [14] 暦 plan Without much effort, the elements relax...tree suggest a hammock strung between two trees in your backyard, and you stretched out in it, hands folded behind your head, planning something or other. After all, it’s something we all do from time to time: kick up our legs on the nearest piece of furniture and daydream about the best plan of action to take. Only here be sure to relate the relaxation to the tree, so that you don’t end up with something else in its place. [10] 案 parch When paper took over, a method was devised to make artificial parchment from wood pulp. The fire at the left and in the “strong” position serves to remind us of the root word, “parch,” since nothing dries, puckers, wrinkles, and scorches quite like fire. And here is how we put it all together. Take a sheet of paper (a “wood-good,”), wet it, and hold it over a hearth in your mind’s eye. Now watch as it parches the paper, leaving it with a strange and bumpy surface. [17] 燥 not yet As the key word suggests, this kanji has to do with something not quite over and done with. More concretely, it shows us a tree that is not yet fully grown. The extra short stroke in the upper branches shows new branches spreading out, leaving one with the feeling that the tree has a ways to go yet before it reaches maturity. In other words, the kanji conveys its meaning pictographically, playing on the earlier pictograph of the tree. [5] 未 extremity This character is best learned in connection with that of the previous frame. The first stroke shows a branch that is longer than the main branch, indicating that the tree has reached the extremity of its growth, so that its branches stop spreading and start drooping downwards. Be sure to keep this imagery in mind, to avoid confusing this key word with synonyms that will appear later. [5] 末 splash The splash this kanji refers to is the dash of 'water' against the rocks, with all the foam and spray that this creates. If you think of a splash in this sense as a wave that has run its full course and reached its 'extremity', namely the seashore, and if you think of it pictorially in your mind’s eye, this somewhat rare (but oh-so-easy-to-learn) kanji is yours for good. [8] 沫 flavor When a tree has 'not yet' finished growing, it produces fruit with a full flavor. When the official taster (the professional 'mouth' to the left) determines that full flavor has been reached, the tree is pruned back so that it remains permanently not yet grown. A neat little agricultural trick and an easy to way see the sense of flavor hidden in this character. [8] 味 younger sister The younger sister in the family is the woman in the family who, like the newest branch in a tree, is not yet old enough or mature enough to do everything the elder sister can do. [8] 妹 vermillion That red-orange color we call vermilion is found in nature during the fall when the leaves lose their sugar and begin to change color. This kanji depicts the very last leaf on a tree in the fall (the 'drop' hung in the first stroke), the leaf that has 'not yet' fallen as it one day must. Look at its color—vermilion. (Well, not really. The truth is, vermilion is made from a mercuric sulfide, but I’m sure you will agree that autumn leaves are a lot easier to work with.) [6] 朱 stocks The stocks bought and sold on the market by the tens of millions each day get their name from a comparison to a healthy tree, in which one takes “stock” in the hopes that it will grow and produce more and more 'trees' like itself. Usually good stocks are referred to as “blue chip,” but here we are asked to associate the key word with the color 'vermilion', perhaps because one can assess the value of a tree from the color of its autumn leaves. [10] 株 young Here we see a 'flower' held in the 'right hand'. You can imagine yourself in a magic garden where flowers picked with the right hand grant eternal youth; and those picked with the left, premature senility. Go ahead, pick one with each hand and watch what happens. [8] 若 grass Perhaps you know the custom of seeding grass randomly or in some particular pattern with the 'flower' called the crocus, which blooms for a few days each year in 'early' spring. As the grass begins to turn green again after winter has passed, these tiny flowers dot up here and there. Now just look out your window at a patch of grass somewhere and think what a nice idea it would be to have your name spelled out in flowers once as a sort of early harbinger of spring. [9] 草 suffering The picture of suffering we are given here is that of a 'flower' that has grown 'old'. When a flower ages, it pales and dries up, and probably even suffers. If you think that plants are incapable of such feelings, then ask yourself why so many people believe that talking to their flowers helps them bloom better. [8] 苦 tolerant The 'house' of 'flowers' or “hothouse” has become a metaphor for a narrow-minded, biased, and intolerant attitude distrustful of change. Tolerance, in contrast, is open-minded and welcomes novelty. The way to encourage tolerance in those who lack it is first to have them 'see' through their own hothouse attitudes, which is the very counsel we are given in this kanji. [13] 寛 dilute Take a good look at this kanji: the “strong” element here is really the 'flower', not the 'water' as you might have thought on first glance. To the right is the acupuncturist. Taking the key word to connote diluting the vital humors of the body, we can imagine our acupuncturist performing his task with flowers in place of needles, and using their hollow stems to pipe water into the body of the patient. [16] 薄 leaf Three elements are given here: flower...generation...tree. The first and last seem logical enough, since it is the leaf that feeds the flowers on a tree. The element for generation interposed between the two suggests that the movement of a tree from one generation to the next is like its “turning over a new leaf.” [12] 葉 imitation If I find out this furniture you're selling me is made of imitation wood, I'll put you in the graveyard. [14] 模 vague The water in the graveyard has worn away the headstones, so the writing is vague.[13] 漠 grave The mounds of soil with crude wooden crosses set at their head suggests those boot-hill graves we all know from cowboy lore. The only odd thing about this kanji is that the 'soil' comes under the 'graveyard', rather than to its left, where we might expect. Just think of the bodies as “lying under boot-hill” if you have any trouble. 墓 livelihood Imagine that you have chosen the occupation of the keeper of a 'graveyard' and spend your 'days' tending to other’s deadhood in order to make your means of livelihood. [14] 暮 membrane The part of the 'body' first affected by a stroll through a haunted 'graveyard' is the skin, which gets goose bumps. But we save the word “skin” for another kanji, and use the odd word “membrane” here. Think of being so scared through and through that the goose flesh moves from the outside in, giving you goose membranes. [14] 膜 seedling To avoid confusion with the image of rice seedlings to appear later, we shall take these seedlings out of their agricultural setting in the 'rice fields' and into the frame of Brave New World surgery, where “ideas” or “values” are being implanted into 'brains' like seedlings to insure a harmonious society. Then you need only imagine them taking root and breaking out into flower right through the tops of the skulls of people walking around on the streets. [8] 苗 portent Here we have a pictograph of the back of a turtle, the two sloping vertical strokes representing the central ridge and the four short strokes the pattern. Think of reading turtle shells as a way to foretell the future, and in particular things that portend coming evils. [6] 兆 When this character is used as a primitive in its full form, we keep the key-word sense of a portent. When it appears to the left in its abbreviated form (namely, the left half only), we shall give it the pictographic sense of a turtle. peach tree To associate the peach tree with the primitive for a portent, recall the famous Japanese legend of Momotarõ, the Peach Boy. It begins once upon a time with a fisherman and his wife. Then one day the old man caught a giant peach, out of which jumped a healthy young lad whom they named Peach Boy. Though the boy was destined to perform heroic deeds, his birth also portended great misfortune. Thus the 'tree' that is associated with a 'portent' of coming evil comes to be the peach tree. [10] 桃 stare To give someone the “evil eye” is to stare at them, wishing them evil. The roots of the superstition are old and almost universal throughout the cultures of the world. In this kanji, too, being stared at is depicted as an 'eye' that 'portends' evil. [11] 眺 dog We have already learned that the character for large takes on the meaning of the St. Bernard dog when used as a primitive. In this frame we finally see why. The drop added as a fourth and final stroke means that we have to do with a normal-sized dog, which compared to the St. Bernard is no more than a drop in the kennel. [4] 犬 As a primitive this character can take two meanings. In the form given here it will mean a very small dog (which we shall refer to as a chihuahua). When it takes the form to the left of a character, we shall give it the meaning of a pack of wild dogs. status quo It was left to the turtle to make right with the dog and thus maintain the status quo. [7] 状 silence The computer won't stop beeping, which is making the chihauhua bark, and it's driving this guy insane. The only solution he can come up with is to throw them both on the fire and finally enjoy the silence. 黙 sort of thing Flesh of a dog over a cooking fire = "hotdog". There are all sorts of things in hot dogs. Believe me, you don't want to know what sort of things . Visualize the hotdog curling as it cooks, to remember the unusual way the flesh primitive curves in this kanji. (tweaked version of ziggr's. Thanks!). [12] 然 reed You’ve no doubt seen cattails, those swamp reeds with a furry 'flower' to them like the tail of a cat. This might just turn out to be a good way to get rid of a troublesome 'pack of wild dogs': lure them into a swamp of these reeds with the cattail flowers and then set 'fire' to the swamp. Take care to focus on the flower rather than the “cattail” to avoid confusion with hunt. [10] 荻 hunt One of the worst problems you have to face when you go hunting is to 'guard' your take from the 'wild dogs'. If you imagine yourself failing at the task, you will probably have a stronger image than if you try to picture yourself succeeding. [9] 狩 cat Knowing how much dogs love to chase cats, picture a pack of wild dogs planting “cat-seedlings,” watering them, and fertilizing them until they can be harvested as a crop of cats for them to chase and torment. If you begin from the key word and think of a “crop of cats,” you will not confuse this story with the apparently similar story of two frames ago. [11] 猫 cow Why not see this kanji as a “doodle” showing a cow that has just been run over by a steamroller. The small dot in the first stroke shows its head turned to one side, and the next two strokes, the four legs. [4] 牛 As a primitive, the same sense of cow is kept. Note only that when it is placed over another element, its tail is cut off special Cows at a Buddhist temple are special - they are holy cows! Sadly a few days later I find the same cows' meat on special at the supermarket. Holy Cow, what have we done!? 特 revelation Folklore throughout the world tells us of talking animals who show a wisdom superior to that of human beings, and that same tradition has found its way into television shows and cartoons right into our own century. This character depicts revelation through the mouth of a cow, suggesting oracular utterances about truths hidden to human intelligence. [7] 告 before Before pigs can fly, cows will have human legs. [6] 先 wash This character is so logical that one is tempted to let the elements speak for themselves: water...before. But we have already decided we shall not do that, not even once. So let us change the character from the Peanuts comic strip called “Pig-pen,” who is always preceded by a little cloud of dust and grime, and rename him “Wash-Out.” Everywhere he walks, a spray of water goes before him to sanitize everything he touches. [9] 洗 jammed in The idea of something getting jammed into something else is depicted here by having a walking stick get jammed into an umbrella frame by someone shoving it into an already occupied slot in the umbrella stand. Notice the vertical strokes: on the left is the curved umbrella handle, and on the right the straight walking stick. Now try to imagine the two parties tugging at their respective properties like two kids on a wishbone, creating a scene at the entrance of an elegant restaurant. [4] 介 world As the world gets 'jammed' with more and more people, there is less and less space. Imagine yourself taking an air flight over a world so densely populated that every bit of it is sectioned off like a gigantic checkerboard (the 'rice fields'). If you look closely at the character, you should be able to see a kind of movement taking place as still more is being jammed into that already narrow space. [9] 界 tea Some people think drinking tea is boring and quaint. That's why I spice mine up by adding a cocktail umbrella, which of course is made from a wood-en toothpick supporting a paper umbrella with flowers printed on top. [9] 茶 fit The kanji for fit reads literally, top to bottom, as a meeting of mouths—which is a rather descriptive way of speaking of a romantic kiss. We know what happens when there is no meeting of minds and when people’s ideas don’t fit, but try to imagine what would happen to a poor couple whose mouths didn’t fit. [6] 合 pagoda On the left we see a mound of dirt, and to the right flowers made to fit together. The two sides combine to create a great pagoda made of dirt, with flowers by the tens of thousands fitted together for the roofing of each of the layers. Be sure to put yourself in the scene and fit a few of the flowers in place yourself so that the image works its way into memory with full force. [12] 塔 king See what you can do to come up with a pictograph of a king’s scepter here that suits your own idea of what it should look like. You might even begin with the basic element for I beam and then try to fit the remaining third stroke in. [4] 王 As a primitive, this can mean either king or scepter, but it will usually be taken as an abbreviation of the character in the next frame (jewel). jewel Note the drop here in the king’s scepter, which is exactly what you would expect it to be: a precious jewel handed down from of old as a symbol of his wealth and power. [5] 玉 As a primitive, we can use this to mean either jewel or ball. When it appears anywhere other than on the left side of a kanji, it takes the same shape as here. On the left, it will be lacking the final stroke, making it the same as 王. treasure Every 'house' has its treasure, as every thief knows only too well. While the things we treasure most are usually of sentimental value, we take the original sense of the term treasure here and make it refer to 'jewels' kept in one’s house. [8] 宝 pearl Take care to keep the meaning of this kanji distinct from that for jewel. Think of the most enormous pearl you have ever seen, a great 'vermilion'-colored 'ball' sitting on your ring—and making it extremely difficult to move without falling over from the weight of the thing. [10] 珠 present Do not think of a “gift” here, but of the present moment, as distinct from the future and the past. The kanji gives us a 'ball' in which we 'see' the present—obviously a crystal ball that enables us to see things going on at the present in faraway places. [11] 現 lunatic A lunatic is literally one driven mad by the light of the moon, and the most famous of the “looneys” are the legendary lycanthropes or “wolfmen.” Sometimes the transformation is only a temporary phenomenon, sometimes it is permanent. In the latter case, the poor chap takes off on all fours to live with the beasts. Imagine one of these lycanthropes going looney and setting himself up as 'king' of a 'pack of wild dogs' that roams about and terrorizes innocent suburban communities. [7] 狂 emperor An emperor, as we all know, is a ruler—something like a king but higher in status. The 'white' bird perched above the 'king', elevating him to imperial heights, is the messenger he sends back and forth to the gods to request advice and special favors, something that white birds have long done in folklore throughout the world. [9] 皇 display The trick to remembering this character lies in associating the key word with the line from the nursery rhyme about 4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie: “Wasn’t this a dainty dish to set before the king?” If we think of display in terms of that famous line, and the 'king' with his head thrown back and his 'mouth' wide open as 4 and 20 blackbirds fly in one after the other, we shall have satisfied both the elements and their position. [7] 呈 whole The fat 'king' hogs the whole space under his 'umbrella'. (tweaked version of radical tyro's story. "fat" makes a more vivid image for me.). [6] 全 plug The fat 'king' under his 'umbrella' offers useless advice to the workers. "You'll need the whole 'tree' to plug that gap". Imagine a grossly fat, incompetent king under a parasol giving annoying advice to sweating workers who know what they're doing. [10] 栓 logic We first referred to this character back in frame 173, to which you might want to return to have a peek. The image of logic we are given is something like a central 'jewel' in a 'computer', like the jewels in old clocks that keep them running smoothly. Try to picture yourself making your way through all the rams and roms and approaching this shining jewel, a chorus of voices and a blast of trumpets in the background heralding the great seat of all-knowing logic. [11] 理 lord “A man’s home is his castle,” goes the proverb from an age where it was the male who was lord of the household. Fundamentally, it means only that every person is a bit (or 'drop') of a 'king' in one’s own environment. If you take care to “read off” the primitives in this way, you won’t end up putting the drop down below, where it turns the kanji into a jewel. [5] 主 pour Visualize an idiot trying to figure out how to extinguish a candle. He sees a glass of 'water' and decides to pour it onto the 'candlestick' to put it out. Water spills everywhere. [8] 注 pillar The pillar referred to here is the 'wooden beam' that stands at the entrance to a traditional Japanese house. Carve it in imagination into the shape of a gigantic 'candlestick' and your work is done. [9] 柱 gold If this were not one of the most common characters you will ever have to write, I would apologize for having to give the explanation that follows. Anyway, we want to depict bars of gold bullion with an 'umbrella' overhead to shade them from the heat (and perhaps to hide them as well). The bullion is made by melting down all the 'scepters' of the kingdom, 'drop' by 'drop', and shaping them into bars. [8] 金 As a primitive, it means not only gold but any metal at all. pig iron Pig iron refers to iron in the crude form in which it emerges from the smelting furnaces. Of all the various forms metal can take, this one shows us 'metal' before it has been refined. Imagine two photographs labeled “'before'” and “after” to show the process. [14] 銑 bowl Let bowl suggest a large and heavy 'golden' bowl into which you　are throwing all the 'books' you own to mash them into pulp, for　some outrageous reason you will have to think up yourself. [13] 鉢 copper Picture an order of 'monks' serving as chaplains for the police force. Their special habit, made of protective 'metal', is distinguished by a row of copper buttons just like the “cops” they serve. [14] 銅 angling The character we learned for fishing refers to the professional, net-casting industry, while the angling of this character refers to the sport. The odd thing is that your angling rod is a 'golden ladle' which you are using to scoop goldfish out of a river. [11] 釣 needle In frame 10 we referred ahead to this full character from which the primitive for needle (on the right) derives. Since we already expect that needles are made of metal, let us picture a set of solid 'gold' darning 'needles' to complete the kanji. [10] 針 inscription Take inscription in the sense of the 'name' you ask the jeweler to carve on a gold bracelet or inside a 'gold' ring to identify its owner or communicate some sentimental message. It will help if you can recall the first time you had this done and the feelings you had at the time. [14] 銘 tranquilize The first lie-detector machines of the twentieth century worked by wiring pieces of 'metal' to the body to measure the amount of sweat produced when questions were asked. It was discovered that nervousness produced more sweat, indicating subconscious reactions when the 'truth' was getting too close for comfort. Nowadays, people can take drugs that tranquillize them in such a way as to neutralize the effect of the device, which is why other means have had to be developed. [18] 鎮 roadway The key word carries both the sense of a 'road' for transit and a way or method of doing something, but the former is better for forming an image. The primitives read: the neck of a road. Think of a crowded road-way where traffic has come to a standstill—what we commonly refer to as a “bottle'neck'.” [12] 道 guidance For guidance on the 'road-way', 'glue' a GPS unit to your car. [15] 導 crossing Take the first two strokes in the sense we gave them back in frame 10, as the pictograph of a 'cross', and set it on a 'road' to create a “crossing.” [5] 辻 swift In the Heisig version of Frogger, you can image 'ten' giant 'fish hooks' sweeping across the 'road', with our hapless hero 'froggy' forced to make a swift crossing or end up as fish bait. [6] 迅 create A 'cow' creates a 'road' by 'eating' all the grass on its path. [10] 造 urge When you have the urge to go to 'White' Castle, you know it's time to hit the 'road'. [8] 迫 escape When escaping from something or someone, one always feels as if one is not going fast enough, like a turtle on an expressway. (Since the turtle is on the road and not on the left, it can keep its full kanji shape as given in frame 235.) [9] 逃 environs Caution: this kanji doesn't mean environment; it means "environs; boundary; border; vicinity". To separate the environs, create the border by placing 'daggers' on the 'road'. [5] 辺 patrol The cops don't patrol anymore - they just 'flood' the 'road'. [6] 巡 car You may keep the whole range of connotations for this key word, car, provided it does not interfere with the pictograph. Look for the front and back wheels (the first and last horizontal strokes) and the seat in the carriage in the middle. As an exercise, try to isolate the primitives on your own and make a story out of them. [7] 車 Car, cart, wagon, and vehicle may all be used as primitive meanings. take along What you are meant to take along in this kanji are not things but people. The image of the 'car' on the 'road' should ground your image for picking up your friends to take them along to wherever you are going. [10] 連 rut Combine the primary and secondary meanings of this key word to form your story. Begin with the 'car' whose tires get caught in a rut and spin without going anywhere. Then go on to the 'baseball' team who can’t win a game because it has fallen into a rut of losing. [9] 軌 transport The 'car' is a cattle-car, used to transport animals for the 'butcher's meeting' - a convention on new butchering techniques. Hear the screams of the animals as it pulls up in front of the convention hall, where the butchers are waiting with their knives out front. [16] 輸 in front When I get 'horny' my 'flesh sword' sticks out in front of me. [9] 前 each Each and every one of us 'walks' and 'talks' differently. [6] 各 The sense of the proverb should help when using this kanji as a primitive; otherwise, reduce it to its original elements. But do not associate it in any way with the word “every,” which we shall meet later in another context. status "Ranger! I want you to go check the status of 'each tree'." "Errr, Each tree sir?" replies the ranger looking out over the vast forest. "That's Right, I want the status of each tree! Move out!". [10] 格 abbreviations 'Each field' has its own abbreviations (chemistry, philosophy, sports, etc.). Needless to say, the stronger primitive goes to the left, even though the story would read them off the other way around. [11] 略 guest When you are a guest in a courteous town, each household has its own way of welcoming you, and 'each' 'house' becomes your home. [9] 客 forehead Out of respect, you do not look straight into the eyes of your guest, but look at the top button of their collar. Here, however, you are told to look above the eyes to the forehead of your guest. [18] 額 summer In the summer, fatigued by the heat, your 'head' hangs down nearly as far as your 'walking' legs, or rather, your “dragging legs.” Note how the walking legs (instead of “animal legs”) are the only thing that distinguishes this character from that for page (frame 60). [10] 夏 dispose Both the stretching out of the 'walking legs' and the little bit of 'wind' tucked in on the right suggest using one’s legs to kick something out of the way, or dispose of it. [5] 処 twig Geppetto made 'walking legs' for his little Pinocchio from two twigs of a 'tree', giving him a set of “twiggy” shanks. [7] 条 fall When 'water' falls, it splats and splashes; when 'flower' petals fall, they float gently in the breeze. To 'each' thing its own way of falling. [12] 落 superfluous Picture a 'weather vane' beneath a regal 'crown', spinning round and round. It is not only superfluous but makes a perfect ass out of the one who wears it. [4] 冗 army The 'crowned vehicle' depicted here is a “chariot,” symbol of an army. [9] 軍 Used as a primitive this kanji means only chariot. radiance Take advantage of the first syllable of the key word to think of the 'ray' of light to the left. Now add the glittering 'chariot' that is emitting those rays and you have radiance. [15] 輝 carry Don’t confuse it with “take along” (287). In that one, there was a car so you could take along your friends once you found them on the 'road'. In this one, there is an 'army chariot' just to carry military supplies (sorry no room for you). [12] 運 crown By having the 'crown' pass from one age to the next, a people keeps itself 'glued' to its 'beginnings'. [9] 冠 dream To have a dream after going to bed is really the 'crown' to a perfect 'evening'. The 'flower' petals over the 'eyes' (instead of the “sand” that Westerners are used to finding there when they awake in the morning) only confirms the image of a pleasant dream suggested by the rest of this rather complex kanji. [13] 夢 pit A whirlwind begins to dig its way into the soil like a drill until it makes a deep pit. [7] 坑 tall Recalling an image from frame 183, first see the mouth under the extraterrestrial’s glass hood, and then the mouth under the top hat of one of his mates who has tried on the strange earthling’s headgear only to find that it makes him look much, much taller than everyone else. [10] 高 As a primitive, this character keeps its sense of tall and its position at the top of other primitives, but its writing is abbreviated to the frst 5 strokes. receive Tall children receive more attention. 'Tall children' grow up to make better wide receivers. Take your pick, depending on whether you prefer child psychology or American football. At any rate, be sure you have some particular tall child in mind, someone who really was outstanding and always attracting attention, because he or she will come in handy in the next two frames. [8] 享 cram school Cram schools are after-hours educational institutions where kids can do concentrated preparing for their coming entrance examinations or drill what they missed during regular class hours. The exception are the 'tall children' who are out on the school 'grounds' practicing sports, and the 'fat' ones who are out there burning off calories. So this character depicts those who do not go to the cram schools, rather than those who do. [14] 塾 mellow The 'tall' and 'fat' 'children' from the last frame are here cast into a cauldron over an 'oven flame' until they have sufficiently mellowed that they can return to the normal life of a student. [15] 熟 pavilion Think of all the pavilions at some World Expo you attended or followed in the media, and you will no doubt see rising up among them the towering 'tall crowned nail' (the crown being a revolving restaurant)—that architectural monstrosity that has become a symbol of science and technology at such events. [9] 亭 capital Think of some 'tall', domed capital building with swarms of 'little' folk gathered around its base, probably demonstrating for their government’s attention. [8] 京 refreshing Since few things are as refreshing on a warm day as a cool 'shower' (the water), here we picture a 'capital' building treating itself to one, and in full view of everyone. [11] 涼 scenery Scenery is depicted as a 'sun' rising over a 'capital', which is as close as some city dwellers get to natural scenery for years at a time! [12] 景 whale The whale swallows a whole school of fish, who turn their new abode into a proper little 'fish-capital'. [19] 鯨 cottage A 'lidded crock' with an 'umbrella' overhead gives us a mixture of the modern and the nostalgic in this design for a cottage. [8] 舎 circumference Look more closely at your 'lidded crock' and you will see little ruler marks along its bottom edge. This is so you can use it to calculate the circumference of your motorcycle 'helmet': just begin at a fixed point and turn the lidded crock around and around, keeping it flush against the side of the helmet, until you come back to your starting point. If you kept track of how many turns and part-turns your lidded crock made, you now know the circumference. [8] 周 As a primitive, this character can take the added significance of a lap. week Picture a 'circular road' with 7 markers on it, one for each day of the week. When you have walked one complete 'lap' on this road, you shall have completed one week. [11] 週 gentleman The shape of this kanji, slightly differing from that for soil by virtue of its shorter final stroke, hints at a broad-shouldered, slender-waisted warrior standing at attention. When feudalism collapsed, these warriors became Japan’s gentlemen. [3] 士 The primitive meaning reverts to the more colorful image of the samurai, Japan’s warrior class. good luck Here we see a 'samurai' standing on a street with an open 'mouth', which people walk up to and look down deep inside of for good luck. [6] 吉 As a primitive, we shall take this shape to mean an aerosol can, from the mouth and the very tightly-fitting lid (note how it differs here from the lidded crock). robust Robust is seen as a turtle turned samurai. [6] 壮 villa The villa pictured here is filled with exotic 'flowers' at every turn, and has a pair of 'turtle-samurai' standing before its gates. [9] 荘 sell A samurai, out of a job, is going door-to-door selling little windup crowns with human legs that run around on the floor looking like headless monarchs. [7] 売 study Imagine a 'schoolhouse' full of thousands of 'children' in a deadly trance studying japanese style...repetition. 学 memorize Imagine you had the ability to speed read like those people who claim they can read an entire book in like 10 minutes. Then everything you 'see' in the 'schoolhouse' can be memorized instantly - you'll never have to take notes again! 覚 flourish The 'trees' flourish in the 'classroom', a little too much perhaps, there's no room for the students any more. 栄 write Make sure you practice writing kanji with a 'brush' every day before the 'sun' goes down. 書 haven A 'brush' laying in dirty 'water' is a haven for bacteria. 津 breed When it is time to breed new cattle, the bull is usually willing but the 'cow' is often not. Thus the 'taskmaster' to the right forces the cow into a compromising position, so to speak, so that she and her mate can breed. [8] 牧 aggression The special 'craft' on which Hitler(taskmaster) relies is aggression. Without it, they never would have taken Poland, France, etc. 攻 failure If you end up in failure, you give money to the taskmaster to train you. 敗 a sheet of This 'taskmaster' is the bathroom nazi: he counts how many sheets of toilet paper and tissue you use, and then tells you what % of a 'tree' you just killed. 枚 happenstance Call it fate or providence or plain old Lady Luck, happenstance is the 'oldest taskmaster' we know. It nearly always has its way. [9] 故 awe The 'flowery phrases' of the 'schoolmaster' held the students in awe. 敬 say A pictogram of someone saying a four letter word from their 'mouth' after the censors have gotten a hold of it. 言 admonish To admonish is to enforce 'awe' by means of 'words'. 警 plot It took only the 'words' of 'ten' men to plot the downfall of Caesar. 計 prison he prison here depicts a 'pack of wild dogs' (the long-timers and hardened criminals) into which the poor little 'chihuahua' (first-offender) has been cast. The only thing he has to protect himself against the pack are his shrill and frightened 'words'. [14] 獄 revise Revise, revise and revise until you have all the 'words nailed' down. 訂 chastise I said some bad 'words' and my mom 'glued 'my mouth shut to chastise me. 討 instruction A 'stream' of 'words' (byte pairs) carries assembly instructions that are executed upon reception. 訓 imperial edict The imperial edict, spoken with the force of unquestionable law, is made up of 'words' intended to 'seduce' the masses—be it through fear or respect—to follow obediently. [12] 詔 packed 'words' of 'good luck' are packed into fortune cookies. 詰 tale That the words of the tongue should come to mean a tale is clear from the etymology: a tale is something “talked,” not something read from a book. [13] 話 recitation Listening to the 'words' in a recitation of Vogon poetry is worse than spending an 'eternity' in hell. 詠 poem poetic 'words' flow from the 'temple'. 詩 word May 'I say' a word about that? 語 read In the age of advertising, most 'words' we read are out to 'sell' some product or point of view. [14] 読 tune A complete tune is composed not only of a succession of notes but also of one 'lap' of the 'words' that go with it. [15] 調 discuss Think of an online discussion group where misunderstanding someone's words leads to flaming. An angry discussion = 'inflamed words'. 談 consent The 'words' of the 'young' do not have legal validity unless backed up by “parental consent.” [15] 諾 rebuke A PETA activist 'speaks' at a 'meeting' of 'butchers' to rebuke them. 諭 style Each Indian tribe 'crafts' their 'arrows' in a certain style.. 式 test In an essay test, you are judged on both your choice of 'words' and your writing 'style'. 試 II(two) We use the Roman numeral ii here to stress that this kanji is an older form of the kanji for two. Think of 'two' arrows in a 'quiver', standing up like the numeral ii. [6] 弐 range An astronaut lands back at the launch range, kisses the 'earth' beneath him with his 'mouth', then heads off to a 'fiesta' to celebrate a safe flight. 域 burglar After the 'fiesta', we found out that some burglar had stolen our 'money', probably breaking in with a lockpick 'needle'... 賊 plantation The plantation is where we get our Christmas 'trees'. We pick them out at 'Thanksgiving' to be sure we get a good one. 栽 load We loaded up our 'car' with leftovers from 'thanksgiving'. 載 overgrown The gay 'parade' looks astonishing, as if overgrown with 'flowers'. 茂 turn into The gay 'parade' turned into a problem when they started 'binding' up people in some sort of sick S&M demonstration. 成 castle A bit of 'soil' can be 'turned into' a castle with a plastic pail and a plastic spade. 城 sincerity The sure sign of sincerity is that one’s mere 'words' are 'turned into' deeds. [13] 誠 intimidate A 'march' of a million 'feminist dykes' would intimidate any man. 威 destroy 'Water' flows down to destroy the 'march' of 'fire.' 滅 dwindle When 'water' was tossed on the 'protestors' (a march of mouths), the numbers began to dwindle. 減 scaffold Japanese festival 'floats' are often so tall they need 'wood' scaffolds to be completed. 桟 coin Gold coins will not float. 銭 shallow If the 'water' isn't shallow, you better 'float'! 浅 stop If you find in the ground a 'walking stick' with a 'magic wand', STOP! Maybe it's some kind of macumba/black magic/voodoo bad thing. 止 Although the meaning of stop will be retained, we will return often to the pictographic meaning of footprint. walk When walking your pet, you must 'stop' a 'few' times along the way when nature calls. 歩 ford The new Ford Jesus. It can do everything except 'walk' on 'water'. 渉 repeatedly Notice a pidgeon how it 'walks'. Its 'head' bobs up and down repeatedly. 頻 agreement NASA and Armstrong made an agreement: They'd never tell anyone that no-one actually stepped 'foot' on the 'moon'. 肯 undertake Mary Poppins floated down with her 'umbrella' to undertake the job of 'stopping' the children's misbehaving. 企 curriculum A curriculum is a 'calendar' that replaces days with reasons to 'stop' having fun. 歴 warrior With a 'quiver' of arrows set on one’s back, the goal of the warrior depicted here is not to attack but merely to 'stop' the attack of others: the oldest excuse in history! [8] 武 levy A 'warrior' stands guard at a bridge collecting 'shells' as a levy for any who want to pass. 賦 correct If you do it correct on the 'first' attempt you can 'stop'. 正 evidence Your words must be absolutely correct if you plan to use them as evidence. 証 politics Those involved in politics are always trying to elect the 'correct taskmaster'. 政 determine 'mending' your 'house' will determine its market value. 定 lock Even if you lock up your 'gold', a 'determined' thief will get it in the end. 錠 run If you run around on the hard 'ground' too much, your shoes will need 'mending'. 走 transcend When one is 'running' after something, the goal that 'seduces' one is said to transcend the seeker. [12] 超 proceed "Don't 'run' into trouble," Dumbledore tells Harry. "Proceed with caution with your 'wand' out.". 赴 surpass The person in charge of 'running' the 'parade' surpassed all our expectations (by just a extra drop...). 越 just so It just so happens that 'sunshine' can 'mend' your gloomy spirits. 是 topic The topic 'heading' has to be 'just so', or it wont be clear. 題 dike The dike was very close to breaking. The people worked all 'day' bringing 'soil' to 'mend' it. 堤 build To construct a building, you first draw a set of plans (the writing 'brush') and then 's-t-r-e-t-c-h' your drawing out to scale in reality. [9] 建 prolong The inquisitor prolonged the torture because his victim didn't answer the question 'correctly'. He turned the wheel 'stretching' out his limbs even further. 延 nativity At Nativity (christmas), the priest says more 'Words' (sermon) than the rest of the time, 'Prolonging' mass duration. 誕 cornerstone Features like 'stones' and 'groves of trees' are the cornerstones of a happy 'zoo'. 礎 bridegroom Imagine a bridegroom having his wedding with his 'woman' in a 'zoo' on the 'moon'. That will impress her! 婿 garment The only garments allowed in this club are 'top hat' and 'scarf'. 衣 tailor You might think here of 'garment' that have been specially tailored for 'Thanksgiving' celebrations to look like traditional Pilgrim garb. [12] 裁 attire The 'turtle samurai' needs special 'garments' for his attire since his body is much more 'robust' than others. 装 back Can 'computers' be gay? I'm not sure, but mine always wears a 'top hat and scarf', and for some reason its back door port is always open... 裏 demolition If you stand too close to a demolition site, the dust might sting you like 'needles' in your 'eye' and get your 'garments' all 'dirty'. 壊 pathetic A drunken sod in a tattered 'top hat' and soiled silk 'scarf' with a giant 'mouth' guzzling something or other gives us a pathetic character. [9] 哀 distant Keep distant from a 'lidded crock' on the 'road' wrapped in a 'scarf'. It might be a bomb. 遠 monkey To catch a monkey, chase him with 'wild dogs' into a 'lidded crock', then tie it with a 'scarf'. 猿 first time "This is the first time we've been out of the Shire, Mr. Frodo!" Says Sam, covering himself with his 'cloak' and clutching his 'dagger'. 初 linen The maid, 'towels by her side', distributes the linen. [5] 布 sail When stranded at sea, we needed a Sail. The best we had was a 'towel', which was 'mediocre', only catching a 'drop' of 'wind'. 帆 hanging scroll In the west, the rich use $100 bills to light their cigars... In Japan, after showering, when the 'wealthy' don't have any clean 'towels', they simply grab a hanging scroll off the wall and use it to dry off! 幅 cap If you wear a 'towel' as a cap, you are at 'risk' of being seized and searched in U.S. airports. 帽 curtain There is a 'graveyard' outside my house that scares me, so I put a huge 'towel' over the window to serve as a curtain so I can get a good nights sleep. 幕 canopy A canopy is a 'towel' to block the 'suns rays'. 幌 brocade "Brocade" means 'twisted thread', and is usually made with gold and silver. Here it is written as a 'towel' woven with 'gold' and 'white'. 錦 market My recurring nightmare: Walking through the market, and suddenly realizing that I'm wearing only a 'top hat'...and a 'towel'. 市 elder sister Of all the 'women' of the family, it is the elder sister who has the duty to go to 'market' to do the shopping. [8] 姉 lungs One is surprised, strolling through the 'market', to find among the 'meats' hung out for sale a slab marked: lungs. [9] 肺 sash The buckle is on the sash of the 'apron'. 帯 stagnate History of the first karate blackbelts: In those days, it was often difficult to find fresh, clean 'water', so samurai usually had to wash their 'sashes' in stagnant puddles. The longer one had been studying martial arts, the older the sash on one's karate uniform and, therefore, the darker the color. 滞 thorn Thorns grow on a bush here that has wrapped itself around a 'tree' like a 'belt', cutting into the poor tree like little 'sabers'. [8] 刺 system The system for making leather 'belts' involves slicing up a 'cow' with a 'sword'. 制 made in... You find a curious toy: a 'cow' wearing a 'belt' and a 'saber', and also 'clothes' under them. You look at it wondering where it was made in. 製 revolve As the wheels of the 'car' revolve, they kick up small 'rising clouds' of dust and debris behind them. [11] 転 technique David Copperfield throws a bouquet of 'flowers' into the air, whereupon they turn into a rising 'cloud of smoke'. The audience gasps in admiration of his technique 芸 rain From the ceiling hangs a 'towel' dripping four 'drops' like rain. 雨 cloud Every 'rising cloud' is a potential 'rain' cloud. 雲 cloudy weather Cloudy weather is when a 'cloud' blocks the 'sun'. 曇 thunder If it's 'raining' and you're standing in the middle of a 'rice field', you're sure to soon become acquainted with the thunder up close and personal. 雷 frost The freezing 'rain' formed frost on the 'tree' right before your 'eyes'. 霜 winter 'Walking legs' slipping on the 'ice' are a sure sign of winter. [5] 冬 heavens This character is meant to be a pictograph of a great man, said to represent the Lord of the Heavens. 天 bridge There are no 'wooden' bridges up in heaven because 'angels' can just fly over them! 橋 attractive Associating a particularly attractive 'woman' you know with an 'angel' should be no problem. [15] 嬌 stand up He was a stand up guy: he'd lend you the 'top hat' he wears everyday if you asked, and he will turn everything upside down to help you find your 'tools'. 立 cry One cries and cries until one is 'standing' up knee-deep in 'water' (or until one has a vase-full of water). [8] 泣 badge In the military, badges are given out 'early' in the day, with everyone 'standing' at attention. 章 vie Two crazy 'brothers' vying for the guiness records books of stupidity by trying to 'stand' on their heads the longest. 競 sovereign The crazy sovereign 'stands' up from his throne, wearing nothing but a 'crown' and a 'towel'. That's why they try to keep him locked up in the castle away from the public. 帝 juvenile The juvenile 'stood' on top of his 'computer' and broke it. Noob. 童 pupil The 'juvenile' hacker stared at his monitor for so long in the dark that his 'eyes' no longer have pupils. 瞳 bell The 'metal' bell rings to call the 'juvenile' to class. 鐘 make a deal The 'standing' member at the top is a certain part of the body that all men have and it is approaching the 'hole' between 'two legs' (the 'hood') with extra marks to show they are fleshy - ie a womans legs. So this shows the oldest 'deal' of all time - prostitution. 商 legitimate wife When the legitimate wife finds her husband flirting with another 'woman', she'll take the valuable 'antique' Ming-vase and whacks him with it. 嫡 suitable That old thing in your attic might be suitable to be shown on the 'Antiques Roadshow'. 適 drip drips of 'water' were collected in 'antique vases' since the museum had a leaky roof. 滴 enemy The 'taskmaster' became my enemy for life when he smashed the 'antique vase'. 敵 spoon To remember the primitive meaning, picture someone sitting on the ground performing Seppuku...with a spoon. 匕 north In the north, the weather is so cold that people are often seen sitting back to back to preserve warmth. 北 stature While japanese people are generally small, people in the 'northern' contries have taller stature because of all the 'flesh' they eat! 背 compare Two men standing at the urinal, the man on the left compares his size. 比 decendants Grandparents spend all 'day comparing' photos of their decendants. 昆 all If you 'compare' colors, you will find that 'white' is produced from the mix of all the others. 皆 mix Give your plants the right mix of 'water' and 'sun'. Then 'compare' the results. 混 thirst As you pass by the muchacho taking the 'siesta', he cries out that he is thirsty and asks for something to drink. So you turn the 'water' hose on him. [11] 渇 audience The 'talk' was so boring the audience took a 'siesta'. 謁 brown Why is my package late? Imagine a UPS driver dressed in a brown 'cloak' taking a 'siesta'. What can brown do for you? 褐 hoarse If you have a 'siesta' with your 'mouth' open, you will wake up with a hoarse voice. 喝 delicious Use a 'spoon' to eat a delicious hot fudge 'sun'dae. Duh.. 旨 fat This kanji tells us that if you feed the 'flesh' with too many 'delicious' things, it soon picks up a thick layer of fat. [10] 脂 I (one) Amidst all the rich 'gentlemen' the one with a 'crown' was born with a silver 'spoon' in his mouth, setting his place as the number I (one) richest person in the room. 壱 every Freud believed every man wants to 'lie down' with his 'mother'. 毎 cleverness 'Every master'(or taskmaster) must have some degree of cleverness. 敏 plum Plums actually grow on every single tree. What, you didn't know that? They do. Orange trees, apple trees, cantaloupe trees. Plums are simply mutant fruits that have been installed in the root software of every single tree. I hear that some plum-loving scientists are working on a way to hack every tree's genetic code so that 'every tree' will bear nothing _but_ plums. 梅 sea 'Every' drop of 'water' will eventually return to the sea. 海 beg See someone 'lying down' in a public place with a 'hook' in place of a hand, begging a morsel of rice or a few pence. [3] 乞 drought During a drought, everything 'begs' for even a 'mist' for relief. 乾 abdomen The only 'body' part that 'doubles over'. 腹 duplicate St. Martin took his 'cloak', 'doubled it back', and cut it into two pieces effectively making a duplicate of his cape (duplicape) for the beggar. 複 lack When your body lacks oxygen you yawn. 欠 blow How am I supposed to blow if I 'lack' a 'mouth'? 吹 cook Better to picture what happens when you do not pay attention to your work in the kitchen. Here we see a blazing 'fire' and an inattentive, 'yawning' cook who let things get out of control. [8] 炊 song 'Can-Can' dancers 'lack' the ability to sing a song, so they just dance. 歌 soft 'Cars' are rough steel things, 'lacking' softness. 軟 next Global warming has gotten extreme. You're sweltering in line at the 'ice rationing board'. Every few minutes the sullen clerk yawns and says "next", and someone shuffles forward to get their ice cube. 次 briar To prevent animals from eating the beautiful 'flowers' in your garden, the best thing to do is to plant briar bushes immediately 'next' to them. 茨 assets Assets are the 'next' best thing to 'money'. 資 figure The 'next woman' always has a better figure! Thinking like that, you'll end up alone in an old folks home longing for the good old days! 姿 consult with To seek the 'words' of a 'second mouth' is to consult with someone about something. [16] 諮 compensation Compensation is 'money' you give to someone to 'shut them up' (i.e. muzzle their mouth). 賠 cultivate The illegal immigrants cultivate the 'land' but are socially and politically 'muzzled'. 培 divide Divide and conquer - first you cut them up (saber) , then you shut them up (muzzle). 剖 sound The 'tongue wagging in a mouth' produces a very high-pitched sound, breaking a nearby 'vase'. 音 darkness In the darkness, there is neither 'sun' nor 'sound'. 暗 rhyme In this kanji’s picture, one becomes a kind of “sound-employee.” [19] 韻 discriminating 'Words' are difficult to discriminate/discern from 'sounds' in the middle of a 'fiesta'. 識 mirror Remember how Archimedes burnt an approaching fleet with mirrors? Mirrors then were 'metal' and the sailors must have thought: "What're those metal things up there, 'standing' on the city walls? They look like little 'suns' on 'human legs'. Warm today isn't it?". 鏡 boundary Imagine the boundary of a plot of 'land' marked with gigantic 'mirrors' enabling the landowner to keep trespassers in sight at all times. [14] 境 deceased "He's deceased" "Diseased?" "No, his 'top-hat' got snagged on a 'hook' and he choked". 亡 blind dead eyes 盲 delusion A delusional 'woman'? 'Perish' the thought! 妄 laid waste Hurricane Katrina laid waste to New Orleans....as a result, a 'stream' of 'dead flowers' floated into the sea. 荒 ambition The ambitions of 'kings' often result in 'dead bodies'. 望 direction Spinning a 'dagger' about on its hilt on the top of a 'top hat'— waiting to see in which direction it points when it comes to rest—one leaves to fate where one is going next. Take care in writing this character. [4] 方 disturb Imagine a 'compass' that is disturbed every time a 'woman' passes by, sending the needle spinning madly round and round. [7] 妨 boy Little boys always head in the direction of mud and dirt. 坊 perfumed Bees - with their "built-in" 'compass' - always pick out the best-perfumed flowers - and so does the human nose, which always turns in the direction of the best-scented 'flower'! 芳 obese "Flesh in all directions" = obese. 肪 call on When you call on someone, you point your 'words' in their 'direction'. 訪 set free Go in any 'direction' away from your 'taskmaster' when you are set free. 放 violent When the taskmaster found his favorite 'white compas' damaged by 'water', he became the most violent 'taskmaster' there ever was. 激 undress The sexy devil undressed to reveal some flesh. 脱 rumor Not inappropriately, this character likens a rumor to the 'devil’s' own 'words'. [14] 説 pointed The 'devil' carries a 'golden' pitchfork with 3 pointed tips. 鋭 formerly The 'horns' found in the 'ricefields' were formerly used in rituals celebrating the 'sun' goddess, amaterasu. 曽 increase Farmers work the 'land' so they can increase their 'formerly' puny crop supply. 増 presents Presents represent 'money' that was 'formerly' yours. 贈 east The 'sun' pierces through the 'trees' as it rises in the east. 東 ridgepole Feng Shui states that the ridgepole of a house should be made of 'wood' and face 'east'. 棟 frozen Eastern Siberia is often frozen by 'ice'. According to wikipedia, Yakutia (in 'Eastern' Siberia) holds the record as the coldest town on Earth. 凍 pregnancy A pregnant 'woman' is a 'porter' of her child. 妊 courts 'Stretching' the truth in court caused a 'drop' of sweat on the 'gentleman's' brow. 廷 dye The 'baseball' team hangs their freshly dyed 'dripping' jerseys at the top of a ''tree to dry. 染 burn Any sort of thing can burn in the fire. 燃 V.I.P. This 'house' is reserved to V.I.P. only. If you are not 'one' of the 'few' with enough 'money' to call you that way, keep out! 賓 year end Santa had to put his 'foot' down to stop a 'march' of 'little' guys, namely elves. They were protesting the harsh treatment they get every year-end when Santa asks them to step up toy production for the holiday season. 歳 prefecture Contradictory to what Heisig says, there is no eye of a needle in this picture, because that would be the top part of 直. Instead, there is the 'eye of a fishhook'. I will not hazard a guess as to what lives in such a place, but in fact the eye of a fishhook - as it has well-defined borders - makes a 'small' prefecture of its own. 県 horse chestnut There are a bunch of horse chestnut 'trees' on top of this 'cliff' above the beach. Chestnuts keep rolling off the cliff and falling on people`s heads. So far 'ten thousand' people have been killed by falling chestnuts, and the Japanese government still ain`t did shit about it. 栃 ground Picture the ground as an extent of 'soil' where 'scorpions' are buried like land mines. Imagine a sign post saying 'no trespassing, scorpion mines' if that helps, and how it is dangerous to walk there. 地 pond Remember the story of the scorpion that begged the turtle for a ride across the pond? Halfway across the 'water', the 'scorpion' stang the turtle on the neck and they both sank to the bottom. 池 insect I see the bottom of this kanji as an arm, and the top is an insect biting into the arm, sucking some blood. 虫 lightning bug The 'insect' in 'school' was so quick with his answers, that he was called a lightning bug. 蛍 snake I use a 'spoon' to feed my pet snake 'insects' in the 'house'. 蛇 rainbow Little is it known that a rainbow is actually created by 'insects' of different colours flying in formation, a 'craft' they have perfected to create the rainbows we see today. 虹 butterfly A butterfly is an 'insect' that appears after spending a 'generation' on a 'tree' as a cocoon. 蝶 single The bachelor's apartment looked like it had been attacked by a 'pack of wild dogs'. There were even 'insects' in the kitchen. No wonder he's single! 独 silkworm There are no 'insects' in 'heaven' - well, that is, except for silkworms. What, do you expect Jesus to import his fancy robes from China? 蚕 wind When it's 'windy' you're sure to walk through a 'swarm of gnats' (those tiny drops of pesky insects!) at some point! 風 self This kanji looks like the "s" of "self", looking at its own reflection in a mirror (reversed sideways), as if pondering about his "self". 己 rouse Be careful when you`re running through the jungle, because you might step on and rouse a sleeping 'snake'. Then you`ll have to 'run' like hell before it bites you! 起 queen Queen Cleopatra ends her reign (and life) with the help of a 'snake'. 妃 reformation Pluralizing the snake and focusing on a single 'taskmaster' may help recommend the image of Ireland’s most famous reformer, St. Patrick, who, legend has it, drove away the 'snakes' from the land. [7] 改 scribe The scribes of yore had no pens or paper. To transcribe 'words' they had to train 'snakes' to twist their bodies into letters as they were spoken to. 記 wrap The 'snake bound' up its prey by wrapping his body around it. 包 placenta Imagine a newborn baby, fresh out of the womb, being entirely 'wrapped' by the long piece of 'flesh', called a placenta, that once fed him. 胞 cannon Primitive cannons fired 'stones wrapped' with poisonous snakes. 砲 bubble When 'water' forms a bubble, it 'wraps' a pocket of air. 泡 tortise It seems bizarre, but tortoises are a genetic cross with the head of a 'fish' and the tail of an 'eel'. Where the shell comes from, no one knows. 亀 electricity This kanji was invented by the first Chinaman to discover electricity. He was so unfortunate, he stepped on an electric 'eel' and got struck by lighting(rain) at the same time. 電 dragon Have you ever seen an asian dragon? it looks like an 'eel', but can 'stand up' because it has legs. 竜 waterfall The 'Water Dragon' dwells in the waterfall. 滝 pork Pork comes from the flesh of a sow. 豚 pursue In order to hunt for food one must pursue the fat 'sow' on the 'road'. 逐 comsummate This is still Miss Piggy only she's gotten 'horny' (as she often does) and now she's 'pursuing' Kermit to help her consummate her desires. 遂 house Think of "The Three Little Pigs". There was a house made of straw, another made of sticks, and a third made of bricks, each occupied by a pig. So, naturally, housetop over pig means house, the central element of that story. 家 marry into The kanji in this frame demonstrates the traditional Japanese approach to marriage: it is the 'woman' who leaves her family for another 'household', thus marrying into a man’s family. [13] 嫁 overpowering In Orwell's 'Animal Farm' the 'pigs' overpowered every other animal. They 'crownded' themselves as ruler of the farm and walked 'tall' on their rear legs, a crime strictly forbidden in the animal republic. 豪 intestines Taking things too literally, you used a real piglet as a 'piggy bank'. Now when you smash it open to get your coins out, you have to dig out your coins from its intestines. ew. 腸 location You're looking for a good location to bury your 'piggy bank' savings. It has to be in some soft 'soil' that's easy to dig up, well hidden, and easy to rememger like this kanji. 場 hot water Imagine a hot water kettle for your tea, except this one is a pink 'piggy bank' that pours the 'water' from its snout (and squeals when the water is piping hot). Make sure to use a potholder! 湯 sheep Picture of a sheep run over by a steam roller. Must have been a ram, note the horns. 羊 beauty Sheep dogs are beautiful animals. 美 ocean This kanji refers to the 'waters' of the Pasheephic ocean. 洋 detailed Babe had to remember the detailed 'words' of the 'sheep' in order to get through to them. Anything less detailed and they will just act like crazy sheep. 詳 fresh The freshest 'fish' is caught in the middle of the night while most people are "counting 'sheep'." 鮮 accomplished Only the most accomplished grave digger can cover a 'sheep' with 'dirt' in the middle of the 'road' and have no one find the grave. 達 envious A very thirsty 'sheep', who always 'lacked water', spends his days watching his fellow sheep (in the farm next door or in another pen) and being very envious of their water. 羨 distinction This New-Zealand pro-gamer has won many distinctions playing WoolCraft (a massively multi-user game in which the goal is to shear sheep). 差 don I cannot resist doing this one for you, since it clearly describes donning (putting on) one’s clothes as “pulling the 'wool' over one’s 'eyes'.” [12] 着 solely The mouth of a turkey is used solely for saying, "Gobble." Likewise, your 'mouth', full of 'turkey', is solely used to gobble it up. 唯 char When I put the 'turkey' over the 'oven fire', it always ends up being charred beyond recognition. I'm not a very good cook. 焦 reef Reefs are often formed from volcanic rock, or "rock that has been charred". 礁 gather Hunter-gathers, searching all along the ground for food. They never look up and see the 'Turkeys' that have gathered on top of the 'trees' to hide. Those were some smart turkeys! 集 quasi An iced turkey is only quasi-as-good-as fresh turkey. 准 advance Why did the 'turkey' cross the 'road'? To advance to the other side, of course. 進 miscellaneous Newscast: "Among today's miscellaneous stories, we have a report on a 'baseball team' that was chased up a 'tree' by a 'turkey'. Stay tuned for this and more!". 雑 feminine Stop | spooning | turkeys, its hardly feminine. 雌 semi- At the turkey fighting semi-final, 'turkeys' are injected with drugs via 'needles' and splashed with 'water' to help them last the match. 準 stirred up Think of Foghorn Leghorn (actually a 'big' rooster, not a 'turkey', but whatever...) who is always getting stirred up by the 'brainy' little nerd-chicken. 奮 rob Remember the scene in A Christmas Story where the 'big dogs' robbed the family of their Christmas 'turkey'? Well, the following year Ralphie's mom 'glued' the holiday bird to the kitchen table, just as a precaution. 奪 assurance To assure that no one will get into the 'Turkey' coop, put a huge 'rock' in the entrance! 確 noon Noon is a good time for a ten minute nap (using lie down as nap). 午 permit Mr Ed ( a famous talking 'horse' ) was finally at a loss for 'words' when told he would need a permit for public speaking. 許 delight Imagine a spoiled little girl. Her delight when she gets a 'Pegasus' for her birthday... and then like all spoilt little girls she gets bored of it quickly... hence the 'yawn'. 歓 authority "Respect my 'authority'," said Cartman as he whacked 'pegasus' with his 'tree'. 権 outlook Microsoft Outlook works about as well as a 'pegasus' that can't 'see': they both crash all the time. 観 feathers From the pictograph of two bird-wings, we get feathers. [6] 羽 learn I learnt about the 'white feathered' velociraptors from a documentary. 習 the following "The following segment is sponsored by...Swiffer - who make excellent 'feather' dusters for cleaning your 'vases'". 翌 weekday On the week'days', 'turkeys' have to go to work. What do they do at work? Well, just strut their 'feathers'. (It's an easy gig.). 曜 laundry When 'turkeys' do the laundry, they put their 'feathers' in 'water' (they don't have clothes). 濯 sayeth "Sayeth"?! Who the hell says "sayeth"? Doesn't seem quite right...just like this kanji, which is just like "day" but doesn't seem "quite right.". 曰 quandry I'm supposed to make an enclosure for my 'tree', but if I use its wood for the 'enclosure', there won't be anything left to be pent-in. What a quandary! 困 harden Fossils are 'old' things 'pent' in that have hardened. 固 country Think of a country that has “pent in” all of its 'jewels' so they wouldn't go away. Maybe it was China and its great wall. 国 group Groups like to stay glued inside their little boxes. 団 cause A big mouth is the cause of many problems. 因 matrimony When the woman gets angry, she treats her man like a pent in dog (i.e., puts him in the doghouse). It's a perfect metaphor for the state of matrimony 姻 park A nice picnic pent up in the park, with your crock pot and scarf (picnic blanket). 園 -times Write mouth two -times. 回 podium Abraham Lincoln used a simple mound of 'soil' for a podium, when he wore his 'top hat' and gave the speech he had practiced many 'times' until 'nightbreak'. But it was so magnificent that no one noticed. 壇 store Try to remember all those stores from Zelda that were inside 'caves' and had 'fortune-teller' like vendors. 店 warehouse I think of the Batcave. It's a big cave that Batman uses as a warehouse to store his car, the Batmobile, and all his cool big-boy toys. 庫 courtyard When the courthouse caved in, trials had to be held in the courtyard. 庭 government office Some bureaucrats at a government office decided that the tunnels of caves need to get street signs, which are then 'nailed' to the walls of the 'cave'. 庁 bed The two safe places to sleep in the wilderness are in a 'tree' and in a 'cave'. So these can be considered as beds. 床 hemp Where is the best place to hid your 'grove' of hemp trees? In a 'cave', you dope! 麻 grind If you grind the 'hemp' you are bound to get 'stoned' quicker. 磨 heart pictograph 心 forget You will perish if you forget to make your heart beat. (Never mind that it's an involuntary muscle) The reason people die of old age is simply dementia. 忘 endure Someone with a razor blade stuck in their heart has to endure the pain wherever they go and can tell no one about it. 忍 acknowledge I never read the "acknowledgements" section of books or theses, because they are mostly just boring 'words' that i must 'endure' reading, before i can get to the interesting part. 認 mourning You are mourning the death of a relative, and it feels as if a snake had bitten into your heart. -- "mourning feels like snake-bitten heart". 忌 intention Gentlemen always have hearts full of good intentions. 志 document A will is an important document that contains your final 'word' on how you 'intend' to distribute your assets. 誌 loyalty Your loyalty is to what's in your heart. 忠 shish kebab pictograph 串 afflicted A person who is afflicted with the vampire disease can only be killed with a 'shish-kebab' through the 'heart'. 患 think To think is to use your brain over your heart. 思 grace This kanji tells us that wherever heart is the cause, grace is the consequence. Think of “grace” as a graceful act: something benevolent that comes from the heart. 恩 apply To apply for the job as a (replacement) Batman, you have to make it to the heart of the cave past all the traps he set up to test you. There, you see a table with the application form on it. Now that you think about it, the ad in the paper did say "Those who don't make it to the 'heart' of the 'cave' need not apply.". 応 idea When you get a good idea you get excited and you can hear the 'sound' of your 'heart', it's pounding so hard. 意 concept The concept of love is basically two hearts inter-acting as one. 想 breath Your breath brings oxygen in through your 'nose' which is then pumped around your body by your 'heart'. 息 recess Recess to me is a school break. At recess some kiddies are comparing their latest body piercings. 'Tongues' and 'noses' are nothing special. The new cool is to have your 'heart' done! 憩 favor Imagine the Wizard of OZ. There, the three heroes asked the Wizard for three favors: the lion wanted courage of 'ten' men, the scarecrow wanted a 'brain', and the tin man wanted a 'heart'. Ok, the lion bit is stretching but you have it memorized now, so who cares? 恵 fear If your heart surgeon is mediocre in his craft, you have plenty of reason to fear. ("Oops, I think I left my scissors in there"). 恐 beguile She was beguiled/mislead by his charm: at the 'party' he kissed her on the 'mouth', they did it on the 'floor' and thus he stole her 'heart'. Poor girl! 惑 emotion Emotion is a march of mouths inside your heart telling you what to feel. 感 melancholy Melancholy makes me think of Hamlet cause he was so 'emo'. In order to play up his feelings he bares his head and holds his crown over his heart then walks (on walking legs) around the palace making everyone see how melancholy he is. What a wuss. 憂 widow The new widow sits in the 'house', her 'head' in her lap (the extended stroke), her 'dagger' in her husband. 寡 busy Data can stay so busy as not to sleep withou dying. He's a robot 忙 ecstacy The devil sells Data some ecstasy saying it will make him, like, human, man. 悦 constancy Data couldn't break the span of his constancy of his state of mind (ooh double reinforcement) if he tried. He can't break that serious look for one moment. 恒 lament Data laments that he could never see his eminent father, his creator, ever again. He paints a picture of his father, that looks like a sunflower in the shape of a magic wand. 悼 enlightenment Data finds enlightenment when he discovers the answer to the question, "Who am I?". (Image: Data meditating in a sitting lotus position). 悟 dreadful Being an android, Data is white as a sheet. Doctor Crusher always has to remind herself that this is perfectly normal. From a doctor's perspective, he really does look dreadful. 怖 disconcerted Data was disconcerted to find that he had been laid waste in a robot scrap yard. "This is very disconcerting", he says in the calmest possible manner given his unfortunate predicament. Make sure you see him there, looking around trying to analyse how his Captain could have abandoned him. 慌 repent Data stands apart from everyone who must repent. Robots have no conscience, and so they don't need to. 悔 hate Data found with an increase in human-like feelings came an increase in hate. 憎 accustomed Data got his ears pierced with pretty pearl earrings. Everyone else on the ship thought it was strange, but he told them that he wasn't changing, and that they just would have to get accustomed to it. 慣 pleasure A meeting of butchers has dissolved into an orgy of blood-squirting violence. But since the killing state of mind is the highest pleasure a butcher can experience, they are all smiles. 愉 lazy Data was just being lazy when he claimed the left side of his body had malfunctioned and he couldn't help. 惰 humility Data has great humility even though he knows more truth than any human. 慎 remorse Data feels remorse for stealing the human emotion chip. 憾 recollection Data's recollection powers are unparalled. He never loses a single idea. 憶 pining Remember the dead parrot from Monty Python's parrot's sketch? The shop owner said that the Norwegian Blue was pining for the fjords! But of course it should have been put in the graveyard already. Poor buyer, he meant to give the bird away as a valentine present... 慕 annexed He drank all the holy water, so god annexed his heart to heaven. 添 invariably You swear you'll be in love forever, but invariably there comes a time when your heart is divided. 必 ooze Anything full of water will invariably begin to ooze. 泌 hand Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (the 6-fingered man). 手 watch over I picture a lifeguard standing in his tower with his hand over his eyes, watching over the swimmers below. 看 chafe If you grind the hemp without a stone but use your hand instead it will chafe. (Image: "Robin, why are your hands all chafed?" 'Uh... (I've been grinding hemp all day)'). 摩 ego The truly egotistical prefer a hand-fiesta to anything anyone else can give them. Ok, its not a lovely image, but its kind of memorable. Big ego: hand-fiesta. 我 righteousness Like sheep led to the slaughter are followers of those obese egotistical televangelists in their $10,000 suits and self-righteousness attitude. 義 deliberation At the worst of times, a jury's deliberation descends into a war of words between competing self-righteous, power-tripping bastards. 議 sacrifice A very righteous cow has sacrificed her hay for the Christ Child's crib in your typical scene of the nativity. Picture the righteous cow with its inflated ego, condescending look, etc. 犠 rub I like to rub my fingers over my extremities. 抹 embrace When embracing someone, wrap your fingers around her butt for added effect. You may think of "bound with snakes" as a description of the fingers slithering around the buttocks, if you want a particularly graphic image. 抱 board "Now boarding the pagoda ride. Please keep your fingers inside at all times...". 搭 extract The mafia want to extract information from you. You don't say a word, so out comes the knife. They cut of your fingers until you only have a few left and then you speak. 抄 confront Imagine a thumb war. A confrontation of fingers in a whirlwind. 抗 criticism Think of the two most famous critics, Ebert and Roeper. On their show, they compare thumbs (which are technically fingers) with each other before dispensing criticism. 批 beckon Her seductive fingers beckoned. 招 clear(the land) A huge index finger coming down from the sky is kicking boulders of rock, clearing the land. Maybe it's the finger of God preparing a place for his little people to live. 拓 clap Master Hand in Smash Bros claps you to death with his big, white fingers. 拍 strike You're using a hammer to drive a nail into a plank, but you miss and strike your fingers, ouch! 打 arrest The rookie officer has forgetten his handcuffs So as he is saying the phrase, "You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent..." you are shocked that he's cuffing you with a chinese finger trap. 拘 discard The wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel only likes the meaty parts of kids. Outside her candy cottage, you can see a pile of discarded fingers. 捨 kidnap Wrap your fingers around someone's mouth to keep them quiet, then put the knife to their throat to ensure their cooperation. This is the best way to kidnap someone. 拐 pinch Don't you hate when your aunt (who is an antique) PINCHES your cheeks with her antique fingers? 摘 challenge You are sure to take a challenge because your victory was portended. So you stand self-confident before your foe, point a finger at him and say "I will prevail, as was long portended!". 挑 finger Here we have the basis for Colonel Sanders finger licking good Kentucky Fried Chicken. Delicious. 指 hold At the buddhist temple you'll see wonderous things, such as the priest that can hold himself upside down with just a finger. 持 fasten Teacher was always telling us to fasten our lips by pulling a zipper shut with our fingers. It always frightened me because I imagined getting my tongue stuck in the zipper. 括 brandish Think of the movie Gladiator but instead Maximus is brandishing a giant foam brand name (nike, rebok, adidas, whatever) finger like you see at a baseball game. He's riding in a chariot using the foam finger to kill his enemy. 揮 conjecture Turkeys are cold-blooded. I'll test this conjecture by ramming my finger up their butts. (Image: scientists in lab coats shoving their fingers up the butts of a row of frightened turkeys. Aids are furiously scribbling notes on clipboards.). 推 hoist My piggy bank is so heavy that I cannot hoist it using just my fingers. 揚 propose When you propose, the ring you place on your fiance's finger better be just so (style/size/placement/etc.) or she'll reject your sorry ass. 提 damage Boss yells, "Who damaged the Xerox machine?!" fingers of employees point at one another. 損 pick up I tried to pick up the bowling ball...but my fingers didn't fit in the holes. 拾 shouldering One of the classic stories of shouldering a heavy burden is that of the kid who had to stick his finger on a dam until nightbreak to prevent it from breaking down. 担 foothold When rockclimbing, when your weight disposes of the valuble foothold, all that's left is your fingers keeping you from death. Meanwhile, your walking legs are left dangling in the wind. 拠 sketch A sketch is a seedling of things to come. Before the assault, the sergeant draws a sketch of the attack with his fingers in the sand. 描 maneuver Luke skywalker points his fingers and uses the force to maneuver the goods through the tree branches and up over the tree. 操 touch A pervert meets a woman. The pervert tries to touch the women with his lustful fingers. The woman takes a vase, lifts it over her head and smashes it on the pervert's head... 接 put up (a notice) The piano tutor put up a notice that his fingers were tired and that he was going to take an extended siesta. 掲 hang Think RPG. The wizard points his finger to the guard and the ivy he has just animated with his magic wand climbs down the wall to hang the poor guy, opening the way for the adventurers into the dungeon. 掛 polish You use two hands to polish a stone: one to hold it and the other to rub it. 研 commandment When moses received the ten commandments with two hands, he went back down the mountain and threw a fiesta with the jews, celebrating the arrival of the commandments. 戒 contraption The ten commandments were heavy. So to help carry them, Moses made a wooden contraption; the ark of the covenant. 械 nose Let me share a rather grotesque image to help with this kanji. Imagine taking your two hands and reaching up into someone’s nostrils. Once inside you grab hold of the brain and yank it out. At the end, you would have a picture something like that of this character, the full kanji for nose. [14] 鼻 punish This kanji is for severe punishment. A man has his shackled hands placed on a wood block and they're chopped off with a saber. No more stealing bread in the Middle East... 刑 mould A famous ninja once pressed his two hands and saber into the soil of his temple, before going onto a mission from which he never came back. Think of some sort of signature that he left behind him. The mould of his two hands and saber has since become a popular attraction in the area. 型 genius Ten is ten, but add a stroke of genius and... 才 property If you're a money genius, you can afford a lot of property. 財 lumber Just when the were about to turn the last tree into lumber, the Lorax (the tree-genie) jumps out and puts a stop to the whole affair. 材 suppose Suppose a genie in a bottle granted a child 3 wishes, that'd be great eh? 存 exist Genie in the bottle does exist but you need to dig deep into the soil to find one. 在 from from a pictograph of a thumbs up. That's how it also gets the primitive meaning of fist. 乃 portable This character is the "kei" in "keitai" (cell phone), a word you will no doubt hear often in Japan, since everyone has one. Imagine you've just arrived in Japan, but don't have a cell phone yet, so instead you're carrying around a portable turkey you can hold in your fist. To dial a number, just poke it with your fingers. 携 reach out The addition of a final stroke transforms this character from the primitive for a clenched fist into the kanji for reaching out, much as a stroke of kindness can often turn anger into acceptance. [3] 及 suck Imagine a baby reaching out and holding mom's breast as if it were bottle, and sucking on it to get some milk. 吸 handle Handle with care... carefully hold the Nitroglycerin within your fingers with outstretched hands for fear of it blowing up in your face... 扱 length Both a meter and a yard are about one arm-length. 丈 history History students usually going to school with a history book tucked under their arm. But now instead of a book, you have a small talking mouth that tell you about history. "When I was young, I used to walk 5 miles everyday.....". 史 officer In a police state, the police officers all speak with one mouth and have a gun tucked under their arm. 吏 grow late It's starting to grow late, so God will take the sun, and tuck it under his arm, and walk away. In the morning, he'll bring it back, so don't worry. 更 stiff There's a city whose inhabitants stiffen and turn to stone every night when it grows late. 硬 or again As a primitive, instead of using "crotch", I also often use "sat cross-legged" as this also looks like the kanji. 又 pair Pair of school kids sitting cross-legged. 双 mulberry Here we go round the mulberry bush, again and again and again... 桑 vessels Donald Duck is a big bird that does not wear pants. It's good to use him as a mnemonic because he is a sailor, and this kanji is used to count vessels. 隻 safeguard The pacifists thought that words could safeguard their hippie flower vessel from the pirates. 護 seize Customs just seized a crate of poppies (flowers) detected by trained wild dogs who inspected the vessel. 獲 guy That guy stole my woman so I kicked him in the crotch. (This story helps keep the word "guy" as someone you hold in contempt). 奴 angry This woman is angry because of the guys in the previous frame who pay more attention to her crotch than her heart. I prefer to decompose the kanji in three elements here because it is easier to read like a mnemonic. 怒 friend The only friend which will stay by a guy's side forever is his crotch. 友 slip out Don't let good friends slip out between your fingers. 抜 throw Well, you usually use your fingers to throw objects used as missile weapons. Easy. By the way, for those of you looking for a less anachronistic image for the missile primitive as a modern rocket, try a slingshot. it's a crotch (originally a tree branch) that sends missile projectiles flying into/like the wind. And for this present kanji, it is something you naturally use with your fingers... 投 drown The submarine's hull was breached after being struck by a torpedo ("water missile"), causing the entire crew to drown. 没 establishment When you attack the establishment with words, it fights back with missiles. 設 beat Your car has missles?! That beats mine, hands down. 撃 husk A samurai husking corn, which means removing the part that is superfluous, so that he can use the corn as missiles in some upcoming war... 殻 branch A special branch of the military called the Needle Crotch Unit. Their only weapon is the needle embedded in their crotches, and they're quite adept at using them. 支 skill Balancing a branch on your finger is the prototypical example of a skill that is nothing more than a skill (i.e., it is completely useless). 技 bough The tree's primary branch is known as the bough. 枝 limb Limbs are body parts that branch off. 肢 stalk PRIMITIVE: soiled crotch = soiled underwear. To precent anyone from picking the beautiful flower, the gardner hung soiled underwear on the stalk. 茎 suspicious Data tried to avoid looking suspicious, but everyone knew the soiled underwear were his. 怪 lightly Listen - if your friend here really has soiled pants and you don't want her smearing her shit all over the seat, then you'd better drive your car lightly. I mean, one bump, and that shit's all over. Picture yourself taking this advice next time you soil your underwear, and trying to sit lightly on the edge of your seat, gingerly driving your car... 軽 uncle Oh come on people - say what we've all been thinking: the uncle is that creepy guy towering above a little one's crotch. 叔 coach Creepy uncle volunteers as gymnastics coach so he can eye the team from below. 督 loneliness The unmarried uncle's house is the picture of lonlieness. 寂 graceful Your uncle’s bellyflop into the water is far from graceful. 淑 anti- I think of an anti-hero (Dirty Harry etc.) for this primitive, whose trademark for disposing of villians is not an honorable fight, but a kick in the crotch and then a shove off a cliff (perhaps whilst the villain's back is turned). 反 slope As the villain (pushed off by the anti-hero) is tumbling down the slope, he activates gadget skis to escape, spraying soil everywhere as he flies down the slope 坂 plank Of course, trees are anti-plank. Wouldn't you be if you were a tree? 板 return In "The Return of the anti-hero", Clint Eastwood kicks the villain in the crotch, pushes them off the cliff and onto a busy highway. A tiring movie franchise to say the least.... 返 marketing Dirty Harry (our anti-hero) refused the villainous marketing director's offer of money before he kicked him in the crotch and pushed him off the cliff. 販 claw pictograph 爪 gentle An eagle must be extra gentle to pick up a dainty woman in its sharp claws. 妥 milk Drinking milk not only reduces cavities but also strengthens nails (claws). 乳 floating Floating rubber ducky! 浮 leader The leader in this race is the turtle! It appears he has covered the vulture’s feet in glue, so that the vulture cannot get off the starting block. 将 exhort Think of Latin hortus, meaning garden. Now think of a cheap imitation of Wallace and Gromit---a military leader wearing a turtle helmet and an expressionless St. Bernard---as they ex-hort rabbits from people's gardens (probably more violently than the original duo). 奨 pick You pick cheries with your fingers, then along comes a giant vulture and picks up the whole tree with its claws. 採 vegetable In a world of all vegetables (no meat), vultures would become peace loving hippies, lounging around in trees all day, wearing flowers in their plumes/hair. 菜 accept The bird house is the brothel and of course everyone is welcome - they accept any crotch. 受 impart He imparted acceptance to his colleague by making an O with his fingers. 授 love Here we see what the guy from melancholy ended up doing. To solve his matters of heart, he turned his walking legs towards the brothel (bird house) seeking for love. 愛 pay You're at a restaurant and raise your finger to indicate to the waiter that you want to pay. Your friend elbows you in the ribs -- it's his shout, and he insists on taking care of the bill. 払 wide The Batcave is very wide and has a lot of elbow room for Batman to do his yoga. 広 broaden When Batman's cave isn't wide enough to hold all of his new inventions and gadgets, he has his friend Superman use his superstrong fingers to grip the entrance of the cave and broaden it, making more elbow room. Goatse-style visuals at your own risk. 拡 mineral Elbonium: a new mineral found in wide caves shaped like elbows and made of metal. 鉱 valve Opening a stuck valve requires 2 hands and a lot of elbow grease. 弁 masculine In the most masculine man contest, the men have to hold a 200 pound turkey by their side using only their elbows. The champion is the one that can hold the longest. 雄 pedestal Rodin's 'Thinker' sitting on a pedestal, the arm bent at the elbow cradling the mouth. 台 neglect While standing on the pedestal at the award ceremony, the recipient heartlessly neglected to mention the people that got him there. 怠 reign From his water pedestal Posidon reigns over his Sea Empire. 治 commence Many men, before they commence their relationship with the woman of their desires, place her on something of a pedestal, which often leads to disappointment later on. 始 womb The body part feminists like to put on a pedestal is the womb, especially when they hear a man complain about some responsibility. "We give birth, so it's your duty to do so-and-so". 胎 window A voyeur peeks in the window of a house, but all he can see is legs. So he elbows up into the window for a better view which gets his heart racing. 窓 gone "Going, going, GONE!", said the gravedigger as he shoveled soil onto the body's protruding elbow (the last bit left to cover). 去 method This kanji shows up in a lot of words related to the legal process. Try this image: using a very outdated judicial method, the people of Salem dunked accused witches in the water until they were all gone. 法 meeting At the local company they have a very gory way of getting rid of incompetent personnel : they arrange a business meeting in a very special room where the walls are ... meeting. Not surprisingly the boss is never present at these meetings, he's the one who pushes the button that sets the walls in motion. 会 climax The climax of the Berlin Wall affair was the tearing of it to ground. 至 room I dont understand why heisig used the word climax for this. roof-wall-floor(soil)= a room. 室 arrival Just as we were about to climax her father arrived with a sword. 到 doth To reach climax I doth the bidding of my dominatrix taskmaster. 致 mutually When you draw this character think of linking two walls together, one right side up and the other upside down. [4] 互 abandon Think of a really loud and annoying baby, you want to abandon it but it keeps coming back...so you take of your belt by the buckle, and buckle the baby to a tree! 棄 bring up Bringing up your offspring means raising them from infant until they are meat ready to be harvested. What, cannibalism is in poor taste? Forget I ever brought it up. But bring up will forver be infant meat to me. I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs! 育 remove A terrible yakuza taskmaster is bringing up his infant. Every time the infant does something wrong... well, you know what happens to yakuzas when they do something wrong. 撤 allot Scene at the baby factory: Manager: "Good news! Your infant has been allotted human legs". Parent to be: "Thanks a lot!". 充 gun "Everyone is allotted a metal gun" (US constitution according to the NRA). 銃 sulphur Infants are baptised in streams inorder to prevent their descent into a place of sulphur and brimstone. 硫 current infant Moses placed in the water and sent down the current of the stream. 流 licence In some Asian kung-fu version of James Bond, the main protagonist has a “License To Kill” with his deadly elbows and human legs. His suit is always stained of red blood at the elbows and lower legs (this to help create an image that distinguish the two elements). 允 tempt I named the right part legal prostitute has it represents a walker [walking legs] with the license. It's easy to imagine a legal prostitute tempting a man with her mouth. 唆 exit A mountain chain blocked our exit from Mordor. 出 mountain pictograph 山 bungling With fingers fumbling around trying to get the key in the door so he could exit, the bungling husband woke his wife as he tried to leave for a rendezvous with his mistress. 拙 boulder A mountain-sized stone is known as a boulder. 岩 charcoal You get charcoal from volcano ashes. 炭 branch off On the left, there are three mountains. The road branches off to each of them. (Note: This kanji is mostly used for branches in the road). 岐 mountain pass Heisig mentions at kanjiclinic.com that he wishes he'd chosen mountain pass for this keyword as it's closer to what the word means. If we do this, the kanji makes complete sense because a mountain pass is just below the mountain top. 峠 crumble Sam and Frodo were steadfast companions even as Mount Doom crumbled above them. 崩 secrecy To maintain secrecy, secret societies invariably have to house themselves in the moutains. 密 honey A house with a lot of honey will invariably attract many insects. 蜜 storm Storm is a full-blown wind that rips the mountains off the ground (you see one flying here). 嵐 promonotory A promontory is a small, strange mountain that juts out into the sea. 崎 enter pictograph 入 crowded During a traffic jam it is impossible to get your car to enter the roadway as it is crowded with cars. Think of a grid lock so bad cars are litterally scraping up against each other like people on a Japanese train during rush hour. 込 part When something is entered by a dagger, it ends up being cut in several parts. 分 poverty Parting with your money will lead to poverty. 貧 partition The last time I tried to partition a hard drive under Linux, I got a severe migraine that parted my head. 頒 public I always enter the doors to the public restrooms with my elbows because I don't want to touch the door with my hands. 公 pine tree Following up with the "entering public restrooms" story for the right-hand primitive: public restrooms always reek of pine tree scented disinfectant. 松 venerable old man The venerable old man is the public figure head of the Native American Village, answering all questions and solving all problems. The higher in rank you get in this tribe, the more feathers decorate you. Imagine this old man covered in beautiful feathers. 翁 sue Take care what words you say in public lest you be sued. 訟 valley This could be seen as a very accurate pictograph of another type of valley: a valley mouth open under the umbrella of inner labia, with the outer labia parted above. There are even more connections to be made among the primitive keywords and the visuals, but i will enter no further... 谷 bathe In a valley full of water you may bathe. 浴 contain Imagine a house big enough to contain an entire valley. might want to live there. And now imagine cleaning it....Maybe not... 容 melt Think of what happens when the snow on top of the mountains melts: it turns into water and flows down onto the rooftops of all the houses in the valley below. 溶 longing The valley has something my life is lacking.... something I've been longing for.. peace and quiet. 欲 abundant Welcome to cloak-valley, the valley where everyone wears cloaks and every shop sells cloaks. Mnemonic : “cloaks are abundant in the valley”. 裕 lead Picture the molten lead (the heavy metal) being discreetly drained out of the factory into a gully behind. 鉛 run alongside Water in a gully runs alongside the path. 沿 prize As a prize for being the 1,000,000th person to use the restaurant's outhouse, I got all the clams I could eat. 賞 party Every major political party, if personified, would look like a giant outhouse walking around with human legs spewing out a constant stream of bullshit. 党 public chamber We voted to install an outhouse in the public chamber hall because the speaker of the house couldn't stop soiling himself. 堂 usual In the outhouse toilet you'd usually hope to find toilet paper to wipe your ass. If it's already gone, which is usually the case, simply use the towel. 常 skirt Compared to pants, a skirt is the garment to be wearing when you want to use one of those Japanese toilets. It makes it so much easier: you just walk in the outhouse hike it up, and do your business. 裳 manipulate If you're going to manipulate your body with your hand, then go do it in an outhouse, at least! 掌 pelt Davy Crocket used to hang his coon-skin pelt on a branch that had grown out over the edge of a cliff. 皮 waves Waves are the ocean's pelt (skin). 波 old woman The Queen. She's an old woman who waves. 婆 expose You expose holes in a pelt by passing your fingers through them and wiggling them on the other side. The sense of the kanji here is to reveal something that was hidden, to make known, to open your heart (thus revealing it, exposing it to others), express your opinion, etc. 披 rend Before the invention of scissors or knives, sharp stones were used to rend pelts, so that caveman designers could complete new styles for the upcoming year. 破 incur A cloak of fur (pelt) will incur the wrath of animal lovers. 被 remainder The remainder of the bones have been thrown from the float (for the dogs maybe, at the end of the parade). 残 martyrdom The boney man martyred himself during his 10 day hunger-strike. 殉 particuarly Castlevania -- The vermillion skeletons (bones) are particularly hard because they just keep regenerating. 殊 augment Augment your penis size with a bone implant that makes it straightaway. 殖 file A line of skeletal warriors, all armed with sabers. 列 split Someone takes a sword made of bone to split the garment right down the middle. Very effective. 裂 ardent The nazis were ardent believers in the master arian race, see them marching everyone else into the oven fires, single file. 烈 death Imagine the grim reaper (the bringer of death), carrying a spoon made of human bones instead of a scythe. 死 interment I imagine an interment as a funeral. At this funeral it's an open casket, and the dead body (death) is holding flowers with both of its hands. 葬 wink Imagine Snoopy winking with his big eyes (and a happy smile) standing next to Woodstocks Birdhouse, woodstock being so cool that he wears little sunglasses. 瞬 ear pictograph 耳 take You know that classic trick where someone pretends to take something out of an someone else's ear (such as a coin). Instead of a cigarette or a pen he pulls the person’s crotch out of their ear. Very painful! 取 gist The gist of it is this: We take the money and run! 趣 utmost Do your utmost - seize(take) the day. 最 snapshot When I learned photography from my dad as a little girl, he explained the basics to me: "when you take a snapshot, be careful not to put your fingers before the lens, and don't look towards the sun (this was in the days that photographs would be spoiled by direct sunlight). 撮 shame Amelia Ear-Heart (sic) brought shame to those who said women couldn't fly. 恥 post Worst post in history: quality checker at the kazoo factory. Imagine the toll on your ears! 職 holy The trick for me is to remember that the 耳 is to the left of the 口. However, this is easy because a true holy man uses his ear to listen (i.e., to God or his supplicant) before he opens his mouth to speak, unlike a charlatan who just makes something up. Of course, kings are often true holy men and prophets (e.g., King David in the bible). 聖 daring Only a truly daring Japanese student would wear a spike in his ear under the gaze of the Japanese teacher taskmasters! 敢 listen I promise to use my ear to do nothing but listen ... stick a needle in my eye, cross my heart and hope to die! (Intentionally said backwards to get the order of the primitives correct). 聴 pocket Data is a good security officer because his piercing eyes can even scan garments for hidden pockets. 懐 ridicule The whole crew ridicules Data as he's on a big hippy phase wearing mandalas and such trying to explore human behavior. (It depicts the order of sacred cosmic symbols: sun, eye, crotch). 慢 loose Staring at mandalas is a tool in meditation to loosen-up the mind and body, allowing the energy to flow like water. 漫 buy When something catches my eye, I take out a few clams and buy it before anybody else does. 買 placement On the JET Programme, many people have their eye on a placement in Tokyo, Osaka or another big city, and write it on their application form. They are usually sent to the countryside straightaway. 置 penalty For Japanese, when the mind's eye feels guilty for something bad that the body has done, there are two penaltys to choose from. One, you can say I'm sorry. Two, you can commit suicide by sabre. Why, oh why, do so many Japanese executives commit suicide at the first sign of scandal when all the have to do is say I'm sorry to get off the hook. 罰 rather Rather a house with a heart than an eye with a spike. 寧 voiced The fly is wrapped in a spiderweb voicing "Help me, Help Me" under the watchful eye of the spider who's venom is dripping like water from her fangs. 濁 ring our first primitive is a jewel. Our second primitive is the eye of Sauron. Our third primitive represents the many ceilings under which the fellowship seeks cover from the eye of Sauron. Our fourth primitive is the mouth of Gollum, always mumbling “My preciousss”. Our last primitive is Pippin's scarf, just because (note how the scarf is compressed). Note: the key word refers to a circle, link, or something that cycles. 環 send back You've probably guessed it by now, this is the road that Sam and Frodo take to send back the ring to Mount Doom! (see previous frame, the jewel is replaced by the road). 還 husband pictograph 夫 aid Using his finger the husband sometimes is an erotic aid to his partner. 扶 mountain stream The Simpsons are on vacation. Homer stops to take a leak in a mountain stream but gets snatched by an eagle. Hear his scream? 渓 standard In the male-dominated world of yesterday, the husband's way of seeing things was considered the standard point of view. Women who dared to disagree were frowned upon. 規 exchange Marge's dream: to exchange Homer for another husband for just one day. 替 approve Out of two potential husbands, which would you approve of? Well, the one with shells (money) of course!!! 賛 submerge When a submarine or similar vessel submerges, an exchange of air for water takes place in special compartments. 潜 lose The drop falling here is the husband's toupee... he's already lost his hair once, now he's losing it again. Such is life, I suppose. 失 iron Iron is a metal that gradually becomes lost due to oxidation and rust. 鉄 alternate When you get lost, you just take an alternate road to get back on track. 迭 retainer Retainer = A slave (for the purposes of this kanji.) This is a pictograph of a slave collar with two handcuffs dangling from it. 臣 princess Princess Leia becomes Jabba's slave (“princess Leia is a woman slave”). 姫 storehouse The storehouse is overgrown with slaves. The slaves are to be sold in the store, to differentiate from a warehouse, which doesn't have the word "store" in it. 蔵 entrails Again with the Pyramids, each Pharaoh had their entrails taken out and put into little jars that were shaped in the forms of their Gods and entombed along with the preserved body. So, the entrails are the parts of the body that are placed in the storehouse along with the Pharaoh! 臓 intelligent An intelligent man is neither slave to his crotch nor to money. But an intelligent slave will know how to use his/her crotch to make money. 賢 strict The strict parent thinks adolescent kids are "slaves to their crotch" (= can't control their hormones), so he grounds them. Permanently! 堅 look to The slave is looking to the future, "One day" he thinks "I will be able to recline with all my goods, a tv, stereo and washing machine, and when that day comes I shall be truly happy" he sighs. 臨 perusal The slave reclines on the floor at night to watch the stars. Since that's the only thing the slave is allowed to read, he does so very thoroughly and diligently, hence perusal. 覧 gigantic This is actually the top view of a porn star with a gigantic erect penis. The top and bottom are his arms and the middle is his penis. Imagine him making the pumping motion while he's banging some chick. The arms move in, the penis moves out and vice versa. 巨 repel Having gigantic fingers is useful to repel bugs. You can swat them away a lot easier! 拒 power pictograph 力 male Male is seen here as muscles working in the field, in other words working in the rice fields is the work of the male who are usually stronger. This is more or less the meaning of the original Chinese character. 男 labor At the schoolhouse, the administration develops the children's muscles by making them do manual labour. 労 recruit The necromancer hangs out at the local graveyard and uses his dark powers to recruit an army of undead. 募 inferiority I have an inferiority complex because I have few muscles! (Image: Arnold laughing at a weakling on the beach with few muscles). 劣 achievement The great achievements of humankind, were crafts completed by muscle power: the pyramids, the Eiffel tower, etc. 功 persuade The crafty Pegasus persuades stupid Conan that he, Pegasus, should ride on Conan's back, and not the other way around. Picture it! The power of persuasion... 勧 toil A guy who depends only on his muscles lives a life of toil. 努 encourage 10,000 lemmings, an invisible power seems to be encouraging them to dive off the cliff. 励 add This is Power Mouth, the most annoying neighbour in the world who always has something to add. 加 congratulations Congratulations are so much better when you add money to them. 賀 erect Are you having a problem with erectile disfunction? Just add Viagra. You'll have wood in no time! 架 armpit The part of Conan's body that is three times more effective at defeating foes than his muscles are his stinky armpits. 脇 threaten Arnold S. (triceps) threatens to kill the waiter if he does not put a steak (meat) infront of him immediately. 脅 co- The nurse says: “If you co-operate, that needle (syringe) in your triceps won't hurt”. Note: both co- and cooperate are meanings for this kanji. 協 going pictograph 行 rhythm The calligrapher's brush is moving down a column of a script, in rhythm with his meditation. 律 restore Before going all the way to the Boss in a Final Fantasy game, you should probably double back to save at a restore point. 復 gain To gain more knowledge of what's goin on in the world I'm reading column after column of articles in the newspapers, and it takes so much time I'm glued to it till nightbreak. 得 accompany The line of viking soldiers is always accompanied by a horn mending specialist. 従 junior Obama, the junior senator from Illinois, is going to run for president. 徒 wait A line queued up outside the Buddhist temple, waiting to see the shrine on New Year's Day. 待 journey Parties should stay in a single-file line and carry a candlestick while journeying through an unknown dungeon in an RPG. 往 subjugate To subjugate is to have somebody stand still and stiff as a column and behave one hundred percent correctly. 征 diameter Scientists recently measured the diameter of Earth by drilling a deep hole and dropping a line of thread off a humongous spool until it got to the other side. 径 he What's the main difference between a he and a she? The he has a column covered in a pelt... a penis. Badum-ching. 彼 duty Japanese kamikaze pilots (and the American from Dr. Strangelove) are so devoted to their duty that they go with their missiles. 役 benevolence In a rare act of benevolence, the Sparten goes to remove the needle from the cyclops's eye, and he repays them by eating their hearts. 徳 penetrate Penetrate = "goes into." As in the lessons of the taskmaster penetrating the minds of those he his bringing up. 徹 indications If you see a column of kings being marched up the mountain under a taskmaster's whip... indications are, there has been a coup. 徴 penal Judge: You will serve a penal sentence until indications show you have a heart. 懲 delicate The Column of 300 spartans were in a delicate situation. They had travelled in one line (using only their legs) to the mountain pass to face the fierce Persian task master. 微 boulevard the "Harvard Boulevard" is covered with ivy (just like Harvard University). 街 equilibrium To maintain the social equilibrium in a future dystopian society, the brains of citizens are bound up (hypnotized). The government is using mental wave emitting statues shaped like St. Bernard's dogs put alongside the boulevards. 衡 draft The first draft of catcher in the rye was actually called "catcher in the tall wheat"...good thing they changed it. 稿 earnings Your earnings allow you to bring home your daily bread (made of wheat, naturally). 稼 extent The wheat crop has come in, and the mouth of the king is gobbling it all up. Everyone is waiting to see... to what extent will the king manage to eat it this year? 程 tax Nobody likes the tax man, so here it is only fitting that the person who comes over to take some of your wheat is depicted here as a devil. 税 immature Immature turkeys are stuffed with wheat to make it look bigger. 稚 harmony Tasty wheat brings true harmony to the mouth. 和 shift Many people are making the shift from white to whole wheat bread. 移 second An hourglass filled with wheat counts time. A few wheat seeds drop every second. 秒 autumn After the wheat harvest, the farmers have a bonfire to celebrate the autumn season. 秋 distress In autumn, the farmer's heart is in distress as to if he has enough crops. Even better, the farmer will experience great distress in his heart if his wheat catches fire! 愁 private Warning sign: "Private wheat, trespassers will be elbowed". 私 regularity Increase your regularity by eating wheat-bran cereal to improve the regularity of your drops in the bathroom. 秩 secret The prize at the bottom of a cereal box is invariably a secret decoder ring. 秘 appellation Taking appellation to mean the act of naming, we have the little baby superman reclining in the space craft that landed in a wheat field. Mr. and Mrs. Kent look down and decide to call him Clark. 称 profit 1. Steal a bunch of wheat from a wheat field by cutting it down with your saber.|2. ?????|3. Profit! 利 pear tree The Japanese pear tree is the most profitable in the world, because it produces its fruit in pairs [sorry for the awful pun]. 梨 harvest Wheat is harvested; the grain (flower) is put into vessels for shipping. 穫 ear of a plant The pilgrims only had wheat, so they asked the Indians to do them a favor and trade them for some ears of corn. 穂 rice plant The rice plant is common in Japan because all the wheat was eaten by vultures in the olden times. 稲 incense When the sun burns the wheat a smell of incense remains in the air. 香 seasons There's a season for planting wheat and there's mating season for having children. 季 committee Female wheat farmers decide to create a committee, which they fittingly name “The wheat women committee.”. 委 excel You spend three hours putting all of your wheat sale transaction records into Microsoft Excel, when suddenly it crashes, so you put your fist through the monitor. 秀 transparent To excel on the road you need your front windshield to be transparent. If it is covered in ice or snow, you're screwed. 透 entice Word and Excel somehow manage to entice people to use them, despite their plethora of bugs. 誘 cereals There are different cereals in different parts of the world. Japan has samurai cereal. Great Britain has Crowned Wheat ... the United States and Russia have Missile cereals. 穀 germ Can also mean bacteria...imagine the wheat pent in your fridge growing to the point where they resemble flowers...I actually had something similar happen to onions...they grew footlong legs after about 2 or 3 years... 菌 rice Two drops of rice in a tree. 米 flour In the United States, part of every meal is made from flour. 粉 sticky This is another way of fortune telling -- throw sticky rice against the wall, and look for the message in whatever sticks. 粘 grains A sage is using rice to fill up a vase, but as an exercise in patience, he's doing it grain by grain. 粒 cosmetics Condy Rice is actually white, but she uses special cosmetics made from dirt she found in a cave to appear black - it's better for the political situation. 粧 astray The road that the USA is heading down is, well... let's just say that they're astray... 迷 chic In extremely chic restaurants, you have to pay 90 bucks for a bowl of rice. 粋 provisions All Japanese provisions contain a certain quantity of rice... they eat it with just about every meal! 糧 chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum flower consists of many tiny petals, just like many rice grains bound up together. 菊 core In the core of a nuclear reactor, scientists have discovered a way to get power from rice, by penting it in under high pressure. It's very dangerous, so they've trained a st. bernard dog to run things, he's adding more drops of rice as necessary. 奥 number Women toil in the rice fields carrying heavy sacks of rice to be numbered and counted by the taskmaster. 数 watchtower The young taskmaster uses a tree as a watchtower to get a better view of his rice-carrying women. "I can seeeee you! One! Two! Three!". 楼 sort What sort of person comes from the U.S.? Well, some would say a person with a big head. 類 lacquer lacquer is a type of watery type of liquid used to protect items made from trees, sort of an umbrella of protection. So protective, you can carry around rice in the laquered, wooden product. 漆 Esq. Here we have the requirements to be counted among the ranks of the noble Esq. You must posses a forested estate, herds of sheep, and granary full of rice. 様 request Robin Hood holds his rich victim at arrowpoint and kindly requests that he hands over his grains of rice. 求 ball Someone files a request to see the family jewels and, to their surprise, you show them your balls! 球 salvation Like in the biblical sense, someone looks skyward and makes a request for salvation from this horrible taskmaster... 救 bamboo pictograph 竹 laugh When the people tried to build a tower of bamboo to reach the heavens, the gods just laughed and laughed. 笑 bamboo hat Just cause you're standing with bamboo on your head, doesn't mean it's a bamboo hat! 笠 bamboo grass The bamboo generation smokes bamboo grass. 笹 muscle Lifting bamboo sticks is an old way for your body to put on lots of muscle. 筋 box The best kind of box is made from bamboo sticks that are inter-laced to make it air tight. 箱 writting brush Bamboo is the best material from which to make a writting brush. 筆 cylinder Seriously, all bamboo sticks look the same, just long cylinders. 筒 etc "So what'd you see in Japan?" - "Bamboo, temples...etc.". 等 calculate Before the time of digital calculators, people used old school calculators made of bamboo (abacus). It's not as easy as a calculator, but you don't need any batteries either. All you need are your eyes and your two hands. 算 solution The solution to this puzzle is, like the match stick game, to make the bamboo pieces fit together. 答 scheme The temples in kyoto belt bamboo around trees in a scheme to protect them from the huge number of tourists. 策 register Note : the keyword is not a verb, think of a record book. This acupuncturist who uses bamboo in place of flowers to dilute water into his patients, managed somehow to appear on the register of acupuncturists. Chances are, he won't stay on the register for long. 簿 fabricate Bamboo crafting is a mediocre substitute for wood when you are building or fabricating a house. 築 person 人 assistant Mr T's assistant is on his left. Why? Because Mr T has this bad habit of suddenly extending his right arm (what with all the boxing that he did), and his assistant got inadvertently punched in the face more than once (ouch). So now his assistant is always to his left side, much safer (“the assistant is on Mr T's left side”). 佐 however However drunk Mr T is when he comes back to his place, he always get up at nightbreak. “I pity da foo who gets up after nightbreak !”, says Mr. T. . 但 dwell Mister T dwells in a big brass candlestick, the flame of which serves as a beacon for the boats in the nearby harbour. Sometimes in the morning, Mister T has to clear the wax that has landed and solidified in front of the door. 住 rank In martial arts, you reach the highest RANK if you can stand against a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris (person). Unfortunately, when Chuck Norris performs a roundhouse kick, the only one that is left standing is Chuck Norris. 位 go between When negotiating a hostage situation, Mr. T acted as the go-between, or person in the middle, for law enforcement and the terrorist. 仲 body Mister T works out his body (body-building), using a pile of books. 体 remote Mr. T ventured out into a remote area to visit with his wise, old taskmaster who must use a walking stick to get around and originally gave Mr. T the heart to fight crime for the good of the community. 悠 affair Note: this kanji refers to event or case. Current Affair headline: Mr. T has affair with cow. "It's only animal 'man' enough for me". 件 attend Mr. T has become a samurai. Now he has to attend his feudal lord. "I pity da foo don't attend to his lord", says Mr. T. 仕 other It's one or the other: fight Mr. T, or be thrown into the scorpion pit. 他 prostrated Mr T has beaten up the chihuahua, who lies prostrated in front of him. "Now," Mr T says, "I quiero some Taco Bell!". 伏 transmit Mister T transmits a message with rising clouds (smoke) signals, to a nearby American Indian tribe. The smoke signals spell : "I p-i-t-y y-o-u f-o-o !". 伝 buddha Mr. T says, "I ain't afraid o' no foo! I'll give anyone an elbow to the face, I don't care if it's Buddha himself!". 仏 rest Chuck norris rests againsts the tree, but wait, no... the tree rests and stands against him. 休 provisional Mr T and Clint Eastwood (The classic antihero) team up to negotiate with the Provisional IRA. 仮 cheif If Mr T was white I am sure he would have been commander in chief of the USA, he just the sort of clown Americans love to vote for. 伯 vulgar Mr. T says, "Don't be like them valley girls, always speaking vulgar language and acting all vulgar! They ain't nothing but foos!". 俗 faith Mr. T has faith in the Word of God. (Image: Mr. T kneeling and prayering in front of a bible. "Pity me, fool."). 信 excelent Mr T wants to go to an excellent school, so he enrolls in Harvard, an ivy-league school. 佳 reliant Mr T is reliant (depends on) on his garment (the gold chains). 依 example Mr. T always sets a good example by filing his taxes early. "I pita da foo who files his taxes late!". 例 individual Mr. T is a hardened individual. 個 healthy Mr. T in a public service announcement yells, "I'm healthy because every day I build a food pyramid, foo!". 健 side Mr. T rulezzz! I am on his side! 側 waiter Mr. T infiltrates the secret samurai Buddhist temple as a waiter with a tray of green tea. 侍 halt "Halt foo" - Mr T acting as a bouncer at the pavillion. 停 price Mr. T (person) tells the used car salesman to tell him the real price straight away, and when he doesn't he throws him through the windshield. 値 emulate Mr T downloads an emulator so that he can play his favorite game, Pokemon. He plays for a different reason, though - he hates to see them poor little foos in the ball so he spends his entire time setting them free. 倣 overthrow The A-Team are planning to overthrow the government. However, they can't do a damn thing until Mr T arrives. 倒 spy Mr. T is a terrible spy. He walks around upright. "Why should I hide?! I've got nothing to be ashamed of!". 偵 buddhist priest While a waiter at the Buddhist temple , Mr T increases in wisdom and becomes a Buddhist priest. 僧 hundred million Mr. T has an clear idea of what he would do if he ever got hundred million dollars. (I guess it would be an enormous gold chain !). 億 ceremony Mr. T is the master of ceremonies because he is a righteous dude. 儀 reparation Mr. T says, "This ain't no prize, foo! This is reparations for slavery!". 償 hermit After living as an hermit for a while in the mountains, Mr. T becomes an immortal mountain fairy ("fairy" is another meaning of this kanji). 仙 sponsor And now a word from our sponsor. We see Mr. T, doing a sort of George Foreman thing, grilling Mountain Turkeys. "I pity da foo who don't have a Mr. T grill!". 催 humanity Mr. T shows his humanity by giving two bucks to every homeless person he sees. 仁 scorn Mr. T has scorn for every fool. 侮 use Mr. T uses the officer as a punching bag. 使 convenience As it grows late, Mr. T is forced to stop the A-Team van at a 7-11. See, slurpies pass right through him, so he makes uses of the convenience store "conveniences.". 便 double Probably the best way to silence Mr T from his endless tirade, is to point the muzzle of a double-barrelled shotgun at him. 倍 tenderness The A-Team is on a mission to help Hamlet. With uncharacteristic tenderness, Mr. T consoles the melancholy Hamlet. "No, I really DO pity the poor foo. There, there little guy...take my hanky". 優 fell At a fiesta, Mr. T tries to knock down a large pinata, but in his overly enthusiastic swings to get "the sucka," he actually fells the tree the piñata is hanging from, crushing some party goers. “I pity da fools who got crushed by my felled tree!”. 伐 inn The Toyoko Inn can house 100 people or 1 Mr. T. 宿 wound Mr. T cannot believe the reclining piggy bank won't give up. He has cut off its legs one by one until it cannot stand, yet, despite being rendered almost completely useless it won't surrender. “It's just a flesh wound!” the reclining piggy bank yells. 傷 protect Mr. T opens his mouth from the top of the tree saying "I pitty da foo who don't protect the trees!". 保 praise Mr. T is praised for his protecting of the trees by being given a top hat and scarf which he wears over his mohawk and chains, respectively. 褒 greatness Mr T stands in front of you, his greatness radiating out from him so brightly. You need to put on your sunglasses and hide behind a tree to even talk to the guy. "Recognise, foo!". 傑 adhere Mr. T says, "Foo, of course I don't sniff glue! I adhere to my own advice to not use drugs!". 付 token At the arcade, Mr. T adheres a bamboo rod to his token so that he can put it in the machine and pull it out repeatedly. 符 municipality A municipality, like any type of government, adheres to having caves for offices 府 responsiblity It is always Mr. T's responsibility to be the porter and carry around everyone's luggage because he's so strong. 任 fare Mr. T carries the luggage on his shoulders as part of his responsibility, but if you want him to carry you too, you must pay him a fare. 賃 substitute The gym teacher asks Mr. T to substitute for him on the day the kids will be shooting arrows for archery class. 代 sack A sack is an easy substitute for a garment. 袋 lend In order for the bank to lend you money, you need to put up some sort of collateral as a substitute for the money. 貸 change Mr. T reaches into his wallet for some spare change but it has all changed into spoons. 化 flower The flowers change with the seasons. 花 freight Countries like to change money by trading freight. 貨 lean I didn't study for the test at all! So what else could I do? When the guy beside me wasn't looking, I leaned over, and changed his page with mine! 傾 what If Mr. T can't do it, what person can? 何 baggage TSA guard: What's in the baggage?! It's just flowers, I swear! 荷 sagacious Since he is not very sagacious, Mr. T failed his driver's license and now needs to resort to his walking legs to get around. 俊 bystander Mr. T is in the street, standing up, wearing an golden crown and a compass in his hand... he's asking the bystander if they know how to get to buckingham palace. 傍 long time 久 furrow A mummy tries to furrow his brow but realizes that he's got no head - just a brain with a top-hat on it. So he furrows his brain. [trigger: furrow your brain]. 畝 captured A person pent in is obviously captured. 囚 inside Mr. T's new belt is huge! When he's inside it, his feet no longer touch the ground! 内 third class In this third class flight, the seatbelts are so bad that with the slightest turbulence all the persons hit the ceiling. (it's almost pictographic here!). 丙 design This is a "design" as in a "pattern", not a verb as in "to design". The tree grain design was too expensive for the third class airline to use for the panelling. They just painted it. 柄 meat A person's inside - fleshy, raw, pink, meat. 肉 rot Smaller municipalities are well known for filling their budgets with pork (meat). Thats why they are also well known for being rotten. 腐 sit Coal mine (cave); tea break time; the assembly line stops and everyone sits or squats on the dirt floor, in a long line, to rest. 座 graduate When you graduate, you wear a hat and graduate in an assembly line while your parents sit on pins and needles because it will take ten years to pay off those loans. 卒 umbrella A pictograph: 4 people sheltering under one big umbrella. 傘 monme "Dude! What happened to your arm! It's all bound up!" "Yeah man, it's a bummer... with my arm like this I can only lift one monme!". 匁 by means of A man earns his living by means of the plow. I imagine a sweating man dragging a bronze-age "ard" behind him as he plows his field himself, too poor to afford an ox. 以 similar Mr. T finds that living by means of dragging a plow is similar to slavery. 似 join Mr. T furiously works a puzzle in an attempt to join Mensa, the high-IQ society. 併 tile Horror scene: Hanging from the ceiling, a plough and fishhook dripping with blood down onto the tiled bathroom floor. 瓦 flower pot A flower pot that has been dropped on the floor is like a puzzle of ceramic tiles to glue together. 瓶 shinto shrine Buddhist shrines are for pussies. You want a house with some backbone, go to a Shinto shrine. 宮 occupation The schoolhouse is the backbone of a foundation that will allow you to find a good occupation 営 virtuous To be virtuous, a good rule to follow is to put your sheepishness (discretion) over your horns (anger) before using your mouth. In other words, "discretion is the better part of virtue". 善 year A horse wears a pair of sunglasses with one lens popped out after a particularly raucous celebration to ring in the New Year. 年 night Here we have Mister T sleepwalking, wearing a top hat as if he was the ambassador of the night, walking, and walking and walking on his tired walking legs, until he drops (back into his bed). 夜 fluid A wet dream........water fluid that comes out at night.... 液 hillock The crowned sow (we met her in overpowering) is standing atop her little mound of earth - hillock - the undisputed champeen of all the pigsty. 塚 cash A counterfeiter is using a shredder to shred a towel in order to print up some cash (he needs some rag paper) . 幣 abuse Mafioso abusing someone to get information. They use a shredder on both of his hands. 弊 yell Think yelp when you hear yell to help dinstinguish this from shout (1508). I think of the sounds that would come from the mouths of the 4 dogs if they were bound up together. I'm imagining lots of yelping. 喚 interchange After months of practice, you finally managed to teach a nice trick to your sled-pulling four bound up St. Bernard dogs: one snap of your fingers and they interchange their positions. 換 dissolve I have created the element "old camera" out of the left side of the kanji: from the subject's point of view, the light is captured by one mouth (the lens). The photographer is under a big hood, we only see his legs, and he is holding a spike in his right hand, which is the shutter release. Now, at the time the photographer takes the photo, a little insect is flying near the flash. The flash is so powerful that the insect is burnt and dissolves in the air. 融 alms Under their banner, volunteers are requesting alms for scorpion sting victims. 施 rotation A merry-go-round with a big banner on top and below a veritable zoo of bakelite animals on poles in perpertual rotation accompanied by silly music. Giraffes, elephants, zebras, rhinos... 旋 play There is always a stupid banner talking about children at play near the road. They mean "drive slowly", but it sounds like its slow(stupid) children that are at play. 遊 trip After a long long trip, what once was a proud beautiful banner, we had nothing more than a simple rag remaining. 旅 not This kanji is NOT a piglett. 勿 thing The cow's "thing" is tied in a knot! ouch. 物 easy The sun is not an easy place to get to. 易 grant A grant is easy money. 賜 urine Someone is pissing on the American flag, but since the urine is clear it looks like water. 尿 nun A nun sits in protests under an American flag. 尼 mud Water monks live in a den, but water nuns live in the mud. 泥 fence Soil fenced as a puzzle : find your way out of the labyrinth. If you can't, just follow the flags. 塀 footgear You should never use a flag as a shoeshine cloth to restore your footgear. 履 roof Flag at the climax (highest point) of a castle roof. 屋 grip Fingers gripping the roof as your about to fall to your death. Think of an action scene in some movie. 握 yield When yielding, soldiers raise the white flag before exiting from the trenches. 屈 dig When you dig, you'd better hope that whatever you're digging into yields to your fingers. If not, you're bound to lose some nails. 掘 ditch The yielding army abandons it's patch of soil, leaving behind a landscape of ditchs and trenches. Trench warfare. 堀 reside A humongous American flag in Florida marks the place where all the old people reside. 居 set The man set his finger firmly on the map and said "Here is where they reside, I am certain of it". 据 stratum The strata have piled up in an ever increasing pile of dirt. As the geologists go down the rocks, they flag each stratum with the name of the corresponding era. 層 bureau They do nothing at the bureau other than repeating the stupid catchphrase they have on their flag. 局 slow A sheep crossing guard waves a slow flag for his fellow sheep crossing the road. 遅 leak water always leaked in the spot left by the flag planted in the roof everytime it rained. Not too hard to picture a hole left in the ceiling from a flag, now leaking water. 漏 printing We printed a japanese flag on his white towel by stabbing him with a saber while he was wearing it. 刷 shaku The key word shaku has actually come into English in the word shakuhachi, the ancient Japanese flute that measured “one shaku and eight sun” (the “sun” being about an inch in length). Since the shaku is about one foot in length, this makes about 20 inches. Let the final sweeping stroke be like a tape measure added to the flag. [4] 尺 exhaust A women is so exhausted by her "shakuhachi" that see needs to ice her jaw. 尽 swamp You're hiding from the enemy underwater in a swamp. To breathe, you have your shakuhachi flute poking up through the surface of the water. 沢 translate I can't translate the words my girl says as she is "playing the shakuhachi".. 訳 choose The fingers on the Shakuhachi "choose" the notes. 択 daytime Roosters in Japan are very civilised, they play the shakuhachi at nightbreak to signify the beginning of daytime. 昼 door Traditional Japanese storefront doors have several flags, known as "noren," hanging down from a curtain rod in front of them. I see this as a pseudo-pictograph, and use the horizontal line across the top to represent the curtain rod, since noren don't usually hang from the ceiling. 戸 shoulder The shoulder is the best part of the body to bash a door open with (Don't ever try this. Use your foot). 肩 tassel When you graduate from a school, after they gave you your tassel, they shove you to the door and give you a compass saying "Sayonara & Good Luck out there!" 房 fan It's insanely hot today! I'm standing in the doorway, fanning myself with feathers. 扇 hearth -"Honey? Do we have any wood left for the hearth?" -"Aagh, just use the frickin' door!". 炉 re- The St. Bernard dog whining at the door of his master’s house in order to re-enter / re-turn inside. 戻 tears I see the story of Hachiko: the faithfull dog who still waited for his master to return long after he had died. Brings a tear to the eye. I waited for you Fry. 涙 employ Our company has no standards. We'll employ any turkey who walks in the door. 雇 look back I was employed to give head...when I look back, maybe that was not a wise career move. 顧 disclose Behind closed doors, the taskmaster tortures to get prisoners to open their mouths and disclose information. 啓 show A boy made an altar, but he's afraid to show it to God because he thinks it's two little. 示 salutation "Indy, my friend, you must be very careful! If you approach the altar and do not give the proper salutation a large fishhook will rip you away". 礼 auspicious Bringing a sheep to sacrifice on the altar was a sign of an auspicious life. The poor could only afford a pigeon, the more auspicious an expensive sheep for an offering. 祥 celebrate It's a Bar Mitzvah. At the altar, the teenager is singing in his awful, mid-puberty voice. We'll all celebrate when that part is over! 祝 blessing This recalls the selling of indulgences in the history of the Church. Basically, one gave wealth to the altar (i.e. priest) and received a blessing. 福 welfare And in front of every altar, she stopped to pray for the welfare of the others. 祉 company When you enter a Japanese company it's like you join a cult... your workdesk becomes your altar and you worship the very soil the office is built on. 社 inspection The beaurocracy in Japan is such that even altars need to be inspection approved. A little man with glasses comes once a year to give the altar a "visual once over" as he calls it (perhaps checking for unauthorised symbology?). 視 Nara It's beautiful place, but the dark side of Nara is that they sacrifice St. Bernards on evil altars every night after the tourists leave! 奈 military officer Of course it had to be the military officer's idea to glue a national flag to the altar he's stationed at. 尉 consolation A military officer must offer consolation to the hearts of the families of his fallen men. 慰 goodwill The samurai is on the altar, preaching about goodwill. The audience just yawns however, they want to see the man fight! 款 prohibition Similar to radical tyro's story. If you live in Japan, your main exposure to this kanji is probably "no smoking" signs. So I imagine the government enacting a prohibition of tobacco, and burning whole groves of tobacco plants on an altar (the altar of public health, or self-righteousness, if you will). 禁 collar A collar is the part of your cloak that, if tightened too tight, will prohibit breathing. 襟 religion I never really did figure out what religion my host family was - all I knew was that they kept an altar in their home. 宗 adore I would adore the religious people if they just went and threw themselves off a mountain top. 崇 ritual A ritual such as a circumcision: a small piece of flesh from the crotch is left on the altar. 祭 guess I have an informed guess about whose house the dark rituals are performed at. 察 grate When you grate something you have to guess where your fingers are so you don't hurt yourself. 擦 wherefore pictograph 由 pluck Each time this singular, long, wiry black hair starts to sprout out of my chin again, I pluck it with my fingers. 抽 oil In a rather surprising scientific breakthrough, genetically modified Brussel sprouts (which have become extremely absorbative), are thrown in the water to suck up oil spills. 油 sleeve If it had sleeves, it wouldn't be a cloak, now would it? But if you insist, I suppose I could use my majic to have some sleeves just sprout out from the shoulders. . . 袖 mid-air Jack's beanstalk sprouted up, pushed at the roof and lifted the house so that it hangs in mid-air suspended on the sprout. 宙 deliver When the mail is delivered, a flag sprouts up on your mailbox. 届 flute Flute is made of bamboo sprout. 笛 axis The Germans manufactured so many cars during World War II that it was almost as if they were sprouting from the factories of the Axis. 軸 armor It looks like a bird's eye view of a tank (modern armor). 甲 push Use your fingers to make sure the roots of your plant are deep underground by pushing them down, down, down. 押 headland A headland is a mountain that is firmly rooted despite being surrounded on 3 sides by water. (Just like your head is a mountain surrounded by air on 3 sides, a headland!). 岬 insert A rice farmer's delicate fingers have inserted 1,000 rooted seedlings into his field. 挿 speaketh I imagine thomeone who can not pronounth the "s" and speaketh like thith becauth they have a cane in their mouth. 申 expand Here we see Mr. T. expanding his gang with some trained fighter monkeys. 伸 gods The Gods are gathered around debating Zeus' latest purchase for Mount Olympus. A huge and extremely kitsch gilded altar in the shape of giant "speak no evil" monkey. Hera decides she will never let him go shopping alone again . 神 search The monkey searches around with his fingers for his crotch. 捜 fruit If only Eve had used her brains and not taken the forbidden fruit from the tree. 果 candy This candy is made in the shape of a flower, each petal with the taste of a different fruit. 菓 chapter The words in each chapter are the fruit of the author's labour. 課 naked Here we have Adam and Eve eating of the forbidden fruit and realizing they were naked, and so clothing themselves in a cloak. 裸 axe pictograph 斤 chop This more accurately means "take apart" or "analyse", so I guess, once you chop down the tree with an axe, you can analyse its structure. 析 place At the lumberjack's place, he keeps an axe by the door at all times. 所 pray Religious freedom has not always been respected throughout history, and nobody knew how to force religion on an indigenous people like the Spanish missionaries. They posted conquistadors at either side of the altars at the local missions, and if anybody refused to pray, they would get the axe. 祈 near The end is near. The axe-murderer is waiting for you on the road... 近 fold Fold some origami into the shape of an axe with your fingers. It's even as sharp, so watch out for paper cuts! 折 philosophy A two-hour lesson of philosophy in high school. All the students, bored to death, are folding sheets of paper into planes, love notes or whatever, while the mouth of the teacher is talking about Platon, Kierkegaard and many other notorious philosophers. 哲 departed The departed are those who have crossed that fold you cannot see past in the road we all walk. 逝 vow After cutting himself badly, Socrates vowed never to fold origami again. 誓 temporarily Your car has been savagely attacked by an ax. It will be some days before your car is fixed. So you are temporarily without car. 暫 steadily Steadily dripping water is just as bad for a car as an axe. 漸 serverance A man puts some rice on a fishhook as bait, but catches a fish so strong, he needs to take out his axe and sever the line lest he be dragged into the depths. 断 substance What is this substance on this clam? I've already broken 2 axes on it! 質 reject The quality expectations are very high in our axe manufacturing facility. If there's one drop of rust on any axe, it gets rejected. 斥 accusation Usually the words of accusation are rejected by the accused. 訴 yesterday One can use a simple word play to remember this character - the day that I saw before today was yesterday. 昨 lie Pinnochio gets frustrated that every time he utters a word of a lie, his nose grows and he has to get the saw out again. 詐 make Mr T.'s favorite magazine is Make. He loves to make things. But he's a purist: he only uses saws, no power tools. 作 snow Rain that undergoes a change so that it can be swept aside with a broom is snow. [11] 雪 record A monk won a gold metal for breaking the current record for most swept rice in one minute. 録 inquire The policed inquired into the erotica scandal. They tried to sweep away the evidence, but some of it stuck. (Note: katakana エロ ero in the middle of this kanji is the Japanese word for erotica.). 尋 hurry She was always bound to a broom, her heart pounding in a hurry to finish before she was punished for being slow. 急 calm A Calm day: the vulture is flying above the wheat fields, where there's a a scarecrow made with a broom with an heart painted on the shirt (like oz scarecrow). 穏 encroach Mr T. hits a condom salesman (broom + crown + crotch) over the head with a broom because the dude encroached Mr. T's privates area during the sale. 侵 immersed After being hit in the head with the broom, the condom salesman immersed his head in some water. 浸 lie down After being hit on the head, the condom salesman goes back to his house to lie down. He hasn't made a single sale today, so he doesn't have enough money to buy a pillow. He lies down on his pet turtle and cries himself to sleep. 寝 lady The lady of the house is nothing more than a woman who's a houswife (broom and apron anyone?). 婦 sweep fingers of the housewife (in itself, holding a broom, with an apron) busily sweep the floor. 掃 hit Some mothers use a small broom to hit their children when they misbehave. 当 contend A boxing ring is bound up by the ropes. The contender is cheating and using a rake. 争 clean Bottled water marketers contend to make their version of tap water sound the cleanest. 浄 matter Just one word about this matter from your mouth and you will find this rake across it. 事 T'ang(some chinese time) I imagine that people from the T'ang dinasty looked a bit like cartoony asians, with teeth so prominent that looked like rakes on their mouth. They felt ridiculous about that, so they usually hid on caves, wishing for a dinasty with better depictions. 唐 sugar Sugar made from rice has a tangy flavour. 糖 sane A psychiatric hospital is located in a cave. To determine, which patients are sane and can be released, they are given a sieve and asked to empty a bathtub (the sane ones take out the plug and get the water out with ease). 康 apprehend Think police roadblocks. They act like road sieves, letting good people through but apprehending criminals. 逮 Italy The "boot" of Italy has gotten Europe all muddy. Who else could mop it up but Mr T? 伊 old boy The Beatles, english old boys, had hairs like mop and a good singing mouth. 君 flock Fans flocked like sheep at Beatles - old boys concerts. 群 -proof My comb is rust-proof, water-proof, and fire-proof. But unfortunately it is not idiot-proof--and I glued it to myself. 耐 demand Supply and demand is a simple concept: when it rains, the demand for combs goes up to deal with wet hair. 需 Confucian No more Confucian jibba-jabba! I demand you tell me why it's raining combs!". 儒 edge He valianty stood at the mountain's edge... and proceed to comb his hair for the photographs. 端 both Both effective ways to commit suicide, hang your self from the celing with your belt or jump off a mountain. 両 full Add water THEN the flowers. With both the vase will be full. 満 brush stroke You decide one day to paint a kanji on your ceiling. Unfortunately, you don’t have a brush, so, being innovative, you use a sprout. Knowing it could be messy, you search for a drop-cloth, but can’t find one. Instead, you put a shovel down on the floor to catch any drips resulting from the brush strokes. 画 tooth Stop shoveling rice into your mouth, you'll hurt a tooth! Use chopsticks instead. 歯 bend It looks like the mouth of Bender the robot. 曲 cadet Bender lasted just one day in the space cadets. 曹 encounter The space cadet encounters aliens on the road. 遭 rowing The space cadet is in training, rowing in the water 漕 vat Also as part of some army survival exercise, the cadets are sent into the woods to build a vat (for collecting water for example). 槽 big dipper pictograph (means 18L) 斗 fee When buying rice, the fee is calculated by the cup. Naturally we don't just use any cup; it has to be a proper measuring cup. 料 department University departments study things like wheat (agriculture) and the big dipper (physics/astronomy). 科 map A map is square, and pent up within it, dot, dot, x marks the spot. 図 utilize To tenderize meat in an emergency wilderness situation, just utilize your walking stick! 用 comfortable To live a comfortable life, single men need only a cave for living, a rake for cleaning and a screwdriver for fixing. 庸 equip Mr. T wants to climb up and pick the flowers at the top of the cliff. He equips himself with screwdrivers to use as climbing spikes to reach the top of the cliff. Imagine a large ammo belt full of philips screwdrivers instead of bullets. 備 once upon a time Once upon a time, the children were forced to eat their salad every day. 昔 confused A long time ago, people of the world got confused because there were so many kinds of Metal coins. today we only have the euro. 錯 borrow Once upon a time I let Mr T borrow my salad bowl, but he won't give it back. "This be mine now, foo!". 借 pity What a pity! My state of mind when i think of the opportunities I missed from once upon a time. 惜 set aside "Once upon a time..." Oh hell, you're just too old for this. You close your fairy tale book and set it aside, pushing it away with your fingers. 措 scatter The taskmaster is dissatisfied with the meal she's served, and scatters the salad & meat across the floor for the servants to clean up. 散 twenty A generation is 30, one stroke less is twenty 廿 commoner Commoners have to huddle in caves around a campfire, while higher class people get heating and central air conditioning in a hotel. 庶 intercept The commoners are revolting! We must intercept them on the road before they reach the castle! 遮 seat Remember those poor commoners huddled in groups of 20 in a cave? The only thing they had for a seat was some old toweling (while their lords could recline on luxurious couches). 席 degrees The cavern refugees are so poor that they can't afford thermometers. So, the menfolk expose their crotches inside the cavern, and approximate the temperature in degrees from how shrivelled everything looks downstairs... 度 transit This particular form of transit is a ferry (one of the actual meanings of this character). Naturally it can only cross the water if it's not frozen, so the temperature must be above 0 degrees. 渡 bustle Hustle and bustle = a big St. Bernard dog frisking about in a haystack, knocking it down and spreading the hay about, after the field hands just stacked it up. 奔 erupt History of Pompei: An unexpect eruption and from the mouths of the volcano come lava that threatens the farmers collecting haystacks in the fields and the fisherman catching shells on the coast. 噴 tomb After the eruption all is a tomb. The soil has covered the remains of the farmers gathering haystacks and of the fisherman collecting shells. 墳 aroused Note: this word in Japanese has the idea of "indignant". So aroused here refers to being aroused because of anger over some unjust or wrong act, unfairness etc. It doesn't seem to carry a meaning associated with arousal in the sense of sex or pleasure. So, my story: think of the angry state of mind aroused at finding all your clams buried under your haystack stolen, gone! 憤 bake Ah, there's no better way to bake a pizza than an oven fueled by a burning strawman. And if you listen carefully, there are stifled strawman screams coming from the kitchen. 焼 daybreak The sun rising beside a straw man in a corn field is a classic cartoon depiction of daybreak. 暁 half Imagine karate chopping the number three in half with a walking stick and pausing the picture just as the first "board" breaks. 半 consort Mr. T wants to splits himself in half so he can be his own consort. 伴 paddy-ridge A paddy-ridge divides the rice field in half. 畔 judgement See book. Solomon made his judgment and decided to cut a baby in half with his saber. Good thing he found the real mom before that happened! 判 ticket Entering the movie, the dude asks for your ticket, so he can tear it in half. He looks at you funny when you hand him a ticket already torn in half. He quietly tears the stub into quarters after you show him your dagger with a smile. 券 scroll At a mysterious bazaar, you happen to come across something interesting: a rolled-up scroll for only 25¢. You buy it up impulsively until you realize that the powerful spell contained within is cursed by a poisonous snake. If you try to cast this spell, the snake will pop out of nowhere and bite you! Hrmph. No wonder it was so cheap... 巻 sphere If the area of the page is outside the sphere of your screen size, you have to scroll vertically or horizontally so that the display on your screen display is not pent in by physical dimensions. 圏 victory After your victory cut your enemy's flesh into quarters to show your power. 勝 wisteria According to legend, the great Ogaki wisteria tree grew and flowered from magical rice grains that were planted under the quarter moon. 藤 facsimile Sending a facsimile to the moon can be problematic only a quarter of the words actually get there. 謄 one sided I am in a one-sided relationship. Always on my knee offering gifts. Should have married an ugly girl! 片 printing block Before the advent of printers in Japan, typewriters couldn't be built as they were in the west due to how many kanji there are. Lots of small printing blocks had to be used instead. One side of the printing block would have a mirrored (anti) image of the kanji. This is true. 版 of "Hey Zorro, would you sign my chest?" "Why of course!" Long story short: he didn't use a pen... 之 destitution Zorro drops in to save the destitute people of Spain. 乏 turf Zorro, with a flower between his teeth for the ladies, defends his turf against evildoers. "This is my turf! And this...is for the lady.". 芝 negative Mr. T hanging from the ceiling being tortured. He is asked if he is going to talk. Spitting (a drop of saliva) in the torturer`s face, he says "Negative". 不 negate Negative mouths negate everything. 否 cupfuls The maple tree is very negative about it, but the farmer still collects cupfuls of maple syrup from it. 杯 dart Zeus ran out of lightning bolts and has to drop darts from the heavens. 矢 rectify Angels have now been given a powerful tool to rectify human behavior instantly, without delay - they have been allowed to drop darts on those who misbehave... 矯 tribe With a banner declaring "Keep Out!" and blow darts to back it up, the Amazon tribe is not that friendly. 族 know "You know too much..." and then the FBI agent shot the witness in the neck with a blow dart by blowing it with his mouth. 知 wisdom Wisdom is knowing everything over the sun (fools assume everything under). 智 halberd pictograph 矛 tender Use a halberd to tenderize a tree: halberds can chop, poke, and slash, so it's all good! 柔 task It is with the halberd he holds that the taskmaster exerts his power over those actually performing the task. 務 fog This fog is the perfect weather for us to perform our task undetected. 霧 squad Here we have two kings trying out for the cheer-leading squad. A spear on the floor separates their dancing areas. 班 homecoming At Agamemnon's homecoming, his lady Clytemnestra was waiting for him with a spear. 帰 bow pictograph 弓 pull Put a walking stick in the bow and pull it back, ready to fire at the geezer. 引 condolences Perhaps a pictograph of a soldier's weapons--his sword and bow-placed ceremonially over his body before burial, while people offer their condolences. 弔 vast If you pull the bow back with your elbow, you can shoot a vast distance. 弘 strong The vast majority of insects are pretty strong; ants can carry 10x their weight! 強 weak Frozen bows are weak and brittle. 弱 seethe I seethe (and not only from the heat)when i found out how many dollars one water bottle costs in this desert! 沸 expense A dollar sign next to an amount of money denotes an expense. 費 No. The No. 1 currency in the world is the dollar. But, the Asian nations are fast catching up and may in reality have already surpassed it. So, let the bamboo represent the No. 2 currencies (the yen, etc.). The reverse order (bamboo on top and the dollar on the bottom) is really a look at the future. 第 younger brother Younger brothers are always more prone to mischief. Mine, you can almost see the little horns on him and the dollar signs on his eyes when he comes up with a money-making scheme. 弟 adriot Adroit: dextrous, deft, skillful. Snare is a little generic so I'll use BEAR TRAP, with huge teeth cartoon style that snares you around the ankle. In the crafting of a bear trap, one must be particularly adroit. Otherwise they will become the victim of their down device. 巧 nickname My nickname is "No Lips". Yep, I shouldn't have put my mouth on that bear trap... 号 decay This snare isn't terribly effective, because it's swinging from a decaying tree. Imagine the tree as being so decayed that when an animal gets caught in the snare, its struggles cause the tree to collapse into a putrid mess. 朽 boast The hunter's boast: I say, it was a "big one", but the snare broke and it got away. (credit to many others before). 誇 dirty Something dirty needs to be immersed in water. In fact it's so filthy you hold it by a hook. Note the water level marked across the hook. 汚 bestow David went to battle with a slingshot and it only took him one shot to slay Goliath. Partly because of this, the prophet Nathan was later instructed to bestow upon David the throne of all Israel. 与 copy A crown was bestowed to the British royalty museum, but it was only a copy. 写 somebody Somebody was just looking for you. He had a longnose that reaches down below his mouth, and a long jaw that sticks out past his nose, and a scar across his face. 身 shoot You shoot somebody with a glue-gun. 射 apologize Dick Cheney... 謝 old man Old man sits in the dirt, having a stroke. 老 consider Before shooting an old man with a slingshot, one shold carefully consider the possible consequences. 考 filial piety This child has taken filial piety to the next level. He is actually carrying the old man on his shoulders. 孝 teach In early Japan, filial piety was the cornerstone of education, and harsh taskmasters were employed to teach it. 教 torture In Torture 101 class they teach you to Consider the Fingers as the first part to inflict pain to. Then you can move on to other parts (like feet, groin, head, etc. etc.. 拷 someone The old man was someone in days gone by. 者 boil There is a lesser known voodoo practice of boiling a puppet over an oven fire, to really make your victim feel the heat! 煮 renouned Here I am, putting a wreath of flowers on my love doll's head and pretending she is someone of great renowned. 著 signature Someone looking askance at my love doll's signature on a waiver of liablility... 署 sultry Ahh, a fine sultry day with my love doll under the hot sun. I think she's getting a tan! 暑 various Because i get tired of saying the same old thing, I have lately been trying to use various terms of endearment to my love doll. I think she appreciates it too. 諸 boar My love doll is made of special pheremone impregnated vinyl. Unfortunately, a pack of wild dogs mistook her for a wild boar and tore her to pieces. Oh dear! 猪 strand I was stranded on a desert island surrounded by water for hundreds of miles on end. I wasn't upset though - I had my love doll! What a great strand of sand to be stranded on - just me and my love doll! 渚 gamble People who gamble compulsively are like puppets controlled by money. 賭 gorge A gorge is where God has cut into a mountain with a pair of scissors. 峡 cramped In a cramped space, a brave man holds offpack of wild dogs with only a pair of scissors. 狭 sandwiched Fingers sandwiched between a pair of scissors. Don't not move or else! 挟 chase Maestro, coattails flapping wildly, is being chased down the road by his fans. 追 expert A maestro in a large auditorium with high ceilings is conducting his orchestra of expert musicians at a fever-pitch, sweat pouring out of him. When the piece is over he reaches for his towel to wipe his brow. 師 commander The commander is a military maestro who never throws in the towel. 帥 bureaucrat No one likes classical music anymore. Our Maestro is here at home without his baton sighing sadly before he heads off for another day as his new job as a bureaucrat. 官 coffin The maestro at home was sick of being a bureaucrat, so he got some wood and built himself a coffin and got in. 棺 pipe Japanese bureaucrats send all their messages through an inter-office bamboo pipe system. 管 father Luke, I am your father. Darth Vader (really surprised nobody put this one up before: 2 laserswords). 父 mingle My father puts on a top hat and tries to mingle. 交 merit Mingling with the powerful can bring you success, bypassing the need for any merit. 効 contrast The people I had invited to the party were mingling quite well with one another, until they all suddenly started talking about the cars they own. Pretty soon the crowd divided itself into distinct, contrasting crowds: rich snobs with fancy cars, soccer moms with minivans, and hippies with bicycles. 較 exam At the tree where the exam results will be posted all the students mingle in anticipation. 校 leg Captain Ahab lost his leg to the great white whale's mouth and had to mend it with a peg leg. 足 stimulate Mr T, ever the optimist, is trying to stimulate Capt Ahab's wooden leg by rubbing it down. Capt Ahab normally wouldn't let anyone do that, but he appreciates Mr T's stimulating conversation. 促 long-distance Capt Ahab chases a gigantic, one-eyed (if you take Moby Dick a bit more literally), monster over a very long-distance. 距 path When pirates try to hide, it's always easy to find them. Their wooden legs leave distinctive prints, showing where each is hiding and the exact path he took. 路 dew After the rain the path was covered with dew. 露 hop Captain Ahab's peg leg is so sensitive to Moby Dick's presence that when Ahab starts hopping around the deck, it portends trouble. 跳 leap The turkey with a peg leg is trying to leap across the canyon. He flaps his wings wildly and feathers fly but he doesn't make it. 躍 tread The pirate with the wooden leg chased after the parade float and was run over by the next one, leaving tread marks all over him and his leg. 践 step You have to watch your step when moving your leg on a watery day. 踏 skeleton Your body meat is attached to the bone joints of your skeleton. 骨 slippery Don't give water to a skeleton. When he drinks it, it'll sluice right through his bones, forcing you to put one of those "Caution - Slippery Floor" signs up on the resultant puddle. 滑 marrow A skeleton is shuffling along the shoulder of the road, so you pull up next to him and ask where he is going. He says he's going to donate his marrow to the hospital because he got into some financial trouble and lost everything; his marrow is the only thing he still possesses. 髄 calamity Once a year, the people pray for a sign from the gods. But if the gods are feeling particularly mischievous, they'll send down a jawbone to the altar. The people see this as a sign of calamity to come. The gods think of it as an amusing prank. 禍 whirlpool Grampa's flushing the toilet, when his denture (Jawbone) pops out and gets sucked down the whirlpool! 渦 overdo Jaws XII~! Jaws strikes the highway! Man, they're really overdoing it now. 過 Heights If you're scared of Heights, you don't want to stay at The Pinnacle; you are anti- The Pinnacle. 阪 Africa Can you see Africa from The Pinnacle? I can! I can! 阿 occasion On occasian, rituals are held at the very tip of The Pinnacle. 際 hinder The officer at the gate to The Pinnacle with a giant badge sewn to his chest hinders all visitors. But not the handicapped. They're hindered enough already. They're given a badge and can pass right into The Pinnacle 障 follow [Image: Follow the `Yellow-Brick Road' to success] The pinnacle signifies your personal goal and destination. What you're seeking to possess lies at the end of the yellow-brick road. You must follow the road to get what you want. 随 auxiliary In case of emergency, The Pinnacle has auxiliary guard dogs, but they keep them muzzeled until they're needed. 陪 sunshine A kid is perched on a pinnacle with his piggy bank. He uses the coins to catch the sunshine, and redirect it into people's eyes, far below. 陽 line up Every morning at The Pinnacle, the residents line upon the East side for morning stretches and leisure. 陳 ward off A giant compass is The Pinnacle's self-defense system. It points in the direction of any invaders so the city is prepared well ahead to ward off the intruders. 防 affixed A sign was affixed on the pinnacle of the Acropolis so that tourists would adhere to the rules. 附 Institution (suffix) The Institution of The Pinnacle is perfect in every way. It is the new House of God, his chosen city. 院 camp Paparazzi make camp outside of The Pinnacle in their cars, waiting for the celebs to come out. 陣 regiment Every regiment of The Pinnacle's army is lead by a Miss Piggy with a viking helmet on. 隊 crash One of the members of our air force regiment has been shot down; he managed to safely eject, but his plane crashed into the ground. 墜 descend The proper, high-class way to descend The Pinnacle is wearing a monocle with your walking legs splayed to a full gentlemanly stride. 降 story Some stupid kid has pushed all the buttons in the elevator. As it stops at all storys you reach a pinnacle of impatience. Finally you reach your story, the last one, at the pinnacle of the building. 階 highness Your highness is the pinnacle of finesse compared to all of us commoners who are but like dirt on the ground. 陛 neighboring America thinks it is the pinnacle of the world, looking down on all neighboring countries through its mirrored, aviator sunglasses. 隣 isolate The people of the pinnacle isolate themselves, dissolving any outside friendships. 隔 conceal Move the broom with a vulture perched on top, and you'll find the concealed entrance to the heart of The Pinnacle. 隠 degenerate Any attempt to possess the pinnacle will degenerate into a land ("ground") war. 堕 collapse The Pinnacle is actually bound up by supports from olden times. Eventually, they give out, and the whole thing starts to collapse. 陥 hole Billiards anyone? House rules here state that the first person to pot the eight ball into the hole wins the game. 穴 empty Hole-craft is the way of making empty spaces, like the sky. 空 withdraw With my fingers, I punch in my bank code and withdraw some money from my account. And now it's empty again, as usual! 控 stab When you stab something you often leave a big hole. 突 research Scientiest are researching , and have already found nine black holes ! 究 plug up Yet another Freudian kanji - plug up a hole, and the result is climax. Do we really need to spell this out any more explicitly? 窒 stealth This more commonly means "steal", like how a thief cuts a hole to steal the jewels. 窃 depression A depression is a hole in the ground. Water naturally collects there which provides moisture for vines to grow. 窪 squeeze You have trouble squeezing your hand through the hole so you use a saw to enlarge it. 搾 kiln Be sure to put a hole in that ceramic sheep before you put it over the fire. Otherwise, it'll just explode in the kiln. (If you've never done ceramics before, it's important that the object have a hole in it, or this really will happen.). 窯 hard up Somebody so hard up for cash, the volunteered to explore a black hole with nothing but a bow. 窮 grope A pictograph of a japanese schoolgirl getting groped by perverts on the train. The fingers of course, a crown (her too short skirt) and her legs below (which to be honest are pretty thick like tree trunks). 探 deep If the groper's "tree" goes up the girl's miniskirt too deep, he'll ejaculate fluid. (Sorry it's kinda coarse but it works.). 深 hill At Capitol Hill proposals get axed on the floor. 丘 point A point is a extra little hill at the top of a mountain. We'll call it 'Fireman's Point'. 岳 soldier The hill is so steep that you almost have to have animal legs to walk on it. However, the soldiers have no problem because they've been trained to march there. 兵 seacoast Seacoast -> Coast Guard -> "water soldiers" lined up on the seacoast defending our shores. 浜 thread Spiderman lifts both elbows and small spiderwebs shoot from his wrist. 糸 weave Spiderman weaves his way through the skyline while listening to his theme song on his ipod. It is played, of course, by kazoos. 織 darning (repair) After a day being virtuouos and keeping the city safe, Spiderman's outfit is in need of some repair. Luckily, as he can shoot out threads darning is very easy for him to do. 繕 shrink After spending the night at an inn, spider man discovered to his dismay that his costume had shrunk in the wash, and no longer fit! 縮 luxuriant Every taskmaster's threads are luxuriant, made with only the best fabrics in all the brightest colours. 繁 vertical When Spider-man does his amazing vertical wall climbing, a throng of photographers accompanies him to get a good shot of the action. 縦 line This kanji is used for train lines. Spiderman does a hot spring tour of Japan using the train lines. You can see the Spidey costume hanging on the washing line as he enjoys the onsen. 線 tighten The sovereign appears to be ruling, but in reality someone behind him (for instance his wife) has a thread around his throat, and if he dares to make a decision she doesn't like, she starts pulling the thread and tightens it. 締 fiber If you want to increase your fiber intake, just leave on those threads that are used to sew up the stuffed turkey and eat them too. 維 gauze Lots of girls in Japan wear gauze patches over one eye made of course white fibers. They think it is cute, and I must admit, I have come to think so too. 羅 practice Spidey stays on the east side of the city to practice. The West Side is too dangerous. 練 thong Spiderman has a secret fetish, he likes nothing better than to dress his lovedoll in a thong. Wierd, eh! 緒 continue Even though Peter Parker has become Spiderman, he continues to sell pictures that he takes as a photographer. 続 picture There's never a picture of Spiderman meeting Peter Parker... I wonder why? 絵 overall Spidey is alloted the biggest crime fighter jurisdiction in NYC because his overall arrest record is the best. 統 strangle Spiderman hates going to parties and having to mingle. He wants to strangle someone after just a little small talk. 絞 salary Spiderman has so little free time in his schedule that he unable to fit in a job with a good salary. 給 entwine When threads become entwined, each thread is tangled to another. 絡 tie Spiderman and a fan have a competition to see who can tie up the most enemies fastest. Spidey's using his webs and the fan is using an aerosol can of silly string. So far they are tied. 結 end This winter is so cold that spiderman's web gets brittle! Could this be the end of spiderman? 終 class Spiderman with his arm stretched out showing the class how he produces webs. 級 chronicle In a chronicle the thread of the story can twist and turn like a snake. 紀 crimson After Spider-Man is whacked in the head with a I-beam, crimson blood flows from the wound. 紅 settlement Have you heard about patients who have surgery and the doctor mistakenly leaves a medical instrument inside the patient’s body and proceeds to stitch up the patient’s incisions with stitching thread? Can you say “malpractice settlement”? 納 spinning Spiderman can spin his webs in any direction. 紡 distract Spiderman got distracted when someone yelled, "Spiderman, wait a minute." He turned around and flew into a building. 紛 introduce Spiderman seduces all the girls he's intoduced to. 紹 sutra The word ‘sutra’ literally means a rope or thread that holds things together. Here we see that it is a spool that is holding the threads together. 経 sire It's a little known fact that Spiderman was sired by a radioactive monkey, not a spider. Crazy genetics! 紳 promise He tied a thread around the ladle as a reminder of his promise to do more house work. 約 dainty Dainty women would always rather work with thread than in a field. 細 accumulate Like a jellyfish, a floating brain accumulates threads beneath it-- a weird collection. 累 cord Spiderman has been captured and given the ultimate torture: they forced a crown of needles on his head and attached it to an electrical cord, which they are about to plug into an outlet... 索 general Spiderman could not achieve general acceptance by the media even after winning the public's heart. 総 cotton Spiderman's polyethylene suit starts to ride up after a while, so he always looks forward to the white cotton towels he wears while lounging around his apartment. 綿 silk Spiderman has little squares in the flesh of his wrists that the silk webbing comes out of. 絹 winding After stopping a bank heist, Spiderman is seen winding his webbing around the stolen goods to trap them in a tree until the police arrive to take them back. 繰 inherit Spider-Man is hooked on rice--it's all he inherited from his Uncle Ben. 継 green Spiderman's nemesis the Green Goblin is in a slump; He's replaced his glider with a broom and is throwing grains of rice instead of bombs. 緑 affinity Spiderman has no affinity for a broom hence his house is a pig sty. 縁 netting Spiderman dies of a mosquito bite. They replace the (ineffectual) netting over his bed with a glass canopy, and put a viking's horned helmet on his dead head, so he can lie with dignity. 網 tense You'd be tense too if you were a slave and your owner removed the threads covering your crotch. 緊 purple Why is your ass purple? Well, I stopped and sat for a bit on a pile of thread... (I guess it was freshly dyed). 紫 truss Because people are so afraid of the procedure, string has to be used by the acunpunturist to truss up his victims, er, patients. 縛 straw rope The tortoise has escaped! We tied it up with a straw rope, but all that's left of the rope are some torn threads, and the unbound tortoise is nowhere to be found. 縄 infancy In its infancy, a butterfly is protected by a cocoon, as it doesn't yet have any power of its own. 幼 behind Column of walking legs (caterpillar) getting into a cocoon, about to leave its past self behind. 後 faint The villagers haven't the faintest idea that giant coccoons resting in the mountain are soon to hatch. 幽 how many At the Mexican fiesta, there is a coccoon eating competition. How many coccoons can one person eat? No one has managed more than two before giving up... 幾 mechanism Tolkien's ents are actually ancient robot-like mechanisms made of wood. Picture a pilot sitting inside, furiously sliding away at an abacus to steer the ent. 機 mysterious What could be more mysterious than a cocoon in a top hat trying to sneak in...? 玄 livestock This mysterious rice field grows not only rice, but livestock too! Picture little pigs and chickens growing right out of the ground, among the rice plants. How bizarre! 畜 amass One sneaky farmer wanted to amass a large collection of livestock. We all know that cows like to eat flowers, so he planted lines of flowers leading to his own fields. The livestock followed the lines, eating the flowers one by one, and amassed in his field. 蓄 bowstring A magic bow that only Gandalf can yield: there is no bowstring on it, and he uses his magic to fire arrows. 弦 hug A mysterious turkey with human fingers wants to hug me... I will never go to Tokyo Disneyland again! 擁 nourishing Water is doubly mysterious. It`s in all our nourishment...and yet, it`s really not nourishing at all. 滋 mercy Mercy comes from the doubly mysterious heart of God. 慈 magnet A magnet is a rock with two sides; one that mysteriously pushes and one that pulls; doubly mysterious. 磁 lineage The single stroke added to the beginning of the primitive for thread gives the image of threads woven into a single cord. Hence the meaning, lineage. [7] 系 person in charge Mr. T is the person in charge of the DNA research center. 係 grandchild Your grandchild is the child of your DNA. 孫 suspend The prefecture has suspended all DNA research for heart disease because of corruption. All involved will be suspended by their wrists. 懸 instead Gone is the time for stamps - use e-mail instead. 却 shins Shins are the part of the body that one uses instead of one's eyes, for finding furniture in the dark. (Ouch!). 脚 wholesale Selling wholesale horses over the internet had to be stopped because the cost of stamps was too much. 卸 honorable An honorable man will not try to cut in front of the line at the wholesale stamp store. (Imagine just how much honor it takes facing those long lines at the post office!). 御 clothing It's customary to cover the flesh with clothing, but some designs are so outrageous they're not bigger than a stamp that just covers your crotch. 服 fate When you're born, your fate is measured, fitted, and stamped onto your soul. Good luck defying it. 命 orders "These are your orders," declares the general while passing out documents at the meeting. As everyone started to leave, the general exclaims "Oh wait! I need to certify these orders!" and went around stamping each paper with his personal chop-seal. 令 zero The amount of people that can order the rain to rain. 零 age You know you are fast approaching a ripe old age when you get orders from the dentist to get new teeth. 齢 cool To keep your water cool, just order some ice. 冷 jurisdiction Two cowboys are crossing a state limit. One says to him “Did you know that in this Jurisdiction there are Orders to get your head?”, so he takes out his gun and shoots him. He claims the reward afterwards. 領 small bell Some restaurants have a small gold bell to call someone to take customers' orders. 鈴 courage I imagined some kind of initiation rite in old China, where every young man has to show his courage. They then receive a chopseal which is a mark of their courage. 勇 traffic I bounce down the road on my pogo stick, easily getting through the dense traffic. 通 jump The winner of the long jump competition was disqualified when they found he used a pogo stick tied to his leg to jump further. 踊 doubt Unless they use spoons to feed and darts to subdue the animals, I doubt the new zoo will get the WWF seal of approval. 疑 mimic Think of a mimic in Dungeons and Dragons, or a doppleganger: If you have doubts as to whether one of your party is genuine or a mimic, examine his fingers -- they'll lack fingernails or finger prints, and in fact are a poor mimicry of real fingers. 擬 congeal Is there any doubt that ice is congealed stuff? 凝 pattern This pattern made of bamboo is for a new model of car designed to leave as small an ecological fingerprint as possible. 範 crime Crimes can often be solved using the tools of dogs and fingerprints. 犯 unlucky Sherlock Holmes is very unlucky: he just fell off a cliff while he was looking around for fingerprints. 厄 dangerous You're bound up by ropes to an unlucky person. It's dangerous, because whatever happens to him will happen to you too. 危 address Your address should be displayed on your house and mailbox. 宛 arm Like in Memento, I tattoo my address on my forearm flesh so I don't forget it. 腕 garden Japanese "gardens" aren't anything more than a pot of flowers on top of the mailbox. 苑 grudge I couldn't drop my grudge against him. So I put a severed pig's heart in his mailbox. He got the message. 怨 willow The willow is the tree that droops likes a hare's ears. 柳 egg The Easter Bunny dropped an egg on my desk and got yolk all over my receipts and stamps. 卵 detain Got a receipt for that dagger, son? If not, we're going to detain you and send you to work in the rice fields. 留 trade There's a buyback program where you can trade in your dagger for money. But it's quite ineffective, since only registered dagger-owners with the original receipts can participate, and not criminals with illegally-purchased daggers. 貿 stamp Before sticky backs, they had to staple stamps to letters. 印 entertain To me, this looks like a pictograph of a road leading to the big city (see the buildings?) where there are plenty of places to be entertained. Unfortunately in this city, every store is the same: staples. What tools! 興 sign of the bird The sign of the bird on this whiskey bottle is of course the Famous Grouse blended Scotch. 酉 sake Sake is just watered down whisky. 酒 bartending At the local pub, their bartending practices are unusual. They serve the whiskey by pouring it from a ladle, like one would from the punch bowl. 酌 fermentation The secrets of fermentation are passed to the son who displays the most filial piety. 酵 cruel It's cruel to pour alcohol down a cow's mouth. 酷 repay Imagine a different kind of tax refund - instead of money, the state repays you with whiskey. 酬 dairy products To stay healthy, Dr. Phil told me to have some dairy products with each bottle of whiskey I drink... 酪 vinegar Drinking alcohol that's turned to vinegar feels like a saw going down your throat. 酢 drunk God you're drunk! How many whiskeys did you have? 9? 10? 酔 distribute To distribute whiskey during Prohibition you had to be as sneaky as a snake. 配 acid The prostitute carries an old whiskey bottle filled with acid to throw at any difficult Johns. 酸 waver Have you ever had Wild Dog brand whiskey? That stuff is downright evil. So evil, the bottle has horns, and you need to sign a waiver before you drink it. Because of this warning you will surely waver as you bring the shot glass to your lips. 猶 revered I drank the Devil Whiskey and was revered by all. Too bad I had to have my anus glued shut from the damage it did to my digestive system... 尊 beans If I eat beans, after one mouthful I fart like some kind of horned animal. 豆 head The head of the family sits at the head of the table. 頭 short He's so short, he can't even throw over a table while playing darts. 短 bountiful The bountiful feast was so bountiful that it bent the table below it under its weight! 豊 drum Japanese festivals have drums so big, a samurai has to sit on a table to beat one with a tree branch! 鼓 rejoice The samurai sitting on the drum is on a stage, and the people below him are rejoicing with their mouths in unison. 喜 timber trees The hippies object to trees being cut down for timber. They have glued themselves to the timber-trees and are beating their drums. 樹 dish Three dishes stacked side-by-side in a dishwasher. 皿 blood Image: Holy Grail with a drop of Jesus blood on it. 血 basin The part of the kitchen sink in which you wash dishes in is the basin. 盆 alliance An undercover alliance between Japan (the sun on its flag) and Turkey (the moon on its flag) detected by a surveillance satellite dish. 盟 steal You are so poor you dont know where your next dish will come from all you know is that you will have to steal it. 盗 warm If you leave water out in the sun in a dish, naturally it will get warm. 温 oversee The slavetrader oversees the slaves washing dishes in the kitchen. No reclining on the floor! 監 overflow Who`s job is it to oversee the water level on the dam? It`ts overflowing! 濫 specimen The overseer tags his slaves with gold earrings, just like specimens. 鑑 fierce If you want to make your wild dogs fierce, put a child in their dish. 猛 boom Japan`s economic boom turned their empty plates into full ones. 盛 salt In the old days, salt was a worth alot, so it is not surprising to find someone reclining on the ground, mouth to plate, getting every last grain of that delicious salt. 塩 silver Like gold, silver is a metal. 銀 resentment The athlete's state of mind is nothing but resentment after getting the silver medal. 恨 root Since trees eat through their roots, one could imagine roots as tree silverware. 根 instant For instant postal delivery, buy a silver stamp! 即 baron An eagle stole the baron's eye in the war, but now he has a silver coin glued in the socket instead. 爵 node Is it just me, or do the nodes on a bamboo tree look like a stack of Cup Noodle instant soup cups? 節 retreat You see a huge army of people in silver armour on the road so you retreat. 退 limit The speed limit at The Pinnacle is posted on silver signs. 限 eyeball The baron's silver eye was not actually an eyeball. 眼 good A drop of silver is good, but a whole bar of it is better! 良 melodious A glowing halo surrounds a magnificent full moon. A perfect image of the mythic and melodious music of the spheres. 朗 wandering John the Baptist with a halo sprinkling water on people as he's wandering the wilderness. 浪 daughter If there were any woman one would picture with a halo above her head, it would be ones daughter. 娘 eat That umbrella looks good enough to eat! 食 meal I'm Anti-McDonald's. Anti-Happy Meal. Anti-hamburger. 飯 drink In Japan, the one thing I always seem to be lacking with my food is a properer sized drink. Instead I have to drink that shot glass of water. 飲 hungry The smell of cooked food wafts past you in the wind, making your stomach rumble and feel hungry. 飢 starve All those starving models in Hollywood - they want to eat, but their ego (about their appearance and trim look) makes sure they grin and bear it! 餓 decorate We decorate a table before eating, reclining a towel over it. 飾 Building (in names) This Bldg. is like all the other government buildings - they house bureaucrats who sit around sipping wine and eating expensive meals at the taxpayers expense. 館 foster A sheep became the foster parent for a wolf pup, feeding it with milk. This story cannot end well... 養 sated My gluttony was only sated after I ate the hamburger AND the wrapper! 飽 previously Think of previously as "the previous customer" in a restaurant. At a cheap sleazy diner, the waitress gives you unwashed silverware that was previously used by the previous customer. Yuck. 既 outline A murder has been commited. A corpse was found under a tree. The police chalks the outline of the victim, an old silvered-haired waitress working at a restaurant nearby. 概 rue If you don't leave some silver as a tip, you will rue the day you earned the resentment of your waitress. 慨 even This character is easiest remembered as a pictograph of a water lily floating on the surface of the water, which gives it its meaning of even. The fourth stroke represents the calm, smooth surface of a pond, and the final stroke the long stem of the plant reaching underwater. [5] 平 call I just follow the calls from the frogs mouths on the lily pads to hook them. 呼 two-mat area A two-mat area is just about as much ground as you will need for a lily pond. 坪 evaluate Good evaluation should always be words of even fairness. 評 reap Sheaf? No. This is the sign of the X-Men. I'm going with Wolverine on this one.. Wolverine reaps the bad guys with his saber-like claws. 刈 hope Wolverine hopes they invent linen sheets that he won't keep shredding in his sleep. 希 villain Wolverine takes out a villain who can't be cut by smacking the crap out of him with a shovel. 凶 bosom As you know, female comics villains are always binding the flesh of their bosom up in interesting ways. One has to wonder how these clothes stay on their body at all... 胸 detach I've finally met my arch-rival, the evilest of all villains. Finally, I'm about to fight him. But what's this? He's suspiciously quiet. I move to attack him, and his right arm falls off at the elbow. Strange. I walk up to him and detach his left arm. Very strange. I undo his belt, and take off his top hat... BLAST! It was just a decoy turkey! 離 kill Wolverine leaps over a tree and with one swipe of his claws kills a bad guy aiming a missle launcher. 殺 genuine Earthworm Jim's prized possession is a genuine copy of the #1 issue of Spiderman. 純 dull From the earthworm's perspective, it most be pretty dull when you are put in a metal bowl, just waiting for being put on the hook on the fishing trip the next day. 鈍 spicy Eating spicy food makes you stand up ten times faster than usual, 'cause you just need to get something to drink! 辛 resign This guy's job is tasting the spicy curry at the local Indian Food Factory. He has to resign from his job before his tongue is rendered completely useless after all the spicy food that he has to try all day long... 辞 catalpa The catalpa is the tree that bears the spicy Indian bean (NOTE - The Catalpa is also known as the "Indian Bean" due to the bean pods that grow from it). 梓 superintend Superintendant Chalmers is dining at Principal Skinner's house. He takes a bite of his meal which is unbelievably spicy. His wig pops off and he yells out: "SKINNERRR!". 宰 wall Did anyone else used to put ketchup packets on the ground and jump on them so they spattered on the wall? 壁 evade You can try and evade them, but they'll ketchup with you on the road... Sorry, couldn't resist it. 避 new "Great. I'm standing on top of a tree that's about to be cut by an axe. Well, I guess it's time for my new life." 新 firewood Sometimes, new firewood still has flowers on it. 薪 parent I remember this one the way the Japanese do: a parent standing on top of a tree watching what his or her kid is doing. 親 happiness ten spices of happiness, something on a Chinese fast-food take out menu... 幸 tenacious Tenacious-D is happy band led by a fat man. (It's Tenacious-D time, ya muthafucka', gwaoh!). 執 report Recall the fashion model wearing just a stamp over his crotch. When he got happy, of course, it ended up in the news report. 報 shout FOUR!! like in golf, someone shouts four and you see the golf ball right in front of you. 叫 twist Stories full of twists are difficult to write, because of the cornucopia of threads the author has to manage. 糾 income Prostitutes can make a veritable cornucopia of income by using their crotches -- they put the "come" in "income." 収 lowly A lowly single rice grain, dropped in an empty field, can produce a cornucopia of food. 卑 tombstone A stone makes a lowly tombstone. 碑 land In the distance, there is a pinnacle, which the newly-awakened rice-seedlings who are still stuck in the ground can see. Could it be the Promised Land? 陸 intimate Some of them begin to see eye to eye about the possibility of reaching the promised land. A group of awakened rice-seedlings stuck in the ground becomes intimate and starts to form a plan. 睦 forces The rice-seedlings still stuck in the soil gather round in a circle. Their combined power forces them out of the ground at last. 勢 heat The rice-seedlings (newly freed from the ground but with soil still clinging to their roots) gather in a circle around an oven fire. They need to heat up prior to their journey (presumably plants can't walk if they're too cold?). 熱 diamond Deciding to use the diamond-shaped water caltrop flower as cover/protection, the rice-seedlings with their walking legs (now free from soil), can start their journey. 菱 mausoleum However, the pinnacle that the rice-seedlings finally reach with the use of their walking legs turns out not to be the Promised Land after all, but simply a mausoleum (containing many dead rice-seedlings exhausted from previous quests?). Oh no! 陵 sign of the hog A greedy hog in a top hat who has eaten all of the acorns. He even elbows people out of the way to get them. 亥 nucleus In the nucleus of the acorn, all the DNA is stored -- the building blocks for a new tree. 核 engrave This famous ninja (I always use ninjas with sabres, distinct from samurai) used to engrave the kanji for his name onto acorns, and throw the acorns to distract his enemies. The legend goes that by the time his victims would pick up the acorn and read the engraved kanji, they were already dead. 刻 above-stated The above-stated words are the acorn from which the following statement grows. 該 censure Animal Farm works for me - where the hogs have the greatest power of censure. 劾 mention Why are the roads leading through the woods so sticky and dirty? Hmm... I think the forest ranger mentioned something about excess resin on the roads... 述 art Behold the "Boulev'Art" : a life-size section of a boulevard cast in a huge block of resin. Some call it ... art. 術 cold A cold lunch: in the house, celery, pre cooked animal legs (i.e. chicken drumsticks) and ice tea. 寒 brew To me, the grass skirt is composed of six celery sticks and a scarf. Apparently you can brew whiskey out of grass skirts. No wonder it tastes horrible. 醸 defer A graduate student in anthropology tells the University that he plans to defer his studies for a year, and instead conduct "field research" on the grass-skirt-wearing native women on the island of Jou. 譲 lot My dream is to buy a small lot on a tropical island and spend the rest of my days relaxing in a grass skirt. 壌 lass Two Irishmen visit Hawaii and see a woman wearing a grass skirt and nothing else. "That's some lassie," says one to the other. "But alass Danny Boy, you can't be bringing her home.". 嬢 poison If you grow up with a mother that drinks and smokes, you can be sure it's poison in the stuff you get from her breasts. 毒 elementary When he was growing up, Venom never had many friends in elementary school. Maybe it explains why he turned out how he did. 素 barley If you eat lots of barley, you'll grow up to have strong walking legs. 麦 blue The last time I saw a blue moon was in my youth when I was growing up. 青 refined Before rice is refined, it is actually blue...bet ya didn't know that!! (alternate....Condi Rice was blue when insurgents blew up the iraqi refinery where oil is refined). 精 solicit That door-to-door salesman can stand outside ringing my doorbell until he's blue in the face. There's a big sign on my front door, and the words clearly say "No Soliciting". 請 feelings Data is feeling blue about not having any feelings ... hey, wait a minute. 情 clear up Sun and blue sky! Yep, the weather's cleared up! 晴 pure Pure sea water is always a radiant blue. 清 quiet When someone you know who is normally talkative goes quiet, it's usually a sign that they are contending with the blues. 静 blame As one grows up, one typically starts to blame all of their problems on money. 責 exploits A lot of modern software is full of exploits which can be abused by hackers. I blame multi-threading. 績 volume The volume of the wheat crop is way down this year! Blame the weather. 積 bond Mr. T's plot of world domination is foiled. Who is to blame? Bond. James Bond. 債 pickling When pickling you MUST use distilled water! When it doesn't come out right, generally it is the water that is to blame. 漬 surface Alice got back to the surface by climbing up the rabbit hole on an extremely long scarf. 表 bag Mr. T's punching bag has one beat up surface. 俵 undefiled To ensure she remained undefiled, a young girl growing up in a rough area always kept a dagger concealed under her threads, even when she went into the water. 潔 pledge Imagine a totalitarian regime where, while growing up, you have to pledge allegiance to the flag at dagger-point and with St. Bernard guard dogs watching you. 契 consume This means eat/drink/smoke. Maybe you make a pledge to stop gutsing/binging/puffing, but your own mouth is tempting you to put something in it. 喫 harm With kids growing up in your house, you have to keep them from harm of putting anything in their mouth, paint chips, bleach, knvies, etc. 害 control The roads are icy, and a whole bunch of cars have spun out of control! Luckily, it was just a couple of dents; nobody was harmed. 轄 proportion Hey, don't take this out of proportion! I did you just a little harm, no need to come over here with a saber... 割 constitution The constitution is important. At least my parents thought so. In the house where I grew up, it was framed on the wall. Under the watchful (sideways) eye of my mother, we had to study it until we knew it by heart. 憲 life Growing Up is just a Drop of our life. 生 star Our star, the sun, gives life to all cells. 星 surname When women marry, they adopt the surname of their husband, signifiying the start of a new life together. 姓 sex Sex is the only state of mind for many men through their whole life. 性 animal sacrifice Animal sacrifice = taking the life of a cow. 牲 products If you were to stand up all the products you have accumulated over the course of your entire life on top of one another, the result would probably be as tall as a cliff. 産 hump You are struggling to the top across the humps, but you suddenly see the pinnacle and you feel new life in your walking legs. 隆 summit Walking through bushes you reach the summit of Mount Fuji. 峰 sew Good thing I brought some thread, cause I need to sew my pants that I tore up walking through the bushes before we hit the road to go back down the mountain. 縫 worship I put my fingers together in worship of the bush that hangs from the ceiling -- that wonderful mistletoe which has gotten me kissed by many a girl. 拝 longevity This old China man glued shrubs to his body. The added intake of oxygen from the shrubs was, according to him, the secret of his longevity. Sometimes he would sit all day in meditation without moving, and the locals believed the old man had actually turned into a shrub ! 寿 casting We take a casting because metal will have much greater longevity than the original. 鋳 enroll Once upon a time, in order to enroll in a Christian school you had to answer a series of questions to ensure that you were really Christian. For example, the principal might show you a picture of a Christmas tree and a picture of some bamboo and ask you which one is most suitable for decoration at Christmas time. 籍 springtime In the springtime bonsai get plenty of sun. 春 camellia The tree of spring. Fact: Camellia are highly valued in Japan and elsewhere for their very early flowering, often among the first flowers to appear in the late winter [early spring?]. 椿 peaceful If you look into Japanese gardens they seem so peaceful - with their small bonsais and the white stones looking like rice grains. 泰 play music When you play music to them, your bonsai will grow like they are in heaven. 奏 reality Bonsais are grown in a house, away from the harsh reality of the real world where they wouldn't survive. 実 dedicate To join the temple, you have to dedicate yourself to raising bonsai for enlightenment, and cornstalks for sustenance. 奉 stipend Mr. T gets a stipend every month if he stays dedicated to his temple training, a very hard thing for the impatient T. 俸 rod The wood from this tree is dedicated to making rods to flog naughty kids. 棒 discreet Muttering words of gratitude for a wonderful meal, I discreetly slipped my cabbage under the table for the dog. 謹 diligence Growing cabbages takes muscle and diligence. 勤 Sino- In the water between Japan and China, the Sino- side has put scarecrows in the water to try and keep the Japanese away. 漢 sigh A sigh escapes the mouth of the scarecrow, who laments: "...if I only had a brain." 嘆 difficult It is difficult for a scarecrow to scare a turkey or else they would've been called scareturkeys. 難 splendor The Queen of England taking a walk round a village: 'Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing the splendour of the flowers in your garden. Simply splendid. Ten out of ten.' The villager gruffly replies: 'No it 'aint. It's all muck. An' I'm gonna cut it all down and sell it to the farmer for silage.'. 華 Hint: Splendor in the Grass. Compare with 草. This is just a more splendid version of that kanji. droop For an old man with a walking stick, even a drop of silage to carry on his back will make him droop low down to the floor. 垂 drowsy Our eyes droop when we are drowsy. 睡 spindle Spindle: the needle that drops on an LP record player. This is made of metal. It droops. Viola. 錘 ride It's a hay ride! You sit on piles of silage and everyone likes to imitate old-time farmers with a piece of wheat sticking out of their mouths. 乗 surplus If you go for a ride and find a saber beside you, perhaps you got into an Army surplus jeep. 剰 now The meeting is not at quarter to seven but now! 今 include This clock includes a mouth that will tell you what the time is now. Hearing impaired people have this kind of watches... now imagine them as a big mouth under the clock. 含 versify A rapper is trying to versify, but sucks: Hickery dickery dock, the mouth spat out the clock. I'm gonna shoot you with my glock, if you don't suck my cock! Versify! 吟 wish Someone wishing from the bottom of their heart that the clock would stop. A mid-life crisis perhaps. 念 harp Two kings were fighting over a beautiful harp. So they had a clock built into it that would measure how long each one played it. That way they could be sure none played it more than othe other. 琴 shade The only shade at The Pinnacle is in the shadow of the giant clock tower, or from a rising cloud. 陰 beforehand Beforehand, this was a halberd but I cut it short so it could be for hand to hand combat. 予 preface The preface to all human history was written beforehand in caves. 序 deposit Think ahead! (use your head beforehand) Always deposit money in your savings account. 預 plains These days we all work in front of computers. Beforehand we all worked out in the fields, in the plains. 野 concurrently Our ninja hero, disguised as a gardener with a rake, is suddenly attacked from both left and right concurrently by bulls with animal horns. Our hero lets out a blood-curdling scream and tears his rake handle vertically in half, so he now has two wooden staffs (split rake handle) to fight with. He grips each staff (left side and right side) and rams it into the horns of the charging bulls. The force of each charging bull causes the tips of each staff to split again (split bottom of each rake handle). 兼 dislike Naturally, if you're dating more than one woman concurrently, they will certainly dislike each other! 嫌 sickle This is a special sickle with metal blades on both sides. It can cut many things concurrently! 鎌 self-effacing When you are self-effacing you use words to concurrently bring yourself down and make yourself look better. 謙 bargain Stores don't want you to know it, but if you find the secret cave, they run bargains there concurrently to their regular prices. (Image: pulling a certain lever in a store to find the "bargain cave"). 廉 west Take it as four and the top bar as one, then: Of the four compass directions, one of them is west. 西 value What might it mean for a person in the old west to be of value? Their face is on a "Wanted!" poster, of course. Imagine the reward... 価 need In some movie with the theme of the Old West, the population of a town finds themselve in dire need of women, after all of the town's womens became crazy and started gunshooting and participating in duels and such. 要 loins My loins ache! They need some flesh! 腰 ballot In the West we show our opinion through the ballot box. 票 drift In Florida, Bush threw Gore's ballots into the water, watching them drift away and setting the whole country adrift. 漂 signpost Trees were frequenly used as signposts in those days, indicating where one had to go to cast their ballots. 標 chestnut Chestnut tree, west nut tree. 栗 transition Since the days of the Old West, traveling has transitioned from trying not to step on big snakes to driving on big roads. 遷 capsize The U.S.S. Old West has capsized, and all the cowboys on board are trying to restore her upright. 覆 smoke In the Old West, they used to light fires in the ground to make smoke signals. 煙 south South of my belt leads to happiness. 南 camphor tree We traveled to southern Japan just to see a camphor tree. It's what we came for. 楠 offering If you go to someones place and the food sucks, you lower it down south of the table as an offering to their dog. 献 gates pictograph 門 question You begin to question all of the holes Gates leaves in his software. 問 review A little devil at the gates of hell reviews your record to see if you're evil enough to get in. 閲 clique You set a guard at the gate to fell intruders not of your clique. 閥 interval The interval between star systems (suns) was too large, so the stargates were created to travel between them. 間 simplicity The simplicity of bamboo plant is in all its joints being at equal intervals. 簡 open Sure you can squeeze through these gates by kicking them or pushing them with your body, but if you want to get them wide open, you need to do that with both your hands. 開 closed The gates are too big to be closed by man. Only a genie can. "Close sesame!". 閉 tower Each tower is guarded by a gate. 閣 leisure Imagine the gates the Garden of Eden, the ultimate land of leisure. You're not allowed in, but if you peek through you can see trees. 閑 hear Press your ear to the gates and see if you can hear what is going on inside. 聞 wet Forgetting about the moat, the king stepped out of his gate and landed in the water. Needless to say he got wet. 潤 column I think about oriental (eastern) Torii gates: they have two supporting columns made of wood. 欄 fight During the saloon brawl, one guy got glued to a table and was tossed out through the saloon gates. But he really wanted to fight, so he ran back through those gates (with the table still glued to his back) only to be tossed out again. Imagine him repeatedly running in and being tossed back out. 闘 godown Imagine a godown (dockside warehouse) where you can meet girls who will godown on you with their mouth. To keep the place a bit of a secert, they only have one gate. 倉 genesis Back in the day the people were so excited to get hold of the Sega genesis they looted the godown with sabers. 創 un- This looks like a pictogram of 3 fingers from each hand trying to open up a crack in a wall. That's an un-believable way to escape from prison OR the UN- have a prison in the Hague. 非 haiku While in jail, some people find Islam, but Mr T finds haiku. 俳 repudiate When ordered to go to the jail cell, the defendant gave the judge the finger and said he repudiated all that the legal system stood for if they were going to send an innocent man like him to jail. 排 sad Saddness is like having your heart captured and jailed because of some sad or terrible event, etc. Here the sad heart waits for someone to come and un-lock their jail cell and set them free again. 悲 guilt It is his guilt that is causing them. He is having these nightmares where the great (sideways) eye appears at the top of his jail cell, and is staring down intently at him. Guilt is a merciless tormentor. 罪 comrade Some man jailed in Russia, is freed by his comrade (from the Communist party perhaps), who crashes into the jail cell with a vehicle. 輩 front door The only way out of a jail cell is to serve your time and walk out the front door. There are no other doors. 扉 marquis Mr. T is made a marquis after he and the A-Team save the life of a duke. The duke also gives Mr. T the key to the gentleman's dart room where one can relax in luxury, smoke a cigar, and play a friendly game of darts. Mr. T eagerly accepts the key and places it on one of the gold chains that hang around his neck which acts as a key chain. 侯 climate The marquis has absolutely no interest in issuses of climate change. He's old and near death. [Don't forget the walking stick to symbolize his old age.]. 候 decide "Decide!" "Decide?! Death by drowning in polluted water or death by guillotine. How can I decide?" I asked. 決 cheerful His state of mind when escorted to guillotine was hardly cheerful. 快 admirable Mr. T is certainly an admirable person, so much so that parents are buying lockets with his picture in it and having their children wear them like amulets. 偉 difference I took my Grandmas locket to the antiques roadshow They said it's worth $50,000!! I said I'm not selling it for anything, so it makes no difference. 違 horizontal Spiderman buys a locket for Mary Jane because he wants to get horizontal with her. 緯 defense For "defense against the dark arts" class, you go the magical boulevard and buy an enchanted locket. 衛 Korea Kim Jong II gets all misty eyed when he looks at the locket of his departed mother; I’m rone-ry, so rone-ry (from team America). 韓 dry Dry one item in ten minutes on the clothesline. 干 liver Well you all know that the liver is the part of the body that would be quite grateful if you led a dry lifestyle (i.e. no alcohol). 肝 publish The newspaper pages are hung on the clotheseline to dry and then cut down with a sabre to be published. 刊 sweat The way sweat is supposed to work: it gets your skin wet, and then as it evaporates/dries, it cools you off. 汗 flats Small flats (garages) for cars help keep them dry. 軒 beach At the base of mountain cliffs, there is usually a beach. You often can see people lying there, drying off after a swim. 岸 tree trunk A fine mist is falling, and so everyone gathers around near the tree-trunk, effectively using the rest of the tree as an umbrella in order to keep dry. 幹 potato If your potatos are growing flowers and those little hooked roots, you should either buy less or eat them faster. 芋 eaves Under the eaves of the house the poor family has potato plants. 宇 too much You hang an umbrella upside-down on a hook of the scales and fill it with little potatoes. No luck: it weights too much. 余 exclude To become a member of The Pinnacle, they test you on a scale. If you weigh too much, they exclude you. 除 gradually You can't expect weight loss to happen overnight. You should limit going to the scale to weigh yourself to once a day or once a week, in order to observe the anticipated weight loss gradually. 徐 confer Amazed at the weight of his crotch, they conferred every honor upon him. (Image: guy with his junk on a scale getting a medal pinned to his chest/around his neck/being knighted, etc.). 叙 route On this route, all trucks have to check in at the scales before they can get on the road. 途 diagonal The main bar of an old-fashioned scale(balance) will be very diagonal if you place a giant measuring cup on one side. 斜 paint A true artisan mixes his own paint from water and soils on a scale in careful proportions. 塗 bundle Bundle of joy. Here I see the proverbial stork with a baby hanging from its mouth fly straight into a tree. Painful, but he doesn't drop the bundle. 束 trust We found a bundle of severed heads in your room, its difficult to trust you. 頼 rapids You need complete trust in your water guide to attempt Class 5 rapids. 瀬 imperial order This is an imperial order for pizza. To deliver the huge bundle of pizzas to the emperor, the pizza boy needs huge muscles. 勅 alienate This kanji is so strange that it was alienated at the kanji zoo. The bundle of joy stork bundles this kanji up and takes it to a kanji foster home. 疎 quick If you find a bundle of money on the road, pick it up quick before anyone notices. 速 organize When a bundle of taskmasters organize something chances are it won't be done correctly because they are constantly arguing. 整 saber My light saber has an awl setting. When I flick the toggle switch, the beam shrinks down to a little spike. My light saber becomes a light awl. 剣 precipitous The edge of The Pinnacle is precipitous, so they have a guard posted with an ice pick to poke people and keep them from the edge. 険 examination You're giving a tree an examination. You take a wood sample from the tree with an awl. 検 frugal Mr. T is as frugal as they come. He uses his one ice pick for everything: to eat, pick his teeth, clean his toilet, kill people, cook, etc. 倹 heavy The first computer in the world was as heavy as thousand computers are now. 重 move Even though the furniture is heavy, it'll be easy to move with all the muscles that he has. 動 meritorious deed A meritorious deed? Like moving a damsel in distress out of a fire, maybe. 勲 work Mr. T's real line of work is for a moving company. 働 species After the whole low-carb craze, scientists developed a new low-carb species of wheat, so that dieters could eat it without getting heavier. 種 collide Two heavy trucks in a game of chicken collide while racing toward each other on the boulevard. 衝 fragrant Do you know how they make those fragrant air fresheners? Well you take some flowers, compress them with a heavy weight, and put them on an oven fire for a while... 薫 ill Caveman got ill after flying third class. The cabin air and food got to him. 病 stupid Of course caveman is stupid. He doesn't know anything. He's a caveman! 痴 pox Pox is a sickness which symptoms include bean-shaped bumps on the skin. 痘 symptoms Once you have all the symptoms right, you have correctly identified the sickness. 症 rapidly I picture a sick caveman, and two people rapidly blowing darts at him. One is blowing poison darts, the other is blowing antidote darts. Will the sick caveman live or die? Depends on how rapidly they fire. 疾 diarrhea For a country full of pay-per-use public toilets, sudden diarrhea is certainly the most profitable sickness! 痢 tired I picture an exhausted sick caveman snuggling up in a comfy pelt blanket. 疲 epidemic Sickness-missiles are being engineered by bio-terrorists to spread epidemics all over the world. Imagine seeing footage of a place where those sickness-missiles are built : rows after rows of missiles, and if you look closely on each is inscribed in tiny letters the name of different sickness such as "flu", "plague", etc. 疫 pain When I was feeling sick my mum said I shouldn't go out to play on my pogo stick until I felt better. Well I wasn't strong enough to stay up on it and so fell over and have the pain to prove my mum right. 痛 mannerism This mannerism is a sickness of the modern generation. It was only recently that we started putting ketchup on everything. 癖 hide Young kids likes to hide in cardboard boxes. 匿 artisan Most people don't know that one of the most revered artisans in Japan preserves the ancient art of cutting cardboard boxes with an ax. 匠 doctor The doctor puts the cardboard box on his head and throws a dart at a chart to determine his patients' illnesses. 医 equal Four minus one stroke is equal to..? 匹 ward That's the homeless ward of the city. Wolverine lives in a cardboard box there. 区 hinge The hinge on Wolverine's cardboard box is made of wood because he doesn't have enough budget to buy metal hinges. 枢 assault The city decides to disperse the homeless ward with a precision missile assault. They didn't know Wolverine was living in a cardboard box there though... 殴 Europe "Europe? Yawn... I've been to every ward(country/area)," says Wolverine interviewed from his cardboard box. 欧 repress When a finger comes to take a stamp out of the box of stamps, the stamp shouts, "Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!". 抑 face-up All stamps in Mr T's collection box are lied carefully face-up. 仰 welcome Stamp-collectors sit and wait on the road to welcome new mail arrivals. 迎 ascend When an American Indian warrior dies, his body is placed on a table inside a teepee, and a ritualistic ceremony is held to encourage his spirit to ascend to that big buffalo hunting ground in the sky. 登 lucidity A few drops of acid/peyote and the Indians obtain lucidity on their vision quest, as if they were floating in the lucid sky. 澄 discharge I spent some time in her teepee...just the two of us...but I looked between her human legs and I saw a nasty discharge...so I made my escape rather hastily. 発 abolish I think discharging nuclear weapons should be abolished. That includes underground tests in caves. You listening Kim Jong-il? 廃 colleague Some businesses allow pets in the office. Here, my colleague is Mr T and he set up a little pup tent for his minidog, then turns around and completes his TPS reports. 僚 dormitory This guy would rather use his pup-tent as a house, than sleep in the dormitory. So he effectively turned that pup-tent into a house by getting a postal address for it etc. (just to emphasize house). 寮 heal In Final Fantasy 4, sleeping in a tent completely heals you and recovers all your HP and MP. 療 carve Start with a circumference and carve away until you get the shape you want. 彫 shape Everyone in the kindergarten came up with fun and interesting shapes made out of Play-Doh, except for the kid with the amputated arm. Seems like you really need both hands. 形 shadow The sun over the capital cast a shadow with the same shape. 影 cedar Cedar is an evergreen tree that keeps its shape all year long. That is, it doesn't loose its needles/leaves in the winter. 杉 coloring Mystique the shape-shifter changes the coloring of her skin to camouflage tones and perches herself in a tree like a vulture waiting for her pray. 彩 patent The shape of a sheriff's badge makes it patent who he is. 彰 lad A young lad is standing atop a cliff, looking at the writhing shape of his fallen lass below. 彦 face The lad jumps off the cliff, breaks his head, and smashes his face. 顔 ought Why, I ought to reshape your head... 須 swell An injured body part may swell. It will begin to throb like a bass drum and will change shape. 膨 visit Whenever the postman has to pay a visit to this place, he brings an elbow-shaped thingy that he throws to the St. Bernard. 参 wretched Whenever I have to visit the relatives... that puts me in one hell of a wretched state of mind. 惨 discipline Mr. T is a harsh taskmaster who will discipline you (beat you into shape) with his walking stick. 修 rare The king has a really rare umbrella, it can change shape. 珍 checkup Check-up result: doctor says your blood is infested with an umbrella shaped parasite. 診 sentence The teacher puts a tophat on all pupils with gramatically correct sentences, while the rest are left with a big red X on their homework. 文 vis-a-vis When sitting vis-a-vis, Scots will glue their kilt down to avoid embaressment. 対 family crest Who knew that Spiderman was Scottish! He has sewn his family crest onto his uniform. 紋 mosquito The mosquito (an insect) knows only one sentence: Bzzzzz. 蚊 adjusted The Scotsman goalkeeper adjusted himself. He reached down and adjusted the two things between his skinny fencepost legs. 斉 dose When my medicine dose is way too large, I adjust it by cutting it into smaller pieces with my saber. 剤 finish When the goalkeeper finishes the game, he drinks a lot of water and adjusts himself. 済 purification A scottish priest in a tartan kilt has put his altar between a couple of fence posts and is now playing the bagpipes in a very Scottish purification rite. 斎 solemn Even though it's a maddening task, the monks stay solemn as they rake rice between the fenceposts. 粛 bases Playing baseball in a rice field with sparklers stuck into the ground to act as bases. 塁 music Zelda: Ocarina of Time - The white sparkly thing is Navi. She's hovering/dancing around a tree to the legendary Lost Woods music. 楽 medicine New-age medicine involves using things like music and flowers (aromatherapy) as treatment. 薬 ratio It's quite mysterious how each sparkler gives of sparkles at a precise ratio of ten to one. Physicists have been studying this effect for decades, known as the Sparkler Effect, and using it to explain why stars look like sparklers in the night sky. 率 astringent I think that Heisig meant this as the "slightly bitter but fresh" meaning that it can have to describe foods like lemons. So imagine a guy trying a cocktail (water), feeling like he's been kicked in the face (footprint) and sparks are flying from his tongue. 'How did it taste?'. 'Hmm, yes, slightly bitter, but fresh". 渋 vicarious Now that I'm a responsible adult, I have to get my vicarious thrills from watching stupid people put sparklers up to their ears and burn their fingers. 摂 center Youve got the st bernard dead centre in your sights (the box). 央 England England, country of flower shows and big, fat dogs. 英 reflect In the solar system, the Sun is the central source of all light, everything else just reflects it. 映 red He was stabbed with a dagger, and little drops of red blood dropped onto the ground. 赤 pardon Blushing red while asking for a pardon from the taskmaster. 赦 unusual It's quite unusual and abnormal to see an apple with walking legs running away from the person who wants to eat it! 変 tracks Pirate pokes the tip of his wooden leg into an apple to disguise his tracks. 跡 barbarian The barbarian picks an apple from above and eats it even though there is a worm (insect) in it. 蛮 romance The romance between Snow White and Prince Charming started when Snow White took a bite of poison apple and her heart stopped. 恋 gulf In his most daring feat, William tell used his bow to shoot an apple off the head of his son across the water of the gulf. 湾 yellow The salad did not look very appetizing... The sprouts were yellow and there were animal legs sticking out of it. 黄 sideways A tree went all yellow. It died and fell down, ending up sideways. 横 grasp The Rubik's Cube keeps slipping out of my finger's grasp every time I try to turn it. One of the children must have been playing with it earlier... 把 color Bound up in the Rubik's cube are the 6 different colours. 色 discontinue Spiderman has decided to discontinue his red color suit in favor of the black one, it looks way cooler. 絶 glossy To print something with bountiful colour, they use glossy paper. 艶 fertilizer If you're sick, a part of your body may produce fertilizer that makes a colorful mosaic. 肥 sweet Little red riding hood is carrying around a wicker basket filled with sweet baked cookies for granny. 甘 navy blue Much like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Spiderman failed to heed Willy Wonka's warnings, and upon chewing on the 3 course meal chewing gum turned a very navy shade of navy blue. 紺 so-and-so When Willy Wonka went into the jungle to search for the Oompaloompas, they at first believed him to be a malicious so-and-so, and so they chased him up a tree. 某 conspire I imagine a clique of catty girls conspiring against a another girl...they are exchanging lots of words, chatting about how so-and-so girl is now up to such-and-such (gasp!), and how they will spread the word about it. 謀 mediator In a divorce, the woman needs a mediator because she won't talk to that so-and-so. Imagine the woman on the ground and the so-and-so up in the tree, and the poor mediator climbing up and down, trying to mediate their fight. 媒 deceit Kasparov practices deceit by grabbing your rook while pretending to yawn. 欺 chess piece Chess piece = wooden rook. 棋 national flag The United Republic of Chess' national flag is actually a banner with a rook, that way they can hang it at every tournament. 旗 period The slowest remote chess game ever: a one month period between every move. 期 Go Go is chess played with stones. 碁 fundamentals Fundamentals of chess: use the rooks to protect your ground. 基 tremendously It's a tremendous match between the two chess-players. They are clearly eachother's equal. 甚 intuition Intuition is a tremendously powerful resource of the mind. 勘 withstand Because I hid myself behind a huge dirt barrier I dug, I was able to withstand the tremendous nuclear blast. 堪 precious Gollum thinks he has found the precious but Bilbo's purse is just full of shells. The ring is around his neck. 貴 bequeath Bilbo bequeathes the "precious" to Frodo, who will carry it on the long road to Mordor. 遺 dispatch Dispatch all cars and chase the maestro! He's gone crazy and stolen a ladies purse! 遣 dance Probably easier to think of this kanji in that context. Attractive dancers should dance wearing nothing but sunglasses. 舞 nothingness When I enter the wooden tub heated by flames in the onsen, I can let all my worries slip away and be submerged into nothingness. 無 association The leader of the Spiderman association has tons of Spiderman figurines lined up on his shelf. 組 coarse Refined rice can only be found in exclusive grocery shops. Coarse rice by contrast fills the supermarket shelves - don't go looking for anything else there. 粗 tarrif The EU and US impose such high tariffs on food imports that third world wheat (the most basic of staples) never reaches first world supermarket shelves. 租 ancestor The ancestor worship is so common in Daoist and buddhist countries that you can buy tiny altars to put on the shelves, one for each deceased family member. 祖 thwart The shortness of the Japanese thwarts their attempts to reach the topmost (pinnacle) shelf without grabbing a chair. 阻 investigate The result of the inverstigation of the missing Trees? Why, most of them had become shelfs! 査 help HELP! Someone's pinned under this bookshelf and it's gonna take a lot of muscle to lift it off! 助 best regards It seems like every time my Japanese friends send me their best regards, they accompany them with a gift. Over time, I've gotten so many that I had to buy a second house which contains nothing but several fancy shelves. Each shelf is dedicated to a certain friend of mine and contains every last one of their presents. 宜 tatamai mat The king is peacefully sleeping on his new tatami mat when all of a sudden a shelf falls over and kills him. You can see his crown poking out and the brains splatter out the top of his head from all the pressure. 畳 row This is a simplification of 竝, a ideogram of two people standing in a row. 並 universal People at Universal Studios wait in rows so long that the sun goes down. 普 musical score Musical scores are in a universal language. 譜 damp You first wash you clothes with water and wring them until they are just damp before hanging them in a row under the sun to dry. If you don't wring them damp first they will take days to dry! 湿 appear Clouds were covering the sky for months now. Rows upon rows of people spent whole days with their heads turned upwards, waiting for sun to appear. 顕 slender At the time of Thanksgiving, there's a row of all sorts of food on the table, which you mustn't eat if you want to stay as slender as a thread. 繊 spirits After raining for two days in a row, you plead with the SPIRITS for some relief. 霊 profession A truly gruesome profession: an abattoir worker. Where the carcasses are upside down in a row that have not yet been cut up into sausages and steaks. 業 slap Here we have badly behaving husbands, whose wives have had them hung upside down in a row. Each wife approaches her husband, berates him, gives him a sharp slap in the face and, Three-Stooges style, pokes him in the eyes with her fingers. 撲 me Mr. T also finds himself as one of the husbands, whose wives have had them hung upside down in a row. But when his wife comes up to punish him, he pleads, “It’s me, Baby. I wasn’t behaving badly like these other foo’s.”. 僕 together Noah kept plenty of salad on board to entice the animals with their animal legs to scurry on board together, two by two. 共 submit It took over 600 frames for Mr T to make [1142] the Ark, but when he was finally done, he cast his saw aside and submitted the Ark to Noah for his approval. "I pity the foo who doesn't climb aboard this ark," said Noah to his friend. 供 uncommon Brains together with beauty is an uncommon combination. 異 wing The thing about feathers is that they usually cover the entire bird. A creature with feathers only on its wings would be very uncommon. 翼 deluge Lots of water coming together is called a deluge. 洪 harbor During a deluge, all the poor snakes get washed into the harbor. 港 outburst Having spent all day stringing together grains of rice he suddenly had an outburst, "I can take it any longer!". 暴 bomb Bombs make fiery outbursts. It's almost too logical, this one. 爆 respect As I like Aretha Franklin's song "R-E-S-P-E-C-T", I cut out each of the letters from pieces of card, then string them all together and send it to her as a valentine. 恭 elect Isn't this how the US presedential election works? You are given a choice between two snakes. Their politics are actually strung together but you get to feel as though you chose which one you want to lead you down the political road for the next four years. So which snake are you going to elect? 選 Mr. Mr. President! We all stand here together under a national flag. One thing is certain: we'll never give in. We are launching nuclear missiles now to implement mutually assured destruction protocol. 殿 well I nearly died by falling in a well. Actually, on two separate occasions. I'm glad to see they've added these fence posts. Now the well will be much safer. 井 surround The village surrounded the well with a wall so kids wouldn't fall in. 囲 till A man was tilling a new plot to plant xmas trees but his tractor hit an old covered-up well and fell halfway in, he's asking for a new tractor for xmas.. 耕 Asia A mouth barred up and not aloud to speak freely is the sign of asia (korea, China, pakistan etc). 亜 bad Because Asian people started to eat Western food, their hearts became bad and they started having heart attacks. 悪 circle The shape of a Yen coin. 円 angle A museum display of two walking sticks bound together under a glass canopy, showing the first device used to measure an angle. 角 contact For insects to get in contact with each other, they need to place their antennae at just the right angle. 触 unravel Did you know that you can unravel a cow? If you stick the dagger in at exactly the correct angle, the whole cow will just unravel. 解 again This is a belt with a non-adjustable jeweled buckle. Everytime you go back to the leathersmith telling him to move the buckle because you've packed on a few pounds (but that this is the last time!), he says "Again?!? Weren't you just here last month?". 再 lecture I have a funnel attached to my laptop that takes my prof's lecture and puts the words into a text file. The bigger the funnel, the more accurate the conversion, so picture a bunch of laptops with large, unwieldy funnels attached to the USB port. 講 subscription Subscription is like a money funnel, because the receiving end is small (just one company) and the other end is wide (the whole country). 購 posture Trees with good posture look like funnels. 構 gutter A gutter funnels water. 溝 argument It's very difficult to present a good argument if you don't bring along a scrapbook with some key words jotted down to the meeting. 論 ethics Mr. T has no ethics at the scrapbooking convention. He'll do whatever it takes to beat all those ladies. 倫 wheel Someone stole all the wheels off the ladies' cars at the scrapbook convention. 輪 partial Mr. T is very partial to hentai comic books. I know because he dropped a pile of them when I accidentally bumped into him at the door to kinokuniya! 偏 everywhere Go down the road in Japan and you will find comics EVERYWHERE, newpaper stands, 7-11, Tsutaya, even the supermarket. Comics are everywhere here along the road. 遍 compilation I took the compilation of covers of all my Spider-Man comics that I had saved in a scrapbook and glued them on my door. 編 tome A heavy scrapbook so full that flowers are sticking out. Only if a scrapbook is that full, it can be called a heavy book. 冊 code Coding is a tool which you can use to bend the computer to your will. 典 family name Looks a bit like Ft => Family title => Family name. 氏 paper spiderman has not a single paper with his family name on it (doesn't want to reveal his identity). 紙 marriage Marriage is the day in this woman's life where she gets a new family name. 婚 lower Mr. T travels to Japan and knows he must bow lower when presenting his business card. 低 resist Most japanese find it impossible to resist pushy businessmen in Japan when they push their damned business cards into your fingers. 抵 bottom I put all those useless business cards at the bottom of a cave. 底 people All the people of the world with all their family names shouting with their big mouths. 民 sleep In an Orwellian sense, the eye watching the people never sleeps. 眠 catch I was retreating from the battlefield. In the chaos, my friend threw his dogtags at me to give to his family. I managed to catch them with my fingers as the chopper was lifting off. 捕 bay The water of the bay washes all the dog tags up after the battle. 浦 bulrush Bulrush was the flower that you could see near almost all bays in japan before the japanese started putting concrete everywhere. Just check how many percent of Japan's coastline that is concretised... you'll be surprised. 蒲 shop A shop in an impoverished country is just a cottage with a dog tag identifying it. 舗 supplement I usually hear supplement in "dietry supplement". So you're given a cloak for extra fibre and dogtags for extra iron. Keeps you regular and stops you feeling tired and run-down. 補 residence There are so many places of residence inside the city walls, I put a calling card outside mine so I can find my way home. 邸 enclosure The city finally received the enclosure that it desperately needed, city walls to protect it against attacks from the enemy. 郭 county County cricket. "I say old boy, you've hit that ball clear over the city walls. That's six and out!". 郡 outskirts The city walls mark the outskirts of the inner city, where it begins to mingle with the suburbs. 郊 section Within the city walls, this section of town was so noisy that we had to muzzle them up. 部 metropolis In a huge metropolis, it's hard not to feel like just someone within the city walls. 都 mail The drooping citywalls was generating a lot of angry mail for the city officials. 郵 home country He reminisced about his home country: "Ah, back in my home country, the bushes grew so high that they covered the city walls!". 邦 hometown